Should I be worried if my relationship with my boyfriend majorly involves sex and not the other things as much?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I were each other's first sexual partners and we both love sex. While the sex is great but I realized that we don't do those cute things that other couples do like saying 'I love you' or doing romantic gestures to each other. Sex is the first thing on his mind when we meet. Though we talk a lot after the sex and love each other's company. Also he's hinted many times that he won't be marrying because of different culture and expectations of his family or because I lack the libido compared to him and am not as much good in bed as pornstars (he says he passionate about porn) and wants to try different things (maybe hinting at trying sex with other girls) for example a threesome. I don't mind much because it's too early for me think about marriage. He has told that he will be with me forever (married or not) and can not see me with anyone else ( we're both quite jealous type partners but he talks to the girls that he's attracted towards and I think it is OK as long as he doesn't replace me?). Should I be worried in any case? Does everything seem fine? Am I over thinking?

[AskAlthea]

If you are happy with your relationship, then things are okay. Every relationship is different, if you guys aren't romantics, then you guys not doing romantic things for each other is okay, as long as you are both happy. After sex, do you guys talk about other things, or just sex. I would only be concerned if all you guys ever did revolved around sex (if you aren't having sex, you guys are talking about sex). If you guys talk about other things, then I don't think you should be concerned. It's a relationship that you're enjoying, and it's not like you're expecting marriage so don't overthink it and just enjoy.

Not super important, but I would like to just point out one thing though, if he says he could not see you with anyone else but will be with you forever, what happens if you guys aren't together? So imagine years into the future, the two of you are no longer a couple and are merely just friends, if he is unable to see you with someone else, then does that mean you'll stay single? Granted, it's likely he will change his mind on being unable to see you with anyone else if you guys become simply friends at some point in the future, but just wanted to point that out.

[Asker]

he said it in the moment. don't know where future will take us but as long as we are together, he's going to take care of me

[AskAlthea]

Awww, it sounds like he really cares for you. As long as the entire relationship isn't based around sex, I wouldn't be worried for your relationship. It does sound though, that even if all you guys have in common is sex, that if the relationship ends, you guys will probably still be friends since it seems he cares for you as a person.

[Asker]

yeah I'm considering myself lucky. i just want him to think that I'm the one for him

[AskAlthea]

I was going to ask if you wanted me to be honest with you, and then I realized, I have a policy on here to I speak my mind, so I'm going to do so. I'm not saying any of this with the intention to hurt you. You might not want to think that you are "the one" for him, at least not yet. It does seem he has unrealistic expectations when it comes to sex ("not as much good in bed as pornstars") and if your libidos don't match up, that could be problematic ("I lack the libido compared to him"). You are both the jealous type, are you going to be okay bringing a female in for a threesome? Not judging or anything, just asking to make sure you are 100% okay with that. I think you shouldn't really have expectations of being "the one" for him, it's too early to think about that. I think he will always remember you fondly regardless if this works out long term or not. He likely isn't thinking you are "THE one" but probably thinks you are the one who's right for him in this present moment.

[AskAlthea]

I agree that you are lucky, to be happy in your relationship with someone who cares about you and happy with your sex life. It's just seeing you say, "i just want him to think that I'm the one for him", made me worry that maybe you have expectations that might not be fulfilled right now.

[Asker]

wow thanks that's an eye opener

[AskAlthea]

Yay! I'm happy you weren't offended by my blunt honesty. :) I really did not want to offend, I think if you have no long term expectations then you're in a pretty good place right now and should just enjoy it and take it one day at a time, see what happens.

[Paris13]

The Writing on the Wall and All is Telling me the majority of the Time is Spent in Bed having Sex Here, dear, Doing a "He said, She said" Scenerio Situation, but I do Not see with Thee, anything to do with even Going Out and Having any Fun, hun.
If this is the Case, the only time you Both will Be Nursing and Nurturing any kind of Remote Relationship, is Between the Sheets.
Suggest getting Out once a week, at Least, to See if One day, you are Both... Marriage Material.
When the Sex wears Off, where Would you see yourselves 30 Years, down the Road, with no more Over Load?
Good Luck. xx

[narange]

I believe you should tall to him about that cause only having sex relation and no comfortable relationship is hard. I don't think fine, Do u feel comfortable? And no you are not over thinking you want to know what's right or what's wrong.

[Tat2Tnt]

I would definitely keep your eyes open. if he is already saying or hinting around that he is not fully satisfied with you, then there's a good chance he may seek it somewhere else. One thing you could do yourself is too experiment with him. Seriously watch some open with him, you may be surprised at how much it turns you on. Just remember, don't go in thinking it's gross and also remember he's not a pornstar so I wouldn't be expecting him to be doing all the master level 99 things you may see.

[user0]

it's not a problem if you're ok with it and enjoying things.

but I've had past relationships turn into mostly sexual ones. they tend to end suddenly when one person makes a connection with someone new, which then turns sexual and replaces the other. in other words, this is the beginning of the end.

[AustinMan]

Have you tried talking to him about it?

[Asker]

yeah... he always denies

[AustinMan]

To get him to be honest requires that you talk to him in a calm, direct, matter of fact way, much like a business meeting:

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex

[Stockton]

every relationship is different. does this one make you Happy? if so cool if not, time for a change

[LastNightmare]

nope

[Anonymous]

Honestly, no. He seems overly obsessed with pornstars and he doesn't think you will be together in the long run. You are wasting your time with him