Why I Can't Get With The Anti-"Slut Shaming" Thing

ManOnFire
Why I Can't Get With The Anti-

I've heard more about the term slut-shaming in these times, and now that I'm fully aware of what it is I'm still split on it. I mean, I myself don't go around just calling any woman a slut - in fact it's really not even a term I've used since teenhood. It seems overused to me, and just because a woman might sleep with a guy/guys for casual kicks doesn't exactly register in my mind as a slut. I may see her more as a loose woman, but using the terms slut and whore are just kind of overused for me.


However, my problem with the anti-slut shaming movement is that basically we are pretty much being asked to excuse females when they want to engage in sexual behavior “like males,” and to have no problem when they do it, yet any guy can be criticized for his own sexual behavior, especially by females. Let's just be honest about it. People try to say that guys are respected or “patted on the back” for their “conquests” and sexual endeavors but this really isn’t entirely true. Most of the people patting these guys on the back are other men; I highly doubt there are very many women out there high-fiving a guy for randomly or easily nailing a woman.


While there is some element of truth to how we as a society view male behavior as just “boys being boys,” our view is still very much negative, full of assault, and judgmental - again, especially by females: males are commonly and flagrantly said to be thinking with their penises, unable to resist sex with a woman especially if she offers it, and are regularly called horn-dogs. Male sexuality is also seen as something to “protect our daughters from” in youth because boys are “only after one thing.” We also view male sexuality so flippantly that when a boy is molested by his teacher, or a man is raped by a woman, it’s often joked that it was a dream come true for him. And while there are female rape victims who aren’t taken seriously, male ones are virtually ignored altogether.

Why I Can't Get With The Anti-"Slut Shaming" Thing


Even women’s sexual tastes and penchants get more respect in comparison to men’s, and are thought to be sexy: when men like anal sex with women people tend to view it as a raw, deviant, animal thing for guys to be into, but when women like it they’re criticized much less and some people will say, “She likes what she likes” - I’ve even heard some explanations that it’s understandable for women to like it because it’s more stimulating to her G-spot. Men are also frequently judged for watching and liking porn, but if women like it that’s supposed to be respected or else she’s being oppressed or repressed morally because she’s female. When men are even pervertedly attracted to young girls, they're hated for it, but when women are having sex with young boys THAT is pervertedly seen as sexy.

I mean, we can't honestly pretend none of this isn't true and not going on.


Girls and women can raid the Internet with posts that demonize males and their genitals for their sexual activities and conquests, or jab at them for only having sex on their minds, yet it’s not supposed to be okay if guys - and even other women - get online talking about how much of a slut or whore a girl is for her promiscuity, for giving oral sex to boys in school, or displaying her body parts all over Facebook. So I cannot fully support an anti-slut-shaming movement that asks me to see it as just fine when a woman wants to think with her genitals, while I’m supposed to shake my head at a guy for doing it.

Why I Can't Get With The Anti-"Slut Shaming" Thing

@IceEverest

@Chief16

@Relentless_Hippie

@loveisbeautiful

Why I Can't Get With The Anti-"Slut Shaming" Thing
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Relentless_Hippie
    I don't think promiscuity is anything that should be celebrated. The whole "slut shaming" movement it just a sack of stupid rolling down a never ending hill. It doesn't matter who you are that's just something that is not okay, even psychologists have proven promiscuity is damaging.

    Trying to get rid of the term "slut" serves no justice because it teaches people to be in denial about what they are and the actions they engage in. Sluts do exist and yes they exist in the female and male form. I think the problem with this movement and with feminism in general is that people aren't able to realize equality doesn't mean the same.

    Women and men are equal however we are NOT the same. Women want to be the same as men not equal to them and that is where their downfall lies. Promiscuity is something to be ashamed of and no "slut" should not be something we remove from our vocabulary. A woman should be held responsible for her actions and that includes praises and ridicule alike. Nobody has standards anymore and that's the issue we have in this world.

    We don't encourage people to respect themselves and to do right but instead we enable them, we coddle them, we teach them not to persevere but to fall into every temptation and bad habit they've formed for themselves. We teach people to be as they are with no improvements and if someone doesn't like it then "fuck the world." That's not how we should be thinking but that's what we teach. And we teach these things with these anti slut shaming movements and things that are similar. We teach bad is good and up is down.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • AleDeEurope
    I'm part of the "anti-shaming" campaign, I mean, no one should be shamed unless their actions are negative and affecting society/people around them.
    I'm against slut shaming, but I'm also against virgin shaming. When you're just 12 and already being told you should start thinking of losing your virginity because the older you get while still being a virgin, the less worthy and manly you'll be.
    Slut shaming isn't as bad as virgin shaming.

    Also, I don't believe being a slut is bad, it's just a word to describe a promiscuous person, if you don't wanna be called a slut, don't act like a slut. I don't act like an asshole cause I don't wanna be seen as an asshole. It's pretty simple. Newton's third law.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • KRIEL55
    slut shaming doesn't necessarily mean overusing the word "slut", thats not the problem. the problem is that women get shamed over the dumbest things. the majority of women who want slut shaming to end aren't even loose. the reason we want it to stop isn't so that we can go around having sex with a new guy every night, its so that men would finally stop trying to control us and our bodies. its already 2016, yet women still get shamed and seen as promiscuous and dirty for the simplest reasons and it really needs to stop. we get shamed for things such as showing a little skin, openly and comfortably talking about sex, having had more then one sexual partner (some even get shamed for having sex before marriage! it can really be that bad), or even just for dating more then like 5 guys (even if they didn't have sex with them, just simply dated). yeah some women really are loose and really do just want to be able to freely have sex with whoever, whenever without being judged, but the majority of women are just tired of getting judged for doing things that men do.
    • ManOnFire

      Yet the majority of people who criticize women for their sexual behaviors are WOMEN. And they contradict themselves: so first they look at guys' behavior and think it's not good and that women shouldn't do it, now they want it to be okay to do what guys do when they want it to be okay.

    • KRIEL55

      well if you want to go thatt far back, the reason women are so catty and criticize each other so much is because of men. this is based off history. literally learned this in a college class. women were ones united, especially when all the feminists came together to fight for their rights. they had each others backs and treated each other like sisters. but of course men didn't like all the changes being made so they started brainwashing women with media by making us think its all about competition. we have to look better then other women, have to get better man, and so on. ever since then feminism has slowed way down (we STILL dont all have equal pay) and women are more commonly enemies rather then friends. and hell yeah there's some behavior we dont like (things such as hitting and controlling women) but there's also things we like such as the way men can be comfortable with their sexuality and not being shamed for the most ridiculous things. that is not contradicting.

    • KRIEL55

      its not about being like men, its about being treated like human beings. every human being, despite gender, has sexual urges. and it is not healthy for women to have to repress theirs just because men wanted us (i said wanted because some men have changed) to be pure, innocent, and act as though we don't even like sex. that is just not okay and it somehow still goes on today.

    • Show All
  • aliceinwonderland69
    First of all I think it's fair to say women experience more shame for promiscuity than men do from either gender. Though I do agree men can experience shame for this behaviour and many other aspects of their sexuality. But two wrongs don't make a right. If you think it is wrong to shame men for their sexuality it should be equally wrong to do so to women. It seems immature to not speak out against shaming of women because ur trying to even the score tho I can empathise with the desire to do so.
    • ManOnFire

      I'm not saying it's wrong to shame men for their sexuality, or that it's right or wrong to do it to women either. I'm saying that as a society we're hypocritical. We have the nerve to feel that it's wrong to shame women for doing what guys do, yet all the while we have our own negative attitudes towards male sexuality. Nor am I trying to even any score, I'm just telling it like it is.

      Also, at the end of the day, being labeled a slut is still not a threat to anybody. But being thought of as a rapist or sexual predator is. Bring 2 files to the police: one of a woman known for sleeping around, and one of a womanizing playboy, and then tell me which one the police are going to find to be more likely to be predatory or sexually violent.

    • ManOnFire

      It also seems immature to me that a bunch of grown woman should march around on a street dressed in sleazy-wear to make some point about not shaming sluts.

  • Bandit74
    I covered this in more detail on my take if anyone is interested…
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23173-the-slut-stud-double-standard

    First, Women do lose respect for promiscuous men.
    In 2010, Barbara J. Risman, a professor of Sociology at the University of Illinois conducted a college survey of 20,000 students and found that “63% of men say they lose respect for women who hook up frequently, while only 41% say they feel the same way about men who engage in the same behavior.70% of women say they lose respect for men who engage in casual sex, while less than 60% lose respect for other women.”

    You could also look at the questions/polls on gag to see that women have preferrences for their partners sexual history just like men do.

    So BOTH genders often lose interest in the other for sleeping around. Sure men might be more critical but its not this huge divide where women are 100% ok with promiscuous men while men are 100% against promiscuous women.

    Two reasons why I think women are more open to accepting a promiscuous partner.

    1:Men typically lower their standards for casual sex while women raise them.

    So Its difficult for a man to be promiscuous, promiscuous guys are typically above average looking and have above average social skills and status. The sluts arernt sleeping with average dudes. They hookup with attractive popular guys. So the manwhores have desirable traits that allowed them to be promiscuous. So if a woman agrees to date a promiscuous man she is getting an above average guy as compensation.

    Women don’t need to be above average to sleep around so there not as much incentive for a guy to overlook her past if he's only getting an average girl. Guys would be much more willing to overlook a sluts past if she was exceptionally beautiful and amazing but most of them aren’t anything special. They are the rejects from all the players who just wanted them for an easy lay. The girls eeveryone wanted to fuck but nobody wanted to commit to.

    2:Second reason is men typically invest more into the relationship financially so women have less to lose by committing to a promiscuous man since they will get half if he cheats.. Id bet men would be more willing to marry a slut if she made more money than he did.

    As far as guys being congratulated, it does happen but its really exaggerated. Guys might envious of successful guys or congratulate a friend if he hooks up with an attractive girl but they aren’t highfiving them in the streets.
    • Bandit74

      So Two questions that should be asked:
      Why do guys sometimes praise other guys for getting laid?
      and
      Why DON’T girls praise other girls for getting laid?”

      You might be able to answer those yourself but if not I did give a longer answer in my take.

    • Simple; others want what they can't have.
      But honestly, I think that this whole feminist movement is the dumbest shit ever, because it's ripping people even further apart from each other. And honestly, I don't understand why some women can't see how we just won't be the same? Like, rather than trying to become more like something we aren't, actually work together despite our differences?

  • Chief16
    Yeah, lol.
    https://cdn.meme.am/instances/55594578.jpg
    You tell them, men don't have it easy other. We're ostracized for being virgin or having a lot of sex. Men don't bitch about it, only women do.
  • Joc4Position
    Ehh I don't care what people think and nobody else should either. Fuck you all is what I say lol. If I want to be a certain way I will be anyway. Opinions from the peanut gallery or not. Most people who bitch about people being slutty are the ones who can't get laid.
  • IceEverest
    I agree with you.
    Actually I think the media and society is so much male oriented that even women start to think from a male point of view. For example, while having casual sex, the guy thinks he is lucky to get laid and surprisingly even the woman thinks that the guy is lucky to have her. Lol I mean shouldn't she be thinking from a female point of view?
    The same thing happens to male sexual assault victims and they are mocked.
    There is also a unspoken message that society sends us that "MEN GAIN FROM SEX AND WOMEN LOSE FROM SEX" is another bullshit why male rape victims are not taken seriously.
    Thanks for tagging and a great take.
  • Berethor
    The "anti slut shaming thing" is usually promoted by sluts and guys who are looking for one night stand, for obvious reasons. Sluts are sluts, they should not try to deny it, it's would not going to fool anyone. I didn't care too much if an slut is an slut as long as I am not in a relationship with her, and I don't want to be in a relationship with a slut, and it's my right, sluts are good only for guys who are looking for one night stand, sluts are very hard to trust for serious relationship, for obvious reasons. As for the "slutwalk" it's half a joke as far as I'm concerned, because it's mainly about revealing clothing then it's about promiscuity, I am actually support women freedom to go with revealing clothing, but I don't support promiscuous women.
  • Zombie-Killa
    The bitch holding that sign doesn't even have a hot body.
    These kids are delusional.
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