Woah, guys, calm the fuck down and take it easy!
Okay, look, maybe you didn't get the memo on men in high school, or college, or after college. Fine, that happens some times. Maybe try going on the Internet, or watching some TV, or socializing with men (and maybe escaping the female sub-culture for a little bit, and maybe trying to immerse yourself into the male sub-culture for a bit).
Usually (and your man sounds like the "usual" case), men "want" sex. As a lawyer, I'm very careful and particular with words. Men don't just "like" sex, or enjoy "having sex," they "want" sex (from a woman, to be more specific).
"Want" (i. e., Old English, "a desire for what one lacks." e. g., "A successful man is one that's so rich, he wants for nothing material. A successful woman is one who finds such a man.").
Men aren't after "vaginal penetration" or a blowjob or hand job, performed in the kind of silence only a ninja would envy.
Men "want" FEMALE SEXUALITY.. FEMININITY
They don't have it. They're men. They're crave female sexuality and femininity. It compliments and feeds their masculine energy, which will in turn compliment and feed the woman's feminine energy (and create a positive cycle). If a guy doesn't have that, he's going to temporarily be frustrated and unhappy until he either: (a) get angry, or (b) gets depressed. If he gets angry, then he's going to leave or cheat. If he gets depressed, then he's just going to throw in the towel, mentally check out of his relationship (but feel trapped like a prisoner), and he's going to start gaining weight and his testosterone levels will go down.
An "over-reaction"? I don't think it's an over-reaction. Are you being a shit "wife"? I don't know. Maybe you're fantastic in all other aspects of your marriage and relationship. But, if you were to be single today and start dating men with complete knowledge of how "sexually satisfied" your life-long male partner was in a relationship with you, 10 years later, you'd still be single. That's all I'm saying. Make what you will from that.
Unfortunately, you can't "teach" a woman to be a slut. A woman either has it in her or she doesn't. Sounds like it's a perfect time for you to both find a couple's therapist so he can get some help with coping with how he's going to continue to exist and find happiness in this relationship.
While I want what he wants, as I believe the vast majority of men do, he bears some responsibility here. There's a slut in every girl. Her man's job is to let her out to play. He clearly didn't do that and now he wants to guilt trip you? I don't think so. He needs to tell you what he wants but in a calm, direct, matter of fact way without any accusations or recriminations.
You're not being a shit wife but neither is he overreacting in his eyes. You're bombarded, as are all of us, with images of sexy women all the time. You walk by Victoria's Secret in the mall all the time. Didn't you ever wonder how it would feel to wear a TLN (Trashy Little Nothing) and what his reaction would be? I'm betting when you were single and dating him, you wore sexy little numbers. So get that sweet booty down to the mall and ask the sales clerks to help you get sexy. Also, don't forget the single sexiest thing a woman can wear: a pair of bright red stiletto pumps with 4+" heels, pointed closed toes, and no platform. When you wear them with you TLN, don't walk, strut. Play the vamp. Entice and seduce him. He's your husband. It's okay. Hell, it's biblical.
As for swallowing, that's something almost every man wants from his lady. For me, my cum is a precious gift and when I cum in her mouth, if she does anything besides swallowing, I feel disrespected.
Another idea: do you ever engage in role play sex?
Honestly I never wore lingerie when we were dating. I've never even owned lingerie. And I don't own a pair of heels nor can I walk in them. I'm not exactly a girly girl. Nor do I pretend that I'm overtly sexual or anything like that. I'm pretty plain, a plain Jane if you will. We've never tried role play.
I bet you wore outfits that made you look good and to some degree sexy when you were dating. I wasn't talking about lingerie. I doubt you're Plain Jane looking. You just never were taught the importance of looking sexy for your guy. I feel like maybe you need to get a VS catalog. Tell him you heard him and are thinking about getting some lingerie. No promises but you'd like him to look at the catalog and mark the things he likes.
You'll have to practice but trust me--those heels will make you look yummy.
I also feel like you need to have some conversations about your sex life:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex
Is sex fun for you or is it just sex? Are you playful about it?
I guess I don't really know what it means to be playful when it comes to sex...
I don't think either. I think he is reaching out to you to tell you he wants more from you. Listen. Discuss. You don't have to be a prude, he is your husband. Men like to be daring with sex. Some men just get mad because the wife doesn't do anything, but yet they won't talk to her about it. He is telling you something. You don't have to be an out right slutty person. This is the person you love, and trust. Trust him, open up to him and try new experiences. These actions pay off with big rewards, you learn and grow together. Just take one thing new at a time, and see what it leads to, best of luck
You're not being a shit wife. However, it's very important to listen to what your partner tells you. Your partner decided open up in order to tell that you do not fully satisfy him. He did it in a rude way, but I am sure you can move past it.
Anyway, are you not comfortable enough to do the stuff he requested you to do? If yes, then you should tell him that.
Do you receive pleasure from the act? I mean, is he making you comfortable during the act? Is it enjoyable for you?
Maybe he makes you feel stressed or uncomfortable and as a result you refuse to show him your kinky side.
What's wrong with moaning, wearing lingerie or swallowing? Since when does that make you a slut?
I think he just finds you bland and is using the term to inspire you to maybe consider his pleasure a bit more. Y'all ought to keep things from getting dull.
Eventually you gonna want something new on the menu amirite?
@Toad-1 Yup.
Well at least the two of you are talking about it. That's a start. Why don't you moan, wear lingerie and swallow then. You might want to add "dirty talk" to the list because guys like that too. Let yourself have fun. Enjoy yourself.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Slow way down! You are not a "shit wife". Asking you to be a slut in bed isn't asking you to be like a slut in the street. That's just dirty and nasty. You said you can be a prude in bed. That explains a lot. Understand that by saying that, I'm not saying anything bad about you. If you were the kind of wife you describe, you wouldn't be here asking a question that is quite tough for you to ask. I'd have no problem if I had a wife like you. Instead of criticizing you and making you think it's your problem, I would make sure you knew I wasn't doing those things while I explained what I meant. He was very cruel to you. If you want to know more, private message me. I don't like to go back and forth on things like this in the public part of the site. If you don't feel comfortable with that, I fully understand. I just don't like being a little graphic in the public part because there are so many young teen age girls that read this stuff. I would like to help you.
He directly said not "slutty enough"? Yikes.
No, you aren't the issue.
I mean , enjoy. Let yourself enjoy. But it should be honest, not an act.
no you aren't being a shit wife
he should probably find a better way to express his desires
a healthy sexual relationship does require communication about each person's desires, needs, etc. it also means respecting each other. he needs to find a better way to communicate what he wants but you should be open to hearing what he wants and then simply explaining what you may be open to and what you are not
So you're a dead fish. You don't wanna appear sexy for him. You don't swallow but at least you put it in yoir mouth so you at least have that going for you. So basically what I see is you aren't even putting in any effort into having a nice sex life with him and that must annoy him that you don't seem to care
That's wrong
@Touchmehxx no, her deciding to not even try to do any of the things he'd like is wrong. It'd be different if he wants d her to wear leather cat suits and get whipped. But she's not even willing to wear something sexy for him or even moan? Those are such simple things and she's not even putting effort into it
They might not be simple for her. Such as cat suits etc are not simple for most people. Everyone's different
He wants you to be more into sex and do nastier things and act more like a hoe. It's like that phrase 'A lady in the streets but a freak in the bed'. But you'd have to ask him what he wants you to do. I don't think anyone on here could answer that for you.
he wants you to be freakier
She shouldn't have to tho
@Touchmehxx but she's not even putting in effort which I think is what is probably making her husband upset.
@kittycat119 so just because she doesn't swallow, which may be a limit for her sexually and she may be uncomfortable with it, means she's not putting in effort. K
Just tell him he is not good enough to warrant it. Honestly it is up to you how you want to approach sex and if you dont feel like moaning then that is that. End of story.
Only change if you want to change. Do not feel pressured into it by him and if he continues to try force the issue then honestly you might be better without him because that is disrespectful as fuck.
So basically you dead fish in bed.
That's fun 😂😂😂💀
It means you're not as willing as he'd like you to be willing.
Considering you claim that wanting to have sex somehow makes you an "outright slut", I think he's onto something.
That's not what I claimed at all.
you know how they say, "a lady in the streets, but a freak in the sheets"
he'd like it if you unleash your inner animal
it will bring much needed balance in life
Playing Devil's Advocate here, but why don't you moan, wear lingerie, or swallow? Most men want someone with visual and verbal excitement in the bedroom. Perhaps he should have been a bit more tactful.
I'm not sure why I don't moan I just never feel the urge? I don't wear lingerie because I don't own any. I'm shy and I'm plain... so buying it would be kinda awkward for me personally. And I don't swallow because... I don't know. I don't have an answer for that.
A girl who is really into it during sex is a huge turn on. Contrast with the girl who just lies there not moving or making a sound.
Means he is bored with you... He doesn't like the sex with you...
It also means you need to step up your game
he is being disrespectful
Spice things up
Sit down with him and write on a piece of paper what both of you like doing and have an honest talk about them. Write down yoir turn ons and explore it maybe on a weekly basis. Im no expert but assertive communication is always a good thing, so is sexual exploration.
And before any female attacks me, im not telling her she HAS TO do any of these things, but keeping both partners happy os obviously key to a happy relationship.
You're not a shit wife. No one is not slutty enough. You shouldn't have to change for him, he should accept you
Oh I'm sure you have a naughty side that you can bring out.
no it means
you are not vocal enough
fuck my slut pussy
im your fuck toy use me
stuff like that
your a shit wife,
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