Boyfriend is forceful during oral sex and choking me?

yesterday he choked me when I was on top of him which i found weird, it was hard like i could not breath.
We had sex again after and he was forcing my head on my penis, I tried to come up but he was forcing it down, I literally could not breath. He has done this several times but it is starting to get on my nerves,
his problem is he watches so much porn so he thinks these things are normal, his actual personality is nothing like his sexual one, he is kind and would never hit a female or anything like that and treats me really well.
but the sexual side of him I do not like, he has even woke me up before to have sex with him, once he puled me by the arm and put me on his penis then turned me around banged me and left, he was drunk and we had an argument

does he even respect me? he is 25 im 27
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Being submissive is fine, most women are submissive. You need to be more assertive and stand up for yourself. It's okay be be assertive and to stand up for yourself. Speak up and let him know that you don't like to be choked or to have a hard cock forced down your throat. Maybe you will someday after lots and lots of practice done at your own pace (if at all), but not right now and certainly not when done with force! If he can't respect that, then dump him.

  • He sounds like he is into bdsm ask him! Chances are he likes the thrill, bdsm has boundaries and you then have a safe word. discuss this with him then if he puts the hold around your neck and it's to much use your safe word, also he might be trying to get you to have intense orgasms as the restrictions will give you a more intense orgasm. Communication is important here as you don't need to feel so afraid.

  • Respect is the equivalent of admiring someone, or possessing a deep sense of admiration for qualities/skills they possess. So sure, I don't think anything that he's done thus far would by default negate him having respect for you.

    Have you ever actually told him that he doesn't like what he does in bed, when he's overly forceful/aggressive and such?

Most Helpful Guys

  • I don't think it's about respect, I think he's just an idiot. he doesn't understand that most women don't like gagging, and he also needs to be set straight.
    everyone needs to be put in there place on occasion. sounds like he's about to have that occasion soon.

  • You really, really need to talk to him and find a compromise.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex

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What Girls & Guys Said

11 8
  • Tell him to stop, and if he doesn't leave him.

  • I would talk to him about it and if it doesn't change, cut him loose! You don't want this behavior to escalate. Good luck to you

  • Tell him you don't like it and aren't into it. Some people like that

  • Why can't you just tell him you don't like being choked?

  • tell him to stop that shit already. why u allowed it to happen more than once is beyond me. he probably thinks it's OK since you haven't stopped him.

  • Have you talked to him about this?

  • he's just a dominant guy that gets turned when you choke on his d**k - no big deal. you will get used to it with more practice

  • ya that's a porn addiction

  • being forceful during oral sex doesn't mean he doesn't respect you..

  • Hmm. I rlly think you should speak to him about that. I know that when guys get turned on they can get alittle out of hand... but that's not okay. Definitely speak to him and if he won't except it... "Bye-bye"

    Good luck :3

  • It's not about respect.

    That sort of sex turns some people on more

    That's all there is to it.

  • You have teeth use them.

  • He will kill you with his dick

  • Some people like to have rough sex and you're not one of them. You guys should talk about how you both can comprise to where he and you can enjoy sex. Maybe spanking? He is an asshole about it but you guys need to talk about that

  • He probably does, but the porn is so ingrained in his mind that he just thinks it's normal, you need to cut him off from it and get him some help because the possibility of this situation turning towards abuse is VERY high

  • Talk to him about it, not us.

  • does he hurt you?

  • Yeah you need to lay down the law... you are not okay with the way he treats you sexually and it needs to stop. I'd tell him I'm not giving him head for awhile because he attempts to choke me with it and he needs to know that's okay. that I like giving him pleasure but not at my own expense.

  • Clearly not. if he's being that forceful