When I first starting dating Michael I wasn't in love with him, but I felt obligation to him. He had done so much for me and I found him physically appealing and he was desirable to Many women. So I gave him the only thing I assumed I could offer him-sex. All the while I didn't realizing I didn't owe him a DAMN THING. I was so young and immature that I was stuck in this fantasy of a perfect relationship and I didn't even care if the love wasn't real. I knew that he was cheating on me with other women so even more so I thought that giving him sex would save everything. I mean I thought if he wouldn't be in love with me he would not be saying that I never was a good lover. Because I wanted to please him to the point that I could be better than any other woman he slept with and thus, not worth losing.
A while ago I realized that having sex with him wasn't an obligation. Just because he was my boyfriend didn't mean he deserved my body. And yeah, I enjoyed sex just as much as he did. But using as a tool to keep him around wasn't worth it, so I just stopped having sex with him. I even let it be known that I would not have sex with him anymore unless he changed. He eventually stopped pretending to love me because I wouldn't have sex with the the him, and I wouldn't have sex with him because he didn't love me. We still managed to remain in a relationship, both foolishly believing the other would be what they wanted. I wanted him to he my lover, he wanted me to be his ho. And none would budge. All of his attempts to seduce me we're met with a serious confession that it wouldn't happen, probably ever again. I knew he could no longer continue to use me if I didn't allow it. but I believed that by showing him that I respected myself he would magically change. Thats just not true. No man is going to magically respect you just because you tell him to. Nobody in the world is that easy to control. The only reason to change your ways isn't to prove to someone else that your worth respecting, but because you ACTUALLY RESPECT YOURSELF.
The real reason sex won't keep a man isn't because your sex isn't good enough. You could have the best vagina on the planet. But when it all boils down to it, if all he is getting from you is sex and he seems satisfied with that, then honey that's all he ever wanted from you. He wasn't seeking a relationship, nor did he have any intentions of being with you and that won't change. It just doesn't change no matter how much you wish it would. You see, if a man wants to stay he will make an effort to NOT FUCK UP. No man who doesn't want to lose you is going to openly give you reasons to leave. And if your so easy to get back together with that you can just have sex with him after everything bad thing he has done, then honey he won't change. Your giving him everything he wants, and if it doesn't seem like much then that's because it isn't. Sex is not enough in a relationship, anyone can tell you that. so if he is settling for just sex from you, he doesn't want anything more. And by you not giving him any ultimatum (be with me or never be with me again) he assumes that you don't want anything more either. You can say you want to be in a relationship and get married or for him to stop cheating, but in the end you are BOTH making the concious decision to be together. If he isn't physically MAKING you have sex with him then you are fully responsible for your decision to let him stick around.
And YES, if a man is only using you for sex then he is SIMPLY STICKING AROUND. He doesn't have the intention of staying for good. He is sticking around while everything is good FOR NOW. And that won't keep a man for the simple fact that he doesn't want to be kept. Ladies, stop kidding yourselves. The only reason you can't keep a man isn't because your not good enough, it's because the men you choose never wanted anything else you had to offer but your body. (Or your money but that isn't the topic of this post).
You as an individual aren't perfect, but a man who wants a woman would want you if you respect yourself and have standards. Never underestimate that standards are important. They do matter. But the thing is, they only matter to men worth being with. Ladies, stop chasing players and realize that a man who wants you does not just stay because YOU want him to. He stays because HE does. If your man makes you feel like you could lose him at any moment, then you better believe you can. Ditch him now and go find a real man.