Dual Nature of women: Never let a girl make you wait for sex!

[Anonymous]

Men are generally less discriminating when it comes to hooking up. They have standards of course but they generally have lower standards than women do.

Out of 100 women the typical man might be open to the idea of hooking up with 40 of them.

Out of 100 men, the typical woman might be open to DATING 40 of them, but she will only have casual sex with maybe 10 of them.

Girls rarely hookup with guys who are less attractive than them. Girls are only willing to compromise on looks for relationships.

Contrary to the notion of sluts having low standards, they commonly have HIGHER standards when hooking up.

For example, read what this girl has to say about her hookups..

My one night stands were with HOT men; men that I would have considered out of my league... When it came to hooking up, my partners prerequisite were higher; at least superficially, than those I deemed necessary in a man I was dating. Seems weird to see that admission in type but quite frankly my criteria for a man I had a one night stand with were all superficially higher; looks, swag, attitude, dress, etc. When dating, the qualities in the men I sought dealt more with depth of character and intellect. Source:

https://dirtyinpublic.com/index.php/926/casual-sex-equally-desired-notable-gender-gap/

In other words if a girl has casual sex with you then she actually physically desires and lusts for you.

If a girl wants you for a relationship chances are she doesn't see you as much of a lover. I.E. Someone she really lust after.

While she will have sex with you, she sees you more of a companion she can share her feelings and time with, and possibly look to the future in helping raise kids.

Guys who fall into the LTR category are more likely to be less physically desired and it is one of reasons why many girls today actually cheat on their boyfriends with guys who get casual sex and then run back to their boyfriend without him ever knowing.

From a Mytake owner of "Girls in tinder have sex alot" a student in sexology

Girls on Tinder have SEX a lot

She states:

It's also something I noticed that "porn style sex" occurs on these casual encounters and women seem to enjoy that but many don't feel comfortable doing that with a long term partner.

There's the saying, it's pretty misogynistic but also holds some truth, "girls want to be treated like a princess and fucked like a slut". The thing is that is hard to form these two contradicting bonds with one partner. That's why we often see women giving it up for some guys who treat them like "sluts" and have crazy sex in no time, but take a while to put out with a serious partner. ."

The age range of people we questioned anonymously was 18 to 40. There seem to be a lot of single mothers but, apparently also married women ! who use tinder to have casual sex.

The number of women cheating however (this is also discovered through other researches) is also increasing VERY fast, and it is becoming less and less taboo, which in my eyes is a little shocking.

So from this we see women really want to have sex with guys they are actually physically attracted to but at same time these guys do not offer companionship that women want also and often make them feel liked used up sluts. In short, girls want to be treated special, loved and have companionship but at same time they have conflict in associating a raw, fiery desire to the men who offer these things to them.

In the above study "Girls on tinder have sex a lot" It was reported that many girls have casual sex using the app, but only a small percentage of men were having a lot of casual sex while using app.

Men who fit these description:

"Muscular, relaxed, and well endowned"

Another study was done where a dude pretended to be an attractive guy and an average guy and talked to some girls via text.

In one profile the guy was average looking, generally kind to women, being himself and was basically a straight up gentlemen. Many of the girls faind a good girl act saying "they don't do hookups", "only looking for serious relationship", and so forth. Some were kind,a nd put on a good girl act and acted like they never do anything slutty.

In another profile the guy was really hot, and demanding of sex. Told the girls they need to message him, and treated girls like they were garbage. The same girls who were acting like "saints" to the average profile were basically sending nude pics, talking about how they wanted to suck him off, sending flirty text, asking for Skype sex, and wanting to hook up immediate.

Link:https://cf.girlsaskguys.com/q1778900/ce27cc60-0c33-4bb2-94dd-c1d566878dc9.jpg

This is further supported in another study which stated the most attractive guys tend to have the most amount of sexual partners. While suprsiingly the most attractive girls tend to have the least amount of sexual partners. This could be attributed to many guys being too timid to approach or assuming the hot girl is already taken so they don't bother approaching.

So the bleak picture for men is this:

guys who are in the 8-10 range of attractiveness who are confident and fun are the ones getting most of the casual sex. They are the most successful on tinder and are often the guys who will be seeing multiple girls at the same time. The thing is they are less discriminating and often sleep with girls below their league (girls in the 5-7 range) to get easy sex and then settle down with an 8-10/10 girl or a girl who hasn’t slept around.

The average guys get stuck committing to the average looking girls that none of the players wanted.

Also he generally has to wait months for the sex the players got right away. It’s like a trade the attractive guy gets easy no strings attached sex from a girl who maybe isn’t his top choice, and the girl gets to have sex with a hot guy who would have never given her the time of day if she demanded commitment first. So girls “ explore their sexuality” with guys who are out of their league physically and then settle down with a guy who is less attractive than the guys she used to hook up with, but generally this guy has a lower number of sexual partners than she does so she will lie about hers. Generally this guy makes more money so its not a bad deal for the girl.

[NatashaJ]

But is it a bad thing that I refuse to sleep with a guy on the first date since I don't know him and because I don't feel comfortable? shouldn't I feel comfortable with it as well not just one person what about my feelings? this is what pisses me off with guys now a days you all except sex on the first date or hook ups or one night stands but then you don't want girls to be slutty when your looking for a wife but when its casual dating you want her to sleep with you first chance you get. BS.

[bobwallice]

It's all about how you go about it. We don't want a woman to throw herself at us, but it's nice to have a mutual desire to sleep together, still there's a balancing act to it.

[NatashaJ]

Well what if I do have the desire but I just don't feel comfortable to have sex in the first few months?

[Bluemax]

That's your prerogative.

[NatashaJ]

@Bluemax Interesting.

[gapminder]

It's not bad at all, have self respect and standards.

[NatashaJ]

@gapminder Thank you! its not wrong to have the standard of not sleeping with someone on the first date lol.

[ArtDent]

Did you miss the part where a woman is easy with one type of man but uses a different type of man for support?

[NatashaJ]

@ArtDent Well I guess I'm not easy then because I don't use one man or the other any guy who wants to sleep with me has to date me.

[ArtDent]

I don't think this really applies the same to teens

[NatashaJ]

@ArtDent Still not every girl is like me so you just assuming every woman will one guy for shit and the other one she just F. What about guys? I'm getting tired of this because most of you guys used women for sex too just you call women out. Not saying you were but I'm just saying you seem like you assuming all women use one guy and F a other guy.

[ArtDent]

Oh, most guys don't use women just for sex. Most of the kind of guys you like maybe do, but most guys? Nope.

[NatashaJ]

@ArtDent I seen it a lot and I only met one so don't say my taste in men is the reason why I seen them.

[ArtDent]

Most women are having sex with a smaller sample of men. You base everything you know about men on this small sample.

[NatashaJ]

Ok you based what you assume about women on a small sample too.

[NatashaJ]

Wow weird how this comment goes against the mytake gets the most helpful.

[GreatnessPersonified]

It's shit like this that makes me sad. This is a discouraging post, aimed to lower keep men from fulfilling their potential.
Your pics that prove something, though. That being in shape helps get the opposite sex and working out is something that is controllable by EVERYONE. You can't change your looks, height or other aspects, but you can get more toned/muscular.
Also, being human, we are the only species that can change our nature to what we want.

[Mekkalyn]

I'm sorry, but I have never and will never want a hook up. I love my fiance in every sense of the word - emotionally and physically. The feelings make him even more attractive to me. There's not one single guy that I'd rather have. Not every girl is a slut, a cheat, gold digger, or a liar.

Honestly, you sound jaded.

[singlebee]

Woow I want a girlfriend or wife exactly like you!! :-) Hope I end up with the correct one LOL

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Every woman is different. I have turned down good looking guys, rich guys, popular guys, well known guys just for sex. I am not a groupie. To me, sex is something you take seriously and you don't just have with any guy because he runs game on you and makes your clit jump. some of us have self control and won't give into a guy no matter how fine he is.

I think your advice is suitable for guys who are just looking to get laid. So if you run into a girl who won't put out, then you should move on because she isn't giving you what you want. But don't paint all women with that brush like we would have jumped on you the first night if we thought you were hot enough. LOL i wish i could show you pics of guys that I have left with blue balls

[tzdc21]

Ideally yes sex should be taken seriously. But a lot of girls don't take it seriously and give up to guys who aren't looking for a relationship way sooner than they would to guys who ARE looking for a relationship and that's gonna come across as disrespectful towards the guy. He's gonna be convinced that you're not attracted to him, and having sex is probably the most effective way to tell the man that you are attracted to him and admire him. So if you aren't willing to do that, then he's going to think you're not really into him. Not saying you should have sex on the first night, but don't make it so long of a wait either.

[nalaa]

And what exactly is your advice supposed to achieve? What you're saying is, never wait for sex, either she'll dump you or not.
According to your own logic most men will always get dumped, so what good is that?

Then the result of the above is that you either get laid or not (for most of you not) but what about guys that want relationships? How do they fit in?
I will never sleep with a guy I just met and I want a relationship. I don't really care about the guys that only want to hook up, but I think you're giving terrible advice to men who want more. It's not gonna work. You can't expect her to not sleep around and then give it up for you right away. It's a two way street. If you don't want a girl that has been with many more attractive guys than you, penalize such behavior by not dating them. If all men did that, the problem would solve itself. In fact all men used to do that, but they'd rather casual sex so they've stopped doing it.

I agree on thing, which is that women want to be treated like a princess and fucked like a whore, but I'm not yet giving up on finding that in one guy

Really you took a lot of time to state the blatant obvious, which is that an abundance of mates to choose from is a privilege of the fittest

[Bandit74]

"If you don't want a girl that has been with many more attractive guys than you, penalize such behavior by not dating them" Sure, but how does he know? The point of this is that a lot of girls sleep around but then pretend to be hard to get when they meet the guy they want a relationship with. How would a guy be able to tell the difference between a girl who is actually hard to get and one who is just pretending? Even if a guy is modest and doesn't sleep around, there's no way for him to ensure that he gets a similar girl. So a lot of guys assume that most girls have been easy on at least a few occasions and compromise, well either way she was easy for other guys, but at least she's easy for me too.

[nalaa]

@Bandit74 well you wouldn't be entirely oblivious. Most people date within their social circle (somewhat) so you'd get some idea by talking to friends, looking at old facebook pics and so on. Or just downright ask, not just for a number but also how she sees sex Or go for virgins only but then be prepared to apply the same standard for yourself

[Bandit74]

There friends could lie for her. Most peoples old Facebook pictures are the same... hanging with friends, or drunk at parties. So you can't really use them to distinguish promiscuous from non-promiscuous. It would only give away the really obvious ones. how would a guy go for virgins only? Once again it's not like you can tell the difference. Also asking them would just seem weird and then there's the possibility that they'd lie. Another thing is most virgins prefer a guy who knows what he's doing so they likely won't see it as that tempting of an offer.

[nalaa]

@Bandit74 I meant your friends not hers. Just make it clear virginity is what you want and most women wouldn't lie. And if she did I'm sure you can tell when you have sex for the first. Point is you guys have a rather significant influence on the whole situation based on who you choose to be with. And unfortunately what a lot of girls see is that you choose the sluts. I mean if a girl goes home with the first night it's not reasonable to think she didn't do it with others. You do have point that apparently a lot of guys can't tell the difference when, she won't let you get into her pants right away, but still I think there are some sure signs, but that would by far exceed the word limit here. Maybe I'm too harsh on you since I'm on the inside but often I hear guys say they are surprised a certain girl sleeps aound a lot, when I'm like "duuh"

[Bandit74]

If my friends don’t know her, how would they know whether or not she has slept around. It would only work if we had mutual friends. Also if the guy was closer to her then he might just say it’s none of my business. “Just make it clear virginity is what you want and most women wouldn't lie” Lol, that probably wouldn’t work out well. He’ll probably get labeled as a “virgin hunter” or labeled as insecure or misogynistic. “And unfortunately what a lot of girls see is that you choose the sluts. I mean if a girl goes home with the first night it's not reasonable to think she didn't do it with others. “

[Bandit74]

They do often assume that if a girl has sex with them on the first date that she has done it with others and she probably has, but it doesn’t always mean she done it with LOTS of other guys. I think girls are often pickier about who they’ll hook up with than who they’ll go on dates with. I think they often have higher standards on the guys looks when they have casual sex. Then for relationships they will compromise on looks and date guys who are less attractive than the ones she hooked up with. So guys often see it as more of a complement to be picked for casual sex. Also just because a girl makes you wait three months doesn’t mean she didn’t have a bunch of one nighters before she met you. You can’t really use how quickly she sleeps with you to determine how she was with other guys. Realistically I don’t think many girls are consistent on either extreme….

[Bandit74]

It’s rare to meet a girl who always has sex on the first date but it’s also rare to meet a girl who always makes the guy wait. For example, maybe the typical 22 year old girl has had maybe 6 sexual partners. I think it’s unlikely that she slept with each of them within the same time frame. Maybe 2 of them had to wait 3 months, another 2 waited 1 month and maybe the last two got sex within the first week. I think guys assume that most girls have had sex on the first date before so they just accept it and try to be one of the guys who also gets sex on the first date. Because either way, whether she makes you wait or sleeps with you right away, chances are high that she has had sex right away with other guys in the past. So at least you can compromise and be like “oh she slept with other guys on the first date but at least she did the same for me too”. Maybe you could write a mytake “Sure signs that your girlfriend used to sleep around”. Id read it :p

[nalaa]

@Bandit74 What I'm saying is, when you share somewhat similar social circle you hear things, right? I think most people are ok with guys that want virgins as long as they'e not hypocrites "I think girls are often pickier about who they’ll hook up with than who they’ll go on dates with" true but it's still an uneven game. Guys want it way more so if you can get it once with a guy you deem attractive enough, you can pretty much every night " just because a girl makes you wait three months doesn’t mean she didn’t have a bunch of one nighters before she met you." never said the reverse was true. Pay attention! I'm not saying it's the exact same time frame, but that most girls pick a side. Either you like casual sex or you don't and hence you wait. There's very little in between. It's just a personal choice. I think the idea that girls purposely make guys wait sex to I don't know... torture them, is kinda bizarre. It's what you're comfortable with. Myabe for some girls they tried

[nalaa]

casual sex and realized it's not for them. So there might one guy to whom they gave it up quicker but in general there's a rather strict trend

[Minxxie]

Honestly even if I find a random guy attractive I still compare him to my boyfriend without really realizing I'm doing it, and it always ends up that I find my boyfriend more attractive. Who else would I trust as much? no one. Who else knows exactly what I like in bed? no one. And I'm dating a model so if I'm honest with myself, I won't get a better looking guy who also fits my personal preferences as well as he does. Honestly I don't think anyone should settle. Find someone you are as my boyfriend puts it "So attracted to you could die" and also has the personality traits you want. You just have to look harder and be able to wait for the right person. There's also a little psychological trick your brain will play on you (even with friends!). The better relationship you have with someone, the more attractive you perceive them to be. Even a straight man will look at his best friend before they are close and think "that dude's a bit funny looking!". But then when they become close his opinion will change and he will think "Yeah MY friend is a good looking guy! Any lady would be lucky to have him!". I think this take is just full of wide generalizations and you would have a hard time applying these theories in real life. Since this relies on women not being individuals and having some sort of hive mind, it's a conspiracy theory at best.

[Bluemax]

Are generalizations ever appropriate under any circumstances? Ever? You yourself made a generalization in this opinion. Myself, I don't mind generalizations. I dislike inaccurate generalizations, which I fear the author of this take may have made.

[ThatJarHead]

I'm here to watch chaos ensue...

[EasyForYouToSay]

This is... really stupid. Full of assumptions, over-generalisations, false 'studies', and blatant lies.

0/10, not worth reading.

[Scrambledagain]

That's easy for you to say!! ...😜

[LittleSally]

Guys want their dates to be promiscuous but their wives not to be...
How hypocritical.

Smart women do what is right, not what some guy wants...

[Transigence]

Sounds like you're mixing men and presenting them as one. That's actually a kind of objectification.

[jjmarvin]

Oh hold on i should be taking notes... *grabs pad and pen* Please tell me more about myself

[LittleSally]

@jjmarvin 3.bp.blogspot.com/.../...ass+giant+hand+slap+2.gif

[jjmarvin]

Sorry to expect more from you. This generalization is in direct opposition to other things you've said. More positive things. But just because i like what you've said before doesn't mean i won't call you out if you say something dumb. Smack yourself. You're the one who made the generalization. Am i wrong for pointing out that it was childish? I guess if i do that I'm just a hater?

[LittleSally]

@jjmarvin Didn't smack anyone... Just thought you'd appreciate the gif... Also didn't generalize - just said that those who think the same way as the maker of this mytake usually look for a virgin wife. And that's hypocritical and ironic at best. Never mentioned you, little guy...

[jjmarvin]

Interesting. So you see "little guy" as an insult then? I am a little guy but i certainly don't define my self or masculinity by it. I'm not that weak hearted. And don't be coy, you did generalize. You said "guys do x." That fits the definition of generalization. It's not a subjective thing that can be argued. And don't try to tell me that gif was totally unrelated and you "just thought I'd like it." You obviously meant it to be symbolic of your feelings about my opinion. You've been very measured and logical in the past on gender and social issues. Did one mytake from one asshole completely change your stance and embitter you?

[LittleSally]

@jjmarvin I have nothing else to say. Find yourself someone else willing to argue pointlessly with you. =)

[Robertcw]

You know, it’s not the same for every woman. Depending on her physical attractiveness the guy expects different things and will treat her differently the same way women treat men of different looks differently.

[Jxpxtxr]

"Out of 100 men, the typical woman might be open to DATING 40 of them, but she will only have casual sex with maybe 10 of them."

I'm so not typical ok..
As in.. out of 100 men I'll find 5 physically attractive hence might be open to dating 5 of them and will only have casual sex with maybe 5 of them. 😅

[Bluemax]

Actually, your one in twenty figure seems more realistic to me.

[Jxpxtxr]

@Bluemax Ikr.. And honestly I don't think it's different for many men either, at least not the relationship one, they might be mess picky when it comes to sex though :P

[Jxpxtxr]

*less

[Marshmellowking]

Hmmmmmm.. So being attractive as a female = less people who will date you?
Well... this explains my problem☺

[CanPenguinsBendOver]

You forget the opposite can apply. Honestly most of your points do not apply to me or any female I know. And anyway, I personally can't find a guy attractive enough to have sex with him if I don't think he's hubby material. The novelty of a pretty face dies real quick once you realize you can't see yourself dating this guy.

[melalalanie93]

That's true.. A huge part of attractiveness for me includes that the guy be smart. That turns me on

[Jack_S]

If ever I'm wondering if I got married too soon, I come to posts like this, have a quick read and think "Fuuuck all that noise"
I'm so glad i don't deal with that horseshit anymore.

[HookingSwan]

ok. But this may be just a little biased. Not all women cheat and certainly many actually enjoy sleeping with her boyfriends...

[HookingSwan]

their*

[knight1986]

i agree. Not all women cheat :)

[HookingSwan]

haha Hi @knight1986 Nice to see you back on GAG.

[knight1986]

Hey HookingSwan, Back at work, so i thought i'd drop into Gag

[Kira88]

I'm the opposite, if I'm using a guy for only sex then I have to find something unattractive about them either physically or emotionally. I aim lower forjust sex because in my mind they try harder, more grateful and always come back for more if I want it. If it's a guy who's relationship material being I'm attracted to them inside and out I won't place them in the sex only category. But I'm also I mature adult so if I like the guy and want to have sex I won't wait, I don't see the point in playing games if he wants a relationship good if he doesn't that's okay. I slept with my ex on the second date and we were together five years. I don't engage in the cheating idea because if I'm not satisfied with my man then I'd have to look at the issues in the relationship. Cheating isn't going to fix something and I'd never do it, even though I've had plenty of opportunities.

[normalice]

this just makes me annoyed by not having a phone to use Tinder on...

[BCRanger10]

I'm... not sure what I just read...

[InconspicuousBox]

Bullshit. What you just read was bullshit.

[TheLittleBuggy]

*just agreeing with @inconspicuousBox *

[flakosky]

Best take I've ever read!! This made me understand a lot of things about my previous relationship!

[myTake Owner]

It's a little depressing how predictable the whole mating game is. I actually just had my ex suggest that we be friends with benefits instead of staying in a relationship because she thinks I'm an asshole and I don't want to marry her. She then suggested that she would get back with her first boyfriend to possibly get married, but wanted me to get her pregnant first. I seriously couldn't believe it when she said this. Of course this is a terrible idea, but I just can't believe she would even suggest this.

[Elena_the_Star]

Seriously? You're gonna bash girls for wanting hot guys for one night stand and and having sex with them instantly and making men they are planning a future with wait? So stupid.
If I sleep with a hot guy very soon, its because he is HOT and I don't love him, feel for him or see a future, he's just a dick for me. Why would I make him wait? I just want sex from him. Easy come, easy go.
If I make a guy wait, its because I want to have a future with him, I feel for him and I am in this for more than just sex and it takes time to see if he's relationship material or not. Also, the 'meaningful' thing is not shit, its true. With one night stands you fuck and with your boyfriend you make love. Duh.
Dude, if you are not hot, that's your problem. If you want easy-peasy sex then lucky for you, girls are not as visual as guys, and if you get a rugged, confident, rebellious bad boy persona you might get girls who are willing to give you sex fast.
Guys also look for hot women for one night stands and look for a nice girl to marry/have a relationship with. A lot of guys WANT the girl they like to make them wait, so that he can see that she is not impulsive and sex hungry.
Those girls put on the good girl act because they are slut shamed. That's why we have to pretend, because no guy will respect us if we tell that we actually might have sex soon.
We don't care if he gives us the time of the day or not, he's just a dick to us. Stop with the Nice-guys-don't-get-laid BS. You are supposed to be nice anyway, you don't get a cookie. You are friendzoned because you are being very FRIENDLY.

Its amazing how guys don't value the love a girl gives at all, they just toss it away like trash. Have you ever thought that she wants to wait because she LOVES him? If a guy was willing to wait for a girl, everybody is like he must love her soooo much but when a girl makes him wait because she wants something substantial out of it, she's a bitch. If I am going to give you my heart, I will damn well make you wait to see if you love me enough to be with me without sex and are worthy of it.
Dafuq logic.

[Elena_the_Star]

Maybe I should do a MyTake on How men have higher standards when it comes to loving women. Men are a hell lot of choosy when it comes to actually loving girls, but nobody is crying about that. They want a... what was it? " Lady on the streets, chef in the kitchen and whore in bedroom" all in one. Suddenly women's standards don't seem that high, huh?

[Bandit74]

Are you going to say girls never end up falling in love with their hookups/flings? That girls never end up wanting more from the guys they have casual sex with?

[Elena_the_Star]

@Bandit74 Most of those girls had a one night stand with men because they ALREADY had feelings for him, and that was the only way he was going to come around. They are desperate. They were already hoping he would change his mind. My opinion was for women who are capable of having a purely sexual relationship.

[Bandit74]

So in a lot of cases there's nothing the relationship guy who waits for sex gets that her fwbs/hookups didn't also get. I'm just saying that for a guy it's better for girls to see you as hookup material than it is to be just relationship material. You get sex sooner with less effort. You feel complemented because you know you're hotter than the guys who have to wait for sex, and a lot of times the girl ends up falling in love with you so if you want a relationship all you need to do is ask.

[dudeman]

yes why wouldn't a guy judge a women for this. its insulting to decent men.

[Elena_the_Star]

@Bandit74 But such girls are desperate and can't handle emotions, why would you want to be with them? Someone falling in love with her hookup either means she either doesn't get love in her life or is not emotionally stable. Generally men don't want such girls. Yeah amd women want to be seen as a relationship material than hookup material. But most of the guys want to fuck you and leave. Let's not get into how many guys lead women on on how they want to a relationship and then they are out the door the minute you give in to sex. Girls also have to make a lot of efforts to look as relationship material so it all balanced. If I had sex with a guy on the first date who I really liked, I have only myself to blame if he doesn't followup. Women give in to sex sooner for a friends with benefits because they don't care that much if he will leave or not. Whereas if I like a guy I have to see carefully if he is not in it for just sex and for that I need to see if he can wait.

[Elena_the_Star]

@dudeman Just don't. I have seen enough of your posts to see how baseless your logic is.

[Bandit74]

I would prefer to be with a girl who doesn't have fwbs or one night stands at all. I get the logic but I still think it's backwards. The guys who are supposedly meaningless get to have sex right away with zero effort while the guys whom you value have to pay to take you on dates and potentially wait months for something the meaningless guys got on the first date. Kinda cheapens things. Usually the guys who end up being relationship material are NOT the same guys who lead girls on you cheat. It seems like girls reward the liars and cheaters with easy no strings attached sex.

[dudeman]

nah I speak truth. bam

[Elena_the_Star]

@Bandit74 you say it like guys be nice just to get sex. That makes them liars, at least one night stand guys are straightforward and tell you exactly what you are in for. From the way you are describing it seems sex is. some kind of 'reward' that guys play nice to get. And all that guys care about is sex. That doesn't make them meaningful it makes THEM cheapAnd. also proves my point about how less a girl's love means to them. All they care about is when they get sex never mind if you are getting her love in return if she isn't giving you sex she's worthless. Makes me respect guys so much now -_-

[Elena_the_Star]

@dudeman more like the opposite.

[Bandit74]

If you lose respect for all guys because of the opinion of one guy then your respect for guys couldn't have been that high to begin with.

[Elena_the_Star]

@Bandit74 Sarcasm, bro, Sarcasm

[dudeman]

nope I speak the truth. its just not pc. we don't love dem hos and its like dat.

[Bandit74]

Ok, my bad. In response to your last message… I wasn’t trying to imply that guys should get sex JUST for being nice, I think that's dumb. I think it seem off that the guys who, by your standards, are worthy of a relationship, the guys who are have traits and attributes that you deem as the most desirable, have to wait longer for sex than the guys who you supposedly never care about. I don’t think it’s a “reward” to be won for “playing nice” but it is a reward for ticking off the right boxes. To know that based on your physical qualities and personality traits, this woman sexually desires so much that she can't PHYSICALLY WAIT to have sex with you. The typical guy doesn’t get that many offers for casual sex. It’s mainly the, as you said, “hot guys with the confident badboy persona” who consistently get casual sex. I’ve also heard that girls has HIGHER standard for looks when hooking up so its more of a compliment to a guy’s physical desirability if a girl wants to have sex right away

[Bandit74]

I think girls look at it differently though. We tend to value what is rarer. As a girl you’re probably used to guys wanting sex right away, so a guy who wants to wait and take you out would be considered more of a complement. For a guy it’s the opposite, the typical guy is used to having to pay for dates waiting for sex. So a girl who is actually excited to sleep with you is more of a complement. However a girl who had sex right away with her previous partners but wants to wait months with you sends the message that you’re less attractive to her than the guys who she jumped right into bed with. Another thing is the risk factor, girls have more to risk from having sex, pregnancy, stds which women are more likely to contract, feeling used, developing feelings etc. So when a girl meets a guy and agrees to sleep with him right away, it means he was so desirable to you in that moment that he was worth taking a risk on.

[Bandit74]

I’m not saying that sex is the only thing guys care about but yeah, I do think guys place more value on physical intimacy than girls do but a guy isn’t going to date a girl just for sex. I don’t see why a guy can’t want to be physically desired as much as the guys the girl hooks up with and at the same time want her love :/ And like we talked about, often times girls are already in love with the guys before they sleep with him and other times they develop feelings after sleeping with him. (maybe you don’t but other girls do)

[Elena_the_Star]

@Bandit74 Its quite opposite. You wait because you want to see if something substantial comes out of the relationship. After sex, its like the initial excitement is over. When you wait for something it is better. What you don't understand is that I don't love the hook up guy and he is just a dick to me. Also let's face he IS more desirable than the relationship guy since you have to lower your physical expectations to find a good guy. Thus he will get sex easier. We can't change that. it also hurts girls when she knows a guy has been in serious relationships before but wants her for only a physical relationship. Like she is not a respectable person enough to have a meaningful relationship. Me, I just accept that I am not his type of girl to have a relationship with and there are guys out there who will consider me that girl. I don't whine that why he doesn't want me as a girlfriend blah blah. I focus on the good thing that I am hot that he wants to friends with benefits with me.

[Elena_the_Star]

@Bandit74 Guys should also look at the positive side of things that by they are good enough to be relationship material. Girls could also blame guys for not giving them love after having sex with them. I also did what they wanted so where is my love? This is not about one gender. Bashing one gender is wrong, we should just accept reality. Just because a guy doesn't love you after sex doesn't mean you should stop having sex with them. Also you mentioned that you do not want to date a girl who had friends with benefits or one night stand but want a girl who will jump in bed pretty quick? That kind of contradicts each other. You cannot demand virtue while encouraging to sin. You want me to be a lady and have sex only in relationships but then you want sex fast. Honestly, majority of the guys will never call the girl if she has sex so soon and say stupid shit like " why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free" it reduces sex to something women are supposed to give but also refrain from.

[Elena_the_Star]

@Bandit74 I have to make a guy wait to see he's not going to leave me after sex. Don't treat sex as a reward or else women will just be more picky and fussy in giving it. What guy will stay after I have sex with him on first date? L

[ChocEyes]

I could not care less about men and women making the partner wait for sex or not. It's an agreement. You agree with the terms, you sign it. You don't agree, you don't sign it. Everyone is happy and free. What frustrates me is how people are always willing to bash other's lifestyle, always assuming their own lifestyle is the more "virtuous one" (whatever crap that means). No one is obligated to like one night stands and no one is obligated to like commited relationships. One lifestyle is not inheretly better than the other. So there's absolutely no sense in the idea that "hookup culture is destrying dating" and idiotic things like that. Hookup culture offers people an alternative, if you don't like it, don't follow it.

[Bluemax]

@Bandit74 I have not had time to read this entire exchange, but if I understand you right, you believe it is more of a compliment to a man if a woman wants him sexually right away. I might argue that, by your own reasoning, it is only a compliment to his physical appearance. Nothing more. Do you not agree that it is completely her prerogative to decide when and to whom she has sex with? I'm sure you do.

[Bandit74]

@bluemax “I might argue that, by your own reasoning, it is only a compliment to his physical appearance. Nothing more. “ I've been on this site for a while and have noticed that girls commonly develop feelings for the guys they hookup with. So he gets the best of both worlds, he gets the validation of knowing that he was so attractive that she couldn’t wait to sleep with him, and the compliment of knowing that she wants him emotionally too. I think in most fwbs scenarios the girl either wants it to turn into something more or she is at least open to the idea if the guy were to suggest it.

[Bandit74]

@bluemax “Do you not agree that it is completely her prerogative to decide when and to whom she has sex with? I'm sure you do.” Yes, of course I do but it’s also the guys prerogative if he wants to wait. he's free to feel turned off by the offer if that’s how he feels. Im not arguing that guys is entitled to sex right away just because she had it right away with other guys. That defeats the point. Its like an anniversary gift, the girl doesn’t want to pressure the guy or tell him to get her something. She wants him to do it on his own. For him to have a genuine desire to get her a gift. It’s the same here. I don’t think any guy wants to feel like he has pressure a girl to sleep with him. He wants her to do it on her own. He wants her to be at least equally as excited to sleep with him as she was with the other guys. To feel like he’s just as attractive as the guys she hooked up with and not just someone she’s with because he’s stable and reliable.

[Elena_the_Star]

Yeah, you boys carry on. I am off! Bye.

[melalalanie93]

I totally agree with you

[Bluemax]

Putting aside the biases you might have, is it not her prerogative to decide when she has sex, as surely as it is his prerogative to decide if he should wait?

[Yeahhbro]

hahahahaha i love this take. I would say this is pretty accurate.

[Homicidal_Queen]

Nice, I agree but not all women cheat and I WOULD be a slut for my SO and only them. I read that tinder link, and it's good but I don't like how he posted their nudes. made me uncomfortbale af