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Ladies, here's how to get male upvotes!

I hope you guys realize this is tongue in cheek and don't take it too seriously!

Ladies, here's how to get male upvotes!

Size Doesn't Matter

This is the most universal one. If you say you like 4" willies you're golden with the poorly endowed men of this site (aka, the majority). Fun factoid: most men created their account on here to ask if women would be interested in their 5 inchers and below.

Feminism is of Satan

I'm not a feminist per se myself. But the last thing I want is upvotes from misogynists for saying so. To clarify: feminism has a lot of valid points. But what the men on here want to hear is women say feminism is for whiny bitches who can't appreciate the fact men have it harder..aka, sellouts.

Rape is a myth

If you're one of those women who says rape is just an overblown, pretend problem or an excuse for evil bitches to accuse innocent men of crimes they never committed, chances are you are not a survivor. Or the daughter of a survivor. Or the friend, mother, sister etc of a survivor. Not all of us are so lucky. But congratulations, those blue upvotes should make you very happy!

You are virgin

If you say you are a virgin and are saving yourself for another virgin's 4" cock, they will probably build a shrine in your honor. Complete with sacrificial upvotes. Enjoy presiding over your kingdom of insecurity and sexual frustration.

Bash other women...any way you can

This is one trick women seem to know all too well, sadly. In real life and online. Call other women lying, slutty, shallow attention whores. Take every opportunity you can to apologize for your vagina. Periods? How dare you do that to men. Childbirth? Ain't got shit on a kick to the nutsack. Do this and you will have the upvotes of every Elliot Rodger wannabe on the whole goddamn site.

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  • This was too real! Basically just say that you hate women as much as the Elliot Rodger wannabes on here do and you are golden!

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  • Hilarious, totally accurate and very well written.

  • Oh god I can smell more peacekeeping missions coming already.
    www.english-online.at/.../...tions-peacekeeper.jpg

  • Very true...
    =)

    Unless they're actual normal human beings - then your opinion will be upvoted no matter the hardcore truth. ;)

  • "Ladies, here's how to get virgin* upvotes!"

  • A fresh dose of cynicism.

  • Well you're not wrong on one thing, I can never get enough of bashing women.

    Though it's not cause they're women, it's cause they're liberals. It just so happens that the majority of women on this site are lefties so... Ya know, mea culpa.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFqn8gTmEQw

  • other people's responses are lol

  • I know these series of takes were meant tongue in cheek but there is a lot truth in comedy.
    (1) Size doesn't matter maybe it does but what of it to me the male equivalent would be spending all the early dates speculating whether a girl's vagina was an outie/innie and then when the time comes you strip down only to refuse to continue because she is an innie/outie. My penis is X inches long, it will still be X inches tomorrow, next week/month/year so why lose sleep over it.
    (2) Feminism is satanism - As you say it is not perfect and does have valid points but do you have to react like a zealous vampire killer. Two wrongs don't make a right.
    (3) Similar to 2 - As one of the commentators mentioned I would extremely wary of a female who said this, it is just super creepy.
    (4) Maybe it is my age but at this stage I could not care less if a potential partner was a virgin or not
    (5) I actually don't see the point of bashing anybody - Much less same gender bashing or cross gender bashing - The hippy screams in me "Why can't we all live in peace".

  • Haha so much of that is true sadly. Most of those upvoters are probably anon guys who aren't very popular on here though.

  • but I want to know how to get female upvotes 😔

  • You couldve just said show more cleavage, that always works lmfao.

  • You clearly didn't do your research evident by the fact you didn't bring up bacon.

    Not even once...

  • rs294.pbsrc.com/.../...qz4rgp_zps4c8eb8ac.gif~c200

    YESSS.

  • "Size doesn't matter"
    I don't really care about the whole size deal. I attract mates with what they get to see on a regular basis, not what's under my pants.

    "Feminism is of Satan"
    This just makes you sound like one of those girls who think that men who bring up the issues men face are just whining.

    "Rape is a Myth"
    ... Wait, is that even a thing? I'm sorry but I've never witnessed anybody saying that before so you'll forgive me if I'm a bit skeptical that you're not just trying to demonize us with that.

    "You are a virgin"
    Ok, I'll give you that.

    "Bash other women... any way you can"
    I don't know what to say to this... it's just not true. I will only upvote a bashing if the bashee deserved it. And you're acting like upvoting a comment that bashes a remark that's against men is a bad thing.

  • i know you don´t mean it but people tend to go on the opposite extreme way too much.

  • If you follow all those, you're gonna swim in those blue up votes.

  • -_- This -_-

  • Also if you say you sleep naked or if you say you masturbate, a lot of guys will upvote. :)

    • God damn ain't that the truth. I deliberately avoid all breast related questions the best I can now JUST cause I know this is all it's ever gonna be.

    • Haha. That's true.

  • Comedy gold... I can't believe how many guys are picking this to bits and taking it seriously...

  • I'm not even sure how to react.

  • Show More (15)
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