Single and Horny, And I Need HELP

[gobsmacked3]

The longer you are single, the more you realize what an issue sexual frustration is.

With it on face value easy to fix, but the reality far more complicated

These are the following options to deal with it:

1. Abstinence

The basis of this is merely waiting for your next relationship and dealing with your 'itch'. It can work well for people with low sex drives or others who have never been in a relationship with a vibrant sex life.

For those who have, it represents death through a thousand cuts.

2. Masturbation

Always available and offers relief as well as being fun.

But, the more you 'play', the less the relief felt. With it igniting the yearn in you to use two hands in the company of a lover.

In the end, equal frustration alongside the fun and relief.

3. Casual Sex/ One Night Stands

A method that has its merits as well as flaws.

From a male point of view, it is often not easy to just go out, find a woman and get laid. Even when it is, and you do find a willing woman you never know what you will get. The sex could be amazing, downright dreadful and anything in between.

Dealing with the morning after is also often a cocktail of complication.

It is easier for a woman to go out and get laid but she has to deal with the stigma that gets attached such as slut-shaming as well as the worry of safety. The aside is the casual sex might please the woman but also leave her feeling regret over the meaningless nature of the sex.

4. Friends With Benefits

A great option on face value with you coming to an agreement with a friend to have casual sex to help both of you out. The idea is brilliant for the real feeling you already have for each other means there will always be care and a desire to please within the sex.

Herein lies the irony.

For within the desire to please the lines of the agreement become skewed. With one often catching feelings while the other loves the joy within the casual. Even if you go into it by being openly honest with each other about what you want and do not want it more often than not ends in tears.

5. Go to a Prostitute

It is a real option for it allows you relief with no questions asked and no chance of a legacy.

I went once with this appeal in mind but the experience as I penned in the below Take left me feeling almost abused.

https://www.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-behavior/a25519-my-night-with-a-prostitute

From a female point of view, a laughable option.

#HELP!

[SatyricLord]

Nice myTake!

Masturbation can't replace sex. I can't feel the orgasms through masturbation. It ultimately takes away all my energy after I ejaculate.

Abstinence is torture. But at least it doesn't deplete my energy.

Prostitutes are overpriced and the sex they provide is unsatisfying. The prostitutes I went to were swindlers, which makes it worse. I went to four of them during a week in August 2015. Each one cost around $130-$140. I only got to fuck each swindler for 2 minutes and they would only let me ejaculate once! Paying for sex made me feel degraded. But sex feels so much better than masturbation. Those four girls were the only people I've ever had sex with.

Online dating is a massive waste of time and energy.

I don't have any experience with casual sex/one night stands and friends with benefits... I never had a girlfriend. No one wants to marry me because I don't got a job... I'm too introverted to go clubbing, partying or to other social events.

I used to think girls were compassionate in general. But now I know that compassion is restricted to guys they're attracted to only.

I don't know where I'm heading, but I just want to give up on girls.

I'm tired of obsessing over girls and I'm tired of looking around me and seeing every guy in a happy relationship with their wives and girlfriends.

Did I really enter the right planet?

[Johnagain]

Here, here! All single frustrated men; thumbs-up this one. "Masturbation can't replace sex!" (LET THE SKY WRITING PLANES SAY THAT.) "Online dating is a massive waste of time and energy." true. Everyone; get a clue!!! Eccept, not every couple out there is in a "happy," or even loving relationship. I'd say, less than half... so much less, that I can equate "relationship" with unnecessary stress, drama & duress. Oh... and we ARE on the wrong planet for men to be happy with sex, my friend. 😞

[Frankyboy131085]

All that money for 2 minutes I couldn't even come close to cuming that quickly never mind more than once that's an absolute rip off

[kaylaS91]

... I'm not single but still occasionally will get horny when my boyfriend is unable to hangout. I've found that going to workout helps a lot.

[gobsmacked3]

i workout every day. i guess im not used to not having sex

[kaylaS91]

true, old habits die hard. How long have you been without sex for?

[gobsmacked3]

About a month Hehe, you should see how muscular my left arm has become lol

[kaylaS91]

oh yeah, I bet. :P A month though? Rough. Today is my third day without due to scheduling conflicts that will continue till Sunday and I'm just barely hangin in there hah.

[gobsmacked3]

It must be tougher for you for you are in the routine of getting it. I just feel like a 'born again virgin'

[kaylaS91]

true... I've also got a set date to look forward to. Then again, if you're okay with casual sex, wouldn't that option be worthwhile remedy?

[gobsmacked3]

i could go out to a bar and pick up and get laid but it always creates hassle. i just want stress free sex which is hard to find.. But it gets to the point where you just need the touch/feel of a woman

[GuyWannaHelp]

In the light if this take, it sounds like the fact that I've never had sex is an advantage. I can tell my sex drive is pretty high, but since I never experienced the real thing, I don't know what I'm missing.

Prostitution is no option for me though. I feel like I need a more personal connection than just lust. As I am currently not seeing anyone, who knows how long that will take though.

In any case, great take! It's nice to come across someone who is also very accepting (I saw the picture on your profile)!

[AlphaMale1]

Being single over half of my adult life I can say that it is better to be single than in a relationship that is not really satisfying. From my experience some of the ideas presented in this article are not true.

It is better to be available when the right person comes along than to be in a, "going nowhere" relationship that prevents me from being with my soul mate.

Simply breaking up with the existing woman is not the answer. Many woman do not want a guy who is already in a relationship or just left one due to the baggage that comes with it.

[gobsmacked3]

I agree with your view on relationships, it is part of my issue for I do not be with just anyone But, while you wait for one you want to be with you still have sexual needs that are not being met

[AlphaMale1]

Masturbation takes care of the human need better than anything I know of. And it is better to stick to having sex by yourself than picking up a STD. STDs are HUGE deal breakers. I will not be with a woman who is infected with it. Does she have to tell me she is infected? Maybe and maybe not.
https://www.stdcheck.com/blog/stds-and-the-law/

[Loveherbut]

There is no such thing as "soul mate"

[AlphaMale1]

@Loveherbut I respectfully disagree. I have seen this level of love in the eyes of people older than me who have been happily married their whole life and live a life of content and happiness most can only dream of. Where do you think that deep level of life-long love comes from?

[Loveherbut]

I think because people who beling to older generations take realtionships seriously. I was having this mind set that i would meet my soul mate but i didn't i was single and ended up in bad realtionships believing they are my souldmets. I think there is no such thing like that i believe that you would meet people in certin time in ur life to help u in ur path or journey and thats it. But meating someone to spend the reat of ur life with is not souldmat its just someone who see u as something soecial and worth tp out an effort for thats whats laking these days.

[kakarotto]

Forsake all the options you layed down.
I will give you a real solution.
Working out and fasting.

[gobsmacked3]

i already work out- thought of meditation

[kakarotto]

Not just working out. As I said, working out + fasting.

[fanggirl5]

I have a guy friend who hasn't had sex in nearly 4 years. he is 25. A few girls hit on him and chase him, and he's not interested because he says they are not his type. Why after it being so long would he not fuck one of them? Low sex drive? Or just waiting for a nice girl?

[gobsmacked3]

not on his terms

[Prilee1992]

I vote for casual sex (well, it doesn't feel really good, you don't know the person very well.), & friends with benefits (good, but both parties have to know underlined rules). Prostitution is the worst, cause it really feels like masturbating with a fleshlight, but it's the FASTEST way to get laid, no b. s from women, no dating & dining shits whatsoever.

[Ghost513]

Here's what's up. I'm 23 and a virgin.

It's not that I haven't had opportunities to get laid. I have. It's just always been with people I don't know and frankly don't care about. That kind of sex is destructive.

At this point, I haven't had a date in 8 years. I've accepted that I'm going to be the real-life 40-year-old virgin. It sucks sometimes (most of the time) but it's all I know. At this point, it'd be better to stay a virgin and not need it than have sex and never be able to get it. Be like not getting a drug you're addicted to, y'know?

[Loveherbut]

Im on the same boat bro women are so fucked up these days to the point i dont want to have sex with them.

[Ghost513]

@Loveherbut Mhmm. Guys these days don't know how to be MEN, and likewise girls don't know how to be WOMEN. There are plenty of exceptions, but it still doesn't change the rule. Shit, if I found a woman who had a sliver of virtue, and actually wanted to DATE, as in have fun and get to know each other with an eye towards potential marriage, then yeah. But nowadays, dating is cheap and shallow. My name's Chad, I'm Sherry, blah blah blah do some lame things and fuck and then break up and do it all over again with someone else.

[Loveherbut]

I totally get it i met a woman and wanted to date her and actually was thinking about marriage then i found out that she is into drinking partying and she dates multiple men in the same time. So i said no thank you and moved on. I really thought she is different. But like what u said both genders are addicted to sex only they dont know how to have a real realtionship like people in the 70s 60s 50s had they were truly keepers.

[NJ_Casanova]

Good My Take, I agree with it all... BUT I've haven't had an issue with my friends with benefits arrangements. I think I've been lucky on that front and our ground rules cover things pretty well.

Women do have it a lot easier when it comes to anything dealing with sex (excluding pregnancy).

[gobsmacked3]

I have had three FWB's arrangement- all ended in nightmares :(

[PapersNorder]

I believe that something is inherently wrong if you go to this website at age 45 asking for help.. There is not enough experience even cumulative experience to answer your questions definitively. Having inner emotional pain and all that rot is crap. There's nothing wrong with wanting sex. Telling people to join a church group is laughable.
You need to find an outlet that is appropriate and okay with you and stick with it. If that means budgeting for a prostitute on a weekly or monthly basis so be it. A massage parlor, so be it. Decide what is convenient and acceptable to you. Do you live in a big city or small town. Big cities have pick up bars with available women for every fashion from prostitutes to horny middle-aged women to the lonely hearts club. But don't go once and if you don't score throw it away. Let people at a place like that get to know you. For that matter wherever you go let people get to know you. You cannot go to one place and think you gonna hit a homerun the first time. I believe my best advice is don't bounce from place to place looking for sex and then be disappointed when you don't get it immediately. And there is nothing wrong with prostitution. At the Marriott Marquis in many major cities go to the bar. Watch the people. You will soon spot the ones that work for money versus the ones that need men because they are horny. By the way all the advice I'm giving applies for both men or women. It is important to accept the fact that you're not the only person horny in the world. Finding that meeting place in your town is important and stick to it.
Equally important is deciding what kind of sex you want. You want a quickie, a quickie blow job an hour of companionship plus sex. Look your best be clean present a desirable image, don't go to church your age 45. You are not looking for marriage with kids. Google pick up bars and add your town or city. For that matter Google massage ball is in your town or city stick to it.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Get a bottle of lube, a Fleshlight, and a browser window open to your favorite porn site. No, it's not quite the same, but then, there's no drama, no stress, no hassle, no false accusations, no kids (that probably aren't yours anyway), no diseases, no divorce, no buying anything (except the initial investment, and more lube from time to time), never being told "Not in the mood" or "Have a headache" or any of that stupid shit they never say to thugs...

[Mysterio421]

Cougars always work too, but then again...

[abundantlyrich]

Your sexual needs are just a cover up for your deep seated pain.

[gobsmacked3]

do tell

[abundantlyrich]

They are always around

[abundantlyrich]

Your dead folks

[gobsmacked3]

and how does this effect my desire for sex

[abundantlyrich]

It doesn't, but you only see your pain but not what they are now.

[abundantlyrich]

Your pain came from the absence of them. That missing emotional building block you were supposed to get.

[gobsmacked3]

you have me confused

[MusicMayhem]

Me too I'm going be 28 in a few months and never had sex or even a girlfriend to cuddle with. It hurts really bad oftentimes. Worst part is others dismiss my need for female company and intimacy. They're like oh its not all its cracked out to be and gf's cost money. So what every social activity basically cost money.

[gobsmacked3]

Life is so tough without a Womans touch and it is not easy to get. For you not only have to find one you want to be with but also deal with your issues. in my case, broke up from a 22 year marriage, still very much in love with my ex wife but no chance of resolution. i do not want to be with another but still have sexual needs :(

[MusicMayhem]

Yeah after knowing someone so long how can you just move on. For me an added problem is when women find out i haven't had a girlfriend b4 they freak out and never speak again, assuming im a player or socially retarded. Its taken me 10-15 years to get over my social anxiety and im perfectly functional just like most people, but they won't see that.

[gobsmacked3]

Keep building yourself up and though it is hard do not take what others think of you to heart. Everyone lives life differently. Hugs to you, my brother

[MusicMayhem]

Well I now truly belive im an amazing person that is really fun, interesting, and caring and would make an awesome boyfriend. Only thing i can think of in improvement terms is to build more muscle even though im not lacking. Just to become really attractive physically so they stop caring that i haven't shoved my dick down a dozen vaginas.

[Loveherbut]

I understand

[sara_nour]

i just wanted to say you sounds adorable and i'm sure you are gonna find an awesome women like you#peace

[MusicMayhem]

@sara_nour Awww thanks thats very kind of you. I've actually improved my online dating skills heaps so I've got a few options atm. Wish I could feel confident enough approaching in real life, but its a work in progress.

[sara_nour]

when i don't feel confident , i create like a new identity and this person is bad ass and all it may help and exercise on people you will never have to see again

[MusicMayhem]

@sara_nour Well I'm confident most of the time. It's just hard to convince myself that my average looks don't factor into if a girl will want to chat with me when It's clear I want to speak with her so I can potentially date her.

[sara_nour]

well , try to look detached girls love it and kind of cocky. confidence is the hottest thing

[fuqthegovt]

I've been single for the past 11 years (got tired of women's bullshit). Jacking off to porn daily has been good enough to make the rest a relatively minor annoyance to live with.

[Phoenix98]

Sorry are you asking us for help or?

And I personally have no problem with abstinence even when tempted I've had no problem saying no.

Of course I workout 5 days a week and spend a large amount of time training in martial arts and fighting/sparring weekly so I'm sure that helps to physically exhaust me. Along side my other activities and hobbies, probably helps keep me occupied.

[gobsmacked3]

It is easy to Abstain when you are not used to it it be like if tomorrow you had no more work out- could you easily deal with the absence when it is so part of your life?

[Phoenix98]

I haven't worked out for 2 days this week lol and I'm doing just fine actually.

[aboomya]

I think the worst sexual frustration of all is when your with someone in a relationship who holds back on the intimacy making you feel un cared for or wanted and just posses u off the longer you go without the sex

[LoloWaye]

I don't care much for sex anymore. After some bad experiences I don't mind not doing it. The times I do feel really horny I just masturbate and I'm good!

[gobsmacked3]

good for you

[Scrambledagain]

But man, you talking legacy and social stigmas etc. if you are just horny and getting that fix, all those options are valid with little concern and Fwb's is probably best. But for a proper partner... that's a different story.

[Idontknowwhyy93]

I just don't care about sex. I guess it's different for males? Or just you?
I can live my whole life without sex if I wanted to. Its the companionship that I often long for. Even in casual relationships there lacks meaning and sex is pointless if you just don't trust the other person. I feel no physical pleasure in penetration but I enjoy sensual foreplay. A prostitute can't offer that. I mean i guess they could but it's not the same. I preoccupy myself with other things than sex. If you're depressed sex won't help.

[gobsmacked3]

You are the perfect example of Abstinence- all power to you

[Idontknowwhyy93]

I never enjoy sex anyway because of anxiety. I don't enjoy the moment I just think ahead and worry about our inevitable break up. I would get bored if I have to do it everyday and I assume they would also and inevitably cheat or get bored and leave.

[ArrowheadSW]

Yeah I tend to project into the future a lot also. I very much love sex though! I think the anxiety has kept me from getting into relationships though. But I do enjoy sex!!

[Idontknowwhyy93]

@ArrowheadSW well if you clear your thoughts it can be very enjoyable. But it's not a craving to me like OP says. Sex can be awesome but I'm not going to lower my standards and fuck anyone just because they're willing. Or go to prostitutes. Or be in a relationship just for sex.

[Loveherbut]

No sweetheart u r wrong all the women i met run from man to man just for sex and they won't wait for the man or wait to fall in love they will cheat lie just to have sex so dont put women like they are perfect

[Idontknowwhyy93]

@Loveherbut I wasn't putting all women. I was speaking for myself. Yes some women lie and cheat. Some men do too. Everyone is different. The whole all makes comment wasn't good on my part but later on established its just the OP

[CancerianMan81]

that's the problem with women cause they don't put trust in anything when In reality trust isn't given freely it's earned the same time and effort that you put into your job is the same time and effort you have to put in to the person that you love period there ain't no way around it being in a relationship is serious business but you can't tell you that to you women us men can come up with a million reasons why we want to be with you but if you women can't give us what we want then why should we bother to even get with you women if your always going to disappoint us you not only have to value yourselves but you have to value us men as well you don't think of yourselves when there's others involved I've seen to many of you women be selfish and it's getting out of hand and something needs to be fucking done about it cause I'm about to the end of MY ROPE on things

[CancerianMan81]

it just fucking kills me there's billions of you women and not one of you women gives a shit about being in a relationship I don't see one problem with me that the whole female gender race has to disregard me there's got to be something wrong with you women's thinking in order for that to happen how difficult is it for women to fall in love with one guy that's what I want to and it's not just me there are a lot of men saying the same thing to be honest with ya I don't know why this is happening and don't give that the fact is that you have had your heart broken by men in the past cause you women have played that out along with the whole "NICE GUY" theory in every attempted that us men have done you women have STONEWALLED us men into getting you women saying we are the reason why that we can't get with you women when us men can really see clearly why we can't get with you women is your attitude towards us men

[CancerianMan81]

Cancer Underneath the Cancer’s hard and protective shell lies a loyal, understanding and sweet being whose only wish is for people to return their affection. This is what usually upsets the Cancer; feeling unloved or unappreciated. You can always tell when a Cancer is angry because they’ll usually sulk around passive-aggressively. Don’t ignore their pleas, it will only hurt them more.

[Idontknowwhyy93]

@CancerianMan81 Those who don't put trust in people is often for good reason. I don't know your situation but again, you shouldn't generalize. I don't think all men lie and cheat. Its just the people I have encountered who do. I don't believe you should give up on women. I have been rejected, lied to, and cheated on but I'm not going to give up on men or relationships and neither should you.

[CancerianMan81]

but I'm coming at the end of MY ROPE

[Idontknowwhyy93]

@CancerianMan81 i don't follow astrological signs. Yes I'm sure men long to companionship and love as well. We're all humans with emotional needs

[Idontknowwhyy93]

@CancerianMan81 you shouldn't. I wish i could send you a video but i can't.

[Idontknowwhyy93]

@CancerianMan81 Go on YouTube and type " Mathew Hussey Done With Love" it's a video with great advice

[CancerianMan81]

well I think it's about time you start following astrological signs cause it is the characteristics for who we are from our zodiacs signs

[CancerianMan81]

bullshit though cause trust is demanded in a relationship cause that to me is not opening up about yourself

[CancerianMan81]

that tells me that that person has something to hide

[CancerianMan81]

if you can't be comfortable with who you are then how are you going to be comfortable with who I am cause what you mirror to yourself your going to mirror to other people

[CancerianMan81]

one thing and I'm just going to throw this out there every woman that I have come across on this website that the women that I have commented on has done nothing but stonewall me on every comment that I have made and they have been VALID POINTS and yet the women on this website has disregarded me for my comments

[Idontknowwhyy93]

@CancerianMan81 well because sometimes people get bored talking about the same subject and get fed up of going back and forth. I agree with you, a person should feel comfortable with themselves first before trying to form a relationship

[CancerianMan81]

it's not healthy not being comfortable with oneself it's not I can't understand why a person wouldn't be able to accept themselves cause their with their self all the time

[CancerianMan81]

to me I've always been selfless cause I wouldn't think of myself before others that's not saying that i don't that I don't care for myself acceptance through people is acceptance through self thinking of others is thinking of yourself but most people don't understand that

[CancerianMan81]

I just broke up with my girlfriend that didn't want to change to make herself better she wanted to be negative all the time and that's not something I can put up with cause those kind of people want to manipulate and control other people besides themselves they don't have no control whatsoever for their selves I have to much self respect for myself to put up with something like that

[CancerianMan81]

it's inconceivable to be selfish with oneself cause your robbing yourself of the one thing that you want most it's a fool's errand

[CancerianMan81]

I know being a cancer myself that I am passive-aggressive and I do try to control other people but to me I only do it cause I want whats best for people I don't do it by discrediting people I do it cause I want people to be a better version of themselves I don't know if you want to call that controlling people and trying to change them I don't think it is to me that's trying to empower someone and it should rightly be so

[CancerianMan81]

that to me it disciplining someone that right there shows that you really care for someone

[John_Doesnt]

A hooker is the best option.

[sp33d]

Wouldn't recommend #5 for someone wet behind the ears.