Sexual Relationships
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I want my boyfriend to call me a Slut/ Whore and disrespect me but he doesn't even react when I disrespect him during sex?

I know this sounds fucked up lol. Basically it's a turn on for me and I want him to be sexist and call me bad names during sex but he doesn't. I know he hates the sight of slutty chicks and he always tells me to watch out for girls like this so they dont influence me. I dont know if im dressing like this because I like the idea that he gets angry at me but I've been thinking about this for a while.

He dislikes any type of slutty clothing and because of this I've recently been wearing this type of clothing. He seems shocked but doesn't say I look like a slüt like my freinds or whatever. During sex I cuss him but he doesn't cuss back he just talks dirty. I dont know how to get him to disrespect me like I want him to say something like im using you for my own pleasure you know?

I know I sound bad but im such a nice girl to him but im a bitch in bed so why doeant he insult me back. After where done and im not horny anymore I feel very guilty because I can see he's a little surprised maybe hiding his feelings so he goes all quiet afterwards I just feel if we both participated it would feel more like a game then something actually disrespectful.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • That's a really common fantasy, so don't worry that you're bad for wanting to be called those names. I was having the same issue with my boyfriend - I liked being called slutty names and hearing that he was using me as it made me really horny, but he was hesitant and a little uncomfortable with it. He's an amazing guy and would never, ever say anything bad about me which is why he struggled with it at first, but I kept asking him to help me get off faster and eventually he started to enjoy it!

    What you need to do is find the right buttons to push. Your boyfriend might think of you as a classy good girl and doesn't want to ruin that image by being dominant with you in bed, or maybe he's uncomfortable with talking to you like you're a slut. I'd stop with the slutty clothes because that sounds like it turns him off. What you should do, maybe one day before having sex, is masturbate in front of him while saying things like, "Omg babe, I love when you call me a naughty slut... I'm so wet just thinking about it" and "I want to hear you tell me you want to use my body! Please baby" and see if that makes a difference. He should see how turned on you're getting and realize that those words really do help you get off.

    I feel guilty afterwards, too. It's weird because the orgasm is so strong and then suddenly there's this major guilt from out of nowhere... I've learned to ignore that, though. The best thing you can do to make you both feel better is curl up next to him and hug and kiss a little.

    • Damn your exactly like me guilty after intense orgasm lol. Thanks for the advice im going to tell him to say certain words hopefully he does realise its effect maybe I'll even exaggerate its effect to encourage him. Wish me luck. And Thank you :-).

    • Good luck!! :)

  • No matter how much you disrespect him or wear slutty clothes, I doubt he'd ever clue in to that you want him to call you a slut or some variation of that.

    He's taking the apparel as more of a show for him. Why don't you just tell him that you'd like to try dirty talk, then give him calling you a slut/whore as an example of what sort you'd like best?

  • Just tell him how much you like rough sex. Make him know that calling bad names, intense grabbing and hard slapping it's a huge turn on for you. If he doesn't like the idea tell him it's just a role play and how much it gets you wild. To cheer him up give him a sirprise like a blowjob in a risky place or a lapdance.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Have you laid it all out as clearly to him (this was a great job of concisely describing the problem and we see TONS of terrible writing on GAG)? Have you shared with him very specific and explicit examples of what you need? It sounds like this is going to be a process that will evolve over time. Just out of curiosity, are you kinky? Is he?

    • Thanks. Im kinky but not sure if he is. Wouldn't it be awkward if I say I want you to say this and that in bed?

    • It'll a whole lot less awkward that the nasty break up because you didn't when maybe there's a long run of sound bare bottom spankings in the deal for the slut!! Her's a link to a Take I wrote that may help:

      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex

  • It always amazes me that people can say everything to the whole wide world and not to the person that needs to hear it.

    As advise I can tell you this. Things that people like to do, see, hear and say in real life can be totally different when they are in the bedroom.

    Just say it to him.

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What Girls & Guys Said

6 15

  • My boyfriend is the same way. He says he never wants to disrespect me in the way because 1. It's not true & 2. We're making love so we should be loving and sweet to eachother. Maybe your man is the same way.

  • Instead of asking him to disrespect you, ask him if he would want to be very dominant. And emphasize the ''very''. If he agrees to that, then during sex try to label him as something again and see if he calls you a slut this time.

  • I dunno, is this really that rare? I thought 90% of women were into this type of shit to some extent. In fact I remember a girl who I don't really speak to anymore once told me she got turned on when guys yelled at her over something she did that pissed them off, so...

    Anyway you're being kinda selfish to the guy to be honest. He OBVIOUSLY isn't the kind of person you think he is sexually, so please stop trying to force your degradation fetishes onto him, he obviously wants more loving sex.

    • Amen

  • 1 word: communication

  • How about actually telling him that you want him to "disrespect" you in bed? What made you think it was a good idea to cuss him out in hopes of him returning the favor, rather than actually telling him what you want?

    And you better be careful as well, because your "disrespect" in the bed room seems like its taking an emotional toll on your boyfriend.

  • I guess you have to be open to stuff like sime guys may find it intimidating to do this or weird communication is key here i started this with my gurl now she love when i grab her buy the back of her hair and make her call her self names like whos daddys little slut or whore what ever she feels like try calling yourself in the middle of sex say you like this dirty slut dont you see what he says lol or you like this fuck whore 🙊🙉🙈

  • Have you told him to do it? He probably doesn't know

  • The actual disrespect won't happen during sex like you imagine it. That's played and in the rush of the moment. What you provoke with your clothes and behaviour is confusion and disappointment.

    Just talk to him.

  • This is very common. You're what's called a masochist. It's what the M stands for in BDSM and S&M.

    Also, he might be thinking that you're cussing him out because THAT'S what turns you on. At least that's what I'd be thinking.

  • You should get another boyfriend. Damn, I would love a girl with your description! It turns me on to say such things to a woman, and I'm sure there are other guys who feel the same way.

  • Maybe he is not that much into it, and he is not saying anything because he loves you, but sounds like he is tolerating you a lot.

  • Just stop doing it if he doesn't like it, and don't expect him to do something any gentleman wouldn't do.

  • Tell him to say that just to try it once, and when he says it become very enthusiastic. Or remind him of a time when he was close to what you want and tell him that it was the best. Don't ask him to be someone he isn't, just help him discover a part of him (if he has it). When he makes efforts to do what you like, tell him that you love him after

  • Start by saying what you want to hear. "I'm your "F" toy" Then have him repeat it by sating "what am I?" Maybe he'll get the hint without you having to tell him "I want you to call me a Slut/ Whore"

    • Ahh I can't belive I haven't thought of that thanks anonymous. :-).

  • Yeah dude I couldn't do it either. I'll say like "porn words" like fuck, ass, tits, and stuff like that but I'm not into calling a woman a slut/whore. Unless I'm actually with a whore that is; which is quite infrequent.

  • Find a different boyfriend.

  • Because hi's nice😀

  • I understand this need completely in every way at the moment I'm try to get my man to do me the same way

  • I'm sorry you feel like you deserve that sort of attention

  • babe tell him to shut the fuck up and tell him that you are a slut and slap him to make him mad and go all mad at you and he will start fucking you like mad

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