Why do I feel guilty about having a diaper fetish? When I did not choose to have it?

I have always had this fetish, from age 4 on. I grew up knowing that I had to be the only one on earth who was so strange. I mean, who would ever want to like diapers? I used to cry by myself in my room, thinking I was crazy. I felt so alone and afraid. I looked everywhere for a solution. I must have read hundreds of psychology books trying to understand why? I felt ashamed, angry, confused and cheated out of being a normal person. I finally found a reference to my fetish in John Money's book "Love Maps". I must have read those few paragraphs a million times! I was around 12 years old. I found out it was a paraphilia, which cannot be changed. It is hard wired from the time I was a baby. I won't go into my entire struggle right now as I just wanted to give a little background before I asked my question. What I want to know is why I have to feel so bad about having this stupid diaper fetish. I would have done anything, anything humanly possible to just be normal like everyone else. I had to feel like a freak all through my childhood. I carry this huge feeling of injustice inside. How could this be my fault? I was a baby when this fetish was permanatly implanted in my mind. I guess I just want to be understood a little. I never share this with anyone in the real world. But it is horrible to always keep this inside with nobody to talk to about it. I always get a little hurt when I read other peoples hateful rants about anybody who has this affliction. Actually, I feel a lot of pain. Please tell me what am I supposed to do about it? Every psychologist I have asked said it is not realistic to change a fetish. They just say that I need to learn to accept it and learn to let go of my guilt and shame. Kinda hard to let go when people are so negative about it. How can I be happy with who I am? I apologize for my long self absorbed post. I don't like to whine like this! But I needed to get some of this off my chest. Thank you for your time.
Updates:
+1 y
I am more into the embarrassment of them. No baby talk, it's not my thing
+1 y
How do I gain the confidence to tell someone about this? I should say I am only excited by this when I am excited. And I have fantasies about being dominated and made to wear diapers as a punishment. But after I cum I feel ashamed or embarrassed that I get so excited by this. Why? Why is this my turn on? It really sucks!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I am exactly how you describe yourself, to a tee!
    I feel the same way about diapers and the embarrassment factor as well.
    Same as you, but since the age of 5.

    I was always ashamed of my fetish, and for a long time always felt like a freak or pervert for being aroused by diapers. I thought I was the only one in the world who had these desires. It was way before the internet, and the only info I ever saw on the subject came from Forum magazine (porn mag) back in the early 80's.

    When I was 14, shortly after moving from the south to the north, I met another boy who was also 14 at the time, who also had a diaper fetish. (long story).

    Now with the internet, it hardly seems impossible not to find info on diaper fetishism.
    However, when I was 14 years old, in a million years I would've never, ever, expected to meet someone who shared this strange, unusual, creepy fetish, that I had felt so embarrassed, and ashamed over for many years.

    • Thank you for your comments, I am always happy to hear I'm in good company! Take care and I wish you all the best!

  • You need to step back, take a deep breath, and relax. Just breathe. Fetishes come in every conceivable flavor and yours is not unusual. It's more common than you could ever imagine. You need not be ashamed. Your job is to find a woman you really have chemistry with and at some point early in your sexual relationship, take her out for an intimate drink, away from the sex, and talk to her about her kinks and fetishes and dark fantasies. Then share yours. If she goes screaming from the room, a very low probability, then she's not the right one. I think you'll be surprised how open minded she is about thing sexual.

    • Thank you for your advise, and compassion. It means a lot to hear something positive, maybe there is hope.

    • There's no need for hope. Just optimism for the great time that will be had by all when you're with the right lady.

    • I am a little shy, I have little practice at this. But I am learning. It sounds easy enough, nothing to lose. I am getting more confidence as I get older.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • I'm not sure if I could handle someone who wore them all the time, or did #2 in their diaper, but I have watched some amateur videos of guys peeing and cumming in their diapers. It doesn't really bother, it may even turn me on a smidgen. But I am definitely not a fan of baby talk. Sorry if that's a thing you are in to.
    I'd try checking out Fetlife. You can find all sorts of people on their with all kinds of kinks and fetishes. I wouldn't be surprised if you found someone that's in to what you're into too! Hang in there :)

    • So you don't care about if a guy likes diapers? 🙂

  • Hey, first of all I commend you for your honesty about everything. I don't think you need to say that you are not "normal" I mean honestly who is "normal" nowadays? I'm not entirely sure what you wanted to hear, but please rest assured that not everyone will respond with horrible comments, but I understand how cruel and hurtful people can be. I'm none the wiser of what a diaper fetish entails. But I hope one day it's not going to consume you, don't define yourself as your Fetish, each to their own in my opinion. Take care.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 4
  • It's ground in that anything that differs even slightly from "the norm" is wrong and the such.
    However it's different people's loves and hates that add to the diversity in society.
    Many people shun what they don't understand
    don't feel ashamed bud, embrace what ya like and be happy ^_^

    • That is so true! I often think about that. It has made me a very non- judgmental person about everyone else's quirks. Because I understand how it feels to be the freak. And I feel I must do my best to make them comfortable around me. Deep down I think about what I'd feel in their place. And all I ever want in return is that same understanding. But I never reveal it to anyone.

    • I am getting older, but my job keeps me in pretty good shape. And I feel the same as in my 20's. I am very flexible. lol But I get your point, and it makes sense. It's good to be aware that time waits for no one. That being said I do keep in shape sexually as well. I use my tool everyday pretty much, maybe it's not normal. But I have had that habit for a long time. It never seems to get too boring to play with myself. But I'd much rather have a partner. But I do what I must to relieve the need.

  • I'm the same, I would suggest just going with the flow (pardon the pun) and enjoy it,,,

  • Everything you said sounds just like me. I have tried getting away from the fetish but couldn't. But I decided to embrace my fetish, it's what makes me, me. Like it or not their a part of my life and I have grown to love wearing more and more. If you can't beat it, join it. You're not alone.

  • I honestly feel the same. I love it.

  • Don't worry dude. I have the same condition as you. In my mind, it isn't bad if you don't think about under-aged people, specifically with this fetish, and not thinking of a baby, but an adult in it. Age-play is legal, but it just weirds me out, as it is too close to pedophilia.