The Slut/Stud Double Standard

Introduction:

In this myTake I will give my perspective on the slut/stud double standard, what the word slut really means, whether guys are judged negatively for their sex count, female on female shaming, and if/why guys are praised for sleeping around. Due to character restrictions, I will not be covering WHY promiscuity is often seen as a negative attribute or why guys often judge it more harrshly, however I’d be more than happy to cover that in future take if anyone wants me to. I will warn you that this mytake is longer than average so maybe read it in sections...or not at all. Whatever floats your boat.

What do “slut” and “whore” mean?

The official definition of slut is “a woman who has many casual sexual partners”. The word whore, despite the dictionary definition: “a woman who engages in sexual acts for money", is often used as a synonym for the word slut. Since they are often used interchangeably, lets cover, what is a slut? The dictionary doesn’t exactly specify what constitutes “a lot” or “many”. Is it 3 in a day, 20 by the time you’re 30, cheating on your SO, sleeping with a taken man? Sure, at the extreme end, most people might agree that someone who has been with 50 people in a year is a slut. But where’s the imaginary line drawn between “slut” and “not a slut”? There really isn’t any. There are no agreed-upon, objective, set of criteria to separate a “slut” from “not a slut”. You could ask 100 people and all their answers would be slightly different.

I look at it like this: every guy has a tolerance for what kind of behavior and/or sexual history that he is willing to accept in a potential romantic partner. In my opinion, slut is basically just a negative label that they apply to any girl who falls outside of his personal tolerance. Since every guy has a different tolerance, that is why some guys will say a girl who has had 2 one night stands is a slut , while his friend thinks it’s a girl who sends nudes to strangers, while another guy might think anything is fine as long as it was in the past. Since there are so many different opinions, based on the way the word is actually used, a more realistic definition of slut would be: “Derogatory label applied to a woman who is not relationship material by- that individual’s- standards”. Now, I dont want to get into the ethics of SHOULD the word be used. Im simply saying that WHEN it is used, that is what I think is usually being implied.

Are Guys Judged For Their Sexual Behavior?

Girls have standards/preferences for what kind of sexual behavior they are willing to accept in a potential partner just like guys do. In 2010, Barbara J. Risman, a professor of Sociology at the University of Illinois conducted a college survey of 20,000 students and found that

“63% of men say they lose respect for women who hook up frequently, while only 41% say they feel the same way about men who engage in the same behavior. However 70% of women say they lose respect for men who engage in casual sex, while less than 60% lose respect for other women.

So the whole idea of men not being judged is a little exagerated. We can also look at some polls on Gag to see that girls do take a guy’s sexual history into consideration when deciding whether or not a he is relationship material. We can also see that there are actually a decent amount of men who don’t hold a girls past against her. Or at least they claim not to :/

The Slut/Stud Double Standard

It’s not this black and white thing where all the girls get shamed into oblivion while guys are let off without a scratch. Just like slut is a negative label to describe promiscuous women, the same could be said of the words: “fuckboy” “manwhore”, “womanizer” and sometimes “player”. They all have negative connotations and when a girl calls a guy any of those terms, she is essentially implying the same thing as when a guy calls a girl a slut (by her standards, that guy is not relationship material). The reason that I say sometimes for player is because the word player technically implies that he uses deceit to get sex, although sometimes a girl will falsely label a guy a player even if he was completely honest regarding his intentions.

Additonally the words "creep" and "pervert" are used almost exclusivley as negative labels for men. Sure sometimes they are warrented but they also get thrown around losely (just as the word slut often does) and unfairly label guys who are undeserving of the title.

Girls Slut Shame Other Girls

It’s no secret that girls commonly shame other girls for their sex lives, but if a girl is strictly heterosexual, why would she care how many men another girl sleeps with? In my opinion, there are 3 reasons for why a girl might judge another girl for sleeping around.

-Falsely Assigning Morality Onto Others: She views sex as something scared and would see herself in a negative light for engaging in that kind of behavior. As such, she applies her own moral standards onto other women and judges them accordingly.

- Shame the Competition: Contrary to popular belief, Sluts don’t sleep with just anyone, It could even be argued that “sluts” have higher standards for the guys they hook up with than the guys they would seriously date. They generally sleep with attractive men, often times men that lots of other women want. The women who are “relationship types” want a man who will wait for sex, and when the “sluts” are willing to have sex on the first date, it makes it harder for the relationship oriented girls to get the guys they want to wait. The girls who offer “easy sex” restrict the bargaining power of the girls who want to get desirable guys to wait. They see it as stealing the men away, so rather than lower their own ddemans; they will instead shame the girls by calling them sluts. Or sometimes the girl being slut shamed isn't even promiscuous and they get called a slut simply because the other girl is jealous of her looks or the attention she gets from guys.

-Generic Insult: Sometimes it is just a generic insult like “bitch”. EX: *Becky cuts Mandy in line* Mandy: "You slut!" Also similar to how guys might get mocked by other guys for being a virgin and “not being able to get laid”, girls might mock other girls for “not being able to get commitment” because getting commitment is seen as more of a challenge for a girl. So by calling a girl a slut she could be saying “you can get guys to stick their dicks in you but you can’t make any of them stay” which can be pretty insulting for a woman to hear.

Sour Grapes Slut/Player Shaming:

Sometimes a guy will, ironically, call a girl a slut after she REFUSES to have sex with him. This is just a classic example of entitlement and “sour grapes” mentality. He wanted to have sex with her but once he gets denied the thing that he wanted (sex), he’s like: “oh yeah, well I never wanted you anyways slut”. There’s also a saying “a slut sleeps with everyone, a whore sleeps with everyone EXCEPT you” . So sometimes it's just pure bitterness.

Girls will often do something similar but for different reasons. Sometimes a girl will agree to enter a strictly physical relationship or hook up with a guy but later on, develop feelings. When the guy unfortunately lets her know that he doesn’t feel the same way, the girl will often get mad for being denied the thing that she wanted (a relationship). So she will potentially call him a player or a jerk, asshole etc or whatever negative word she can think of. Its same principle, he didn’t play her, he just didn't give her what she felt entitled to. Then she’s like: “oh yeah, well you’re a (fuckboy/asshole/jerk/player), I never wanted you anyways”. Sour grapes :p

Her girlfriends might even chime in "Oh Mindy, you dont need him! he's an asshole, you can do so much better!"

Positive stigma for men?

Girls often claim something like "Why are girls shamed for having sex while guys are praised and seen as heroes?” This sort of implies that if a guy sleeps around, everyone will congratulate him and that he will face zero judgement while girls are shamed by everyone. Personally I don’t believe this true. As far as guys getting congratulated, Yeah it happens but its somewhat exaggerated as far as how often it happens and to what degree. The survey of 20,000 student that I mentioned earlier, found that 40% of men claimed to lose respect for promiscuous guys, so it’s clear that they don’t get praised by everyone. Also, IF a guy does get congratulated for getting laid, he is congratulated by OTHER MEN, NOT by women. I have never in my entire life heard of a girl praising a guy for sleeping around. As I stated above, women do have tolerances for what kind of past they are willing to accept in a man and do often lose respect for promiscuous men.

The Slut/Stud Double Standard

With that being said, I will concede that despite what people claim on polls, guy do get shamed less than women and that women are more likely to accept a mans past but it’s not as black and white as the initial claim at the top of the previous paragraph. Yes, a guy’s friends might be happy for him if he gets laid or be envious if he got to hook up with a hot girl but it’s not this huge thing were he’s getting high fives left and right or paraded around while everyone cheers his name. After highschool, nobody likes a braggart who goes around telling everyone whenever he gets laid. Also worth noting is that its mainly guys who sleep with -average or better girls- who will be praised or envied the most. Guys who regularly sleep with prositutes or below everage looking women are not seen in a positive light. They do NOT get praised and are often even looked down upon.

Two questions that need to be asked:

Why do guys sometimes praise other guys for getting laid? and Why DON’T girls praise other girls for getting laid?

Why do guys praise other guys for getting laid? Guys are often very competitive and getting sex is often seen as part of the identity of a man. It is one of the various arenas in which men will compete against each other. In a way, Girls play right into this. How often have you noticed on gag where a guy says something that girls disagree with and they will condescendingly say something like “Oh I bet you never get laid” or "someone really needs to get laid" ? All the time, right. Doing this plays right into the mentality that not getting sex as a man is something to be ashamed of. However that insult is rarely-never used against a girl. there's this assumption that if a guy isn't getting laid, its because he can't but if a girl isn't getting laid, its because she is choosing not to.

Guys praise other guys for getting casual sex because guys like sex and for the typical guy, it is harder to find girls willing to hook up with you no strings attached than it is to find girls who will have sex with you after you have: taken them on 20 dates, become emottionally available to them, and made a commitment. Bassically, getting sex for free on the first date is more impressive than having to work for it. Another thing worth noting is that girls often have higher standards on things like looks and charm for the guys they hook up with. Out of 100 guys, the typical girl might be open to dating 40 of them, but she'd probably only consider casual sex with the top 10. Perhaps this girl explains it more clearly than I am:

My one night stands were with HOT men; men that I would have considered out of my league.....When it came to hooking up, my partners prerequisite were higher; at least superficially, than those I deemed necessary in a man I was dating. Seems weird to see that admission in type but quite frankly my criteria for a man I had a one night stand with were all superficially higher; looks, swag, attitude, dress, etc. When dating, the qualities in the men I sought dealt more with depth of character and intellect.

It has also been found that:

The Slut/Stud Double Standard

Summary of Study: https://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/02/12/hookinguprealities/the-most-attractive-women-have-the-least-casual-sex/

Actual Study:https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/19485565.2011.615172?journalCode=hsbi20

So by getting casual sex, its more of a complement to your sexual desirability as a man. It means that based on JUST your sexual desirability she was willing to have sex with you. You didn't have to pay to take her on dates,win her over or make any sort of longterm sacrifices. You got sex for free on the first date, sex that many of the guys she meets in the future will have to wait/work for. You won! Realistically only a handful of men have the combination of looks, confidence, and seduction skills required to rack up a high partner count and consistently get casual sex with -average or better girls-.

Why DON’T girls praise other girls for getting laid? Girls just don’t see getting casual sex as much of an accomplishment since they could easily do the same if they really wanted to. For most girls, finding guys willing to have sex without having to make a commitment isn’t a matter of Can you? Or Do you have the attributes necessary? It’s usually Does the girl actually want to? In most cases commitment is harder to get for girls than sex is. Not only that, but unlike girls, guys actually have LOWER standards for the girls they hook up with. Guys have terms like Moped to describe the girls they hook up with.

MOPED-A person of the opposite sex who is not attractive, but you would have sex with.
-She's a moped: She'd be fun to ride, but I wouldn't want any of my friends seeing me on her.

Thats not to say that most guys will sleep with anyone, because thats not true. It's just when comparing like to like (EX: average looking guy-average looking girl) the guy will likely have lower standards for casual sex than the girl does. The same study that found that more attractive men had more partner, found the reverse corelation in women:

The Slut/Stud Double Standard

Summary of Study: https://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/02/12/hookinguprealities/the-most-attractive-women-have-the-least-casual-sex/

Actual Study:https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/19485565.2011.615172?journalCode=hsbi20

Here we have the reverse, the most attractive girls reported the least ammount of casual sex. Overweight women reported having MORE partners than normal women. So if a girl were to brag about having hooked up with 20 guys she has shown that she can convince guys to accept no strings attached sex (something that is easy for most girls to get) but she hasn’t displayed whether she could actually get any of them to want to stay or make a commitment ( which is actually a challenge for most girls).

When comparing a man and a woman who have racked up 20 partners, they have done the same thing but due to the dating dynamics the degree of dificulty was different. Its similar to comparing a 6'5 guy who dunks and a 5'10 guy who dunks. They both score the same 2 points but the crowd likely to be more excited at the sight of the shorter guy dunking due to the added difficulty.

Conclusion

I'll end with this. A question I often see on Gag is :Why is it ok for men to sleep around but women?

Technically its “ok” for everyone, there aren’t any laws preventing it. Nobody is stopping you, not only are you as a woman, allowed to sleep around, you can actually get paid for it. In fact you can get paid just for taking your clothes off or doing webcam shows. Even further, you can get profit simply for offering the possibility of sex (going on dates). This girls saved $1200 a month just by going on dates and this girl decided to use desperate guys on tinder to get free pizza.

So you are allowed to sleep with as many people as you want. Sex is something most women can either get for free or profit off of. Will some people potentially refuse to date you or perhaps judge you for it? Sure, people are allowed to have their preferences for their romantic partners. Just like you may refuse to date a guy based on his sexual partners, his height or how much money he makes,or what ever set of chriteria you may have, he can refuse to date you based on your number of sexual partners.

As far as judgment, to judge means: “ to form an opinion about something or someone after careful thought". As I have discussed throughout this take, neither gender is completely immune from being judged on their sexual history. If you think about it, we judge everything,and sometimes those judgments are positive and sometimes they are negative. Unfortunately you can’t only accept the positives and avoid all the negatives. Just like you have a right to sleep with whomever you want, other people have a right to refuse to date you and form an opinion of you whether it be positive or negative. In life you will never make everyone happy, you will never have everyone on your side. But chances are, you’ll never have everyone against you either.

The end....

Try to play nicely in the comments section ;)

The Slut/Stud Double Standard
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Most Helpful Girl

  • TheINTJ

    I like how you talked about the discrepancy between how guys and how girls view promiscuity in their 'own' genders and why that's so. It shows how and why this double standard isn't imposed by just men but also some women too.

    Great take. I hope you write that second one.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Bandit74

      thanks, you should write a take too! :p

Most Helpful Guy

What Girls & Guys Said

824
  • mikemx55

    This is absolutely unscientific, just some opinion on the internet to witch I don't totally agree, but this is it:
    epicpix.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/ff_1903.jpg

    • Bandit74

      That is true, I have never heard of a fat ugly stud

    • mikemx55

      It's not really a stud, but there are fat rich men... If you know what I mean...

  • Mekkalyn

    What a well thought out take. I love your sources, too.

    Finally someone I can take seriously about this topic.

    I've always gotten so annoyed by people who claim that women are the victims of being called sluts and then men are praised for doing it. I have never in my entire life heard someone telling a guy that is was a really awesome goal to have 50+ partners and to congratulate anyone who acts like a slut.

    In my high school there were a lot of players. There were people that put up with the behavior, but no one was recommending it or praising it. And there were a lot of people (mostly girls) who WOULD call them manwhores or mansluts and look down on them for it. There were more girls than guys that would turn someone down for being a slut/whore. For men it seemed to be almost a desirable trait for a woman to have... but most girls didn't like the idea of her boyfriend having sex with a lot of casual partners.

    I just want to know where all the evidence is that supports the claim that men do not get slut shamed.

    • Bandit74

      "I just want to know where all the evidence is that supports the claim that men do not get slut shamed"

      It's just something people say when complaining about slut-shaming. They'll say " its sooo unfair men can have 20 partners and be called heroes while women are called sluts for having 5"

      Its kinda annoying when people exaggerate like that

    • Mekkalyn

      People just say whatever they want, even when they aren't true and have no evidence, and then other people pass it along through the grapevine and it becomes fact magically. It's actually really annoying to me.

    • Bandit74

      I agree

  • ObscuredBeyond

    This isn't about double standards, or anything. It's simple: there are clear, objective moral standards for human sexuality. There are those that, to varying degrees, accept it. There are those that don't.

    There are those who want respect and decency to prevail. There are others that want their bad behavior to be excused away, for selfish reasons.

    When those two ships collide - and it's impossible for them not to - there will be cracks and crevices. And not all cracks will form evenly, because not all stress points will be equal. The cookie crumbles the way it does. Everything else is just rhetoric that forms because some will do anything to get what they want, and others have varying reasons for objecting to it, good and bad ones.

    I don't look at the number of women in a man's history as some "high score." I look at it as number of times striking out at bat. If a man strikes out over five times in the game, he needs to rethink how he's playing it.

    I've only been to bed with one girl. And it didn't last. So I'm playing it very safe. I want the next one to be the last one I ever need.

  • AllThatSweetJazz

    Stipulating definitions, asking questions, analyzing reasoning, examine motivations and values, comparing with statistics and research. Very nice take, I actually learned something. Usually I'm the one that rocks up going "nüp, ya facks is wrong, bish," but this was really solid.

    https://i.imgur.com/CG5W6MR.png

  • Crazyced

    Great take. Women may judge the player, but they will still want to fuck him. And I love the 2nd quote. It is so most of the time because she knows he won't settle for her. Perfect example of their dual sexual primacy. And the best looking women having fewer partners is also very telling.

    Overall a great analysis.

    • Bandit74

      thanks

      "Women may judge the player, but they will still want to fuck him"

      Yup

  • bubble_tea

    Three of your links don't work.

    Also it's “a WHORE sleeps with everyone, a SLUT sleeps with everyone EXCEPT you”.

    • Bandit74

      damn it :((

      which 3?

    • Bandit74

      Ok i figured it out. I guess the Insert Link function didn't work when i was writing it :/

      here they are:

      dirtyinpublic.com/.../

      national.suntimes.com/.../girl-behind-tinder-games-was-just-hungry

      abcnews.go.com/.../woman-dates-free-dinner-match-15112192

      I was going by this definition...
      www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whore

      Thank for reading it tho :)

    • bubble_tea

      The two in your "conclusion" section and the one about "that girl"

    • Show All
  • Bluemax

    Fascinating, and I really mean that.

    Ima chew on this some more and we'll engage in some discussion.

  • VillaD_Rock

    The reason why girls get judged more by their sexual count is the same reason that bisexual or gay men are judged more than bisexual and lesbian women. Its because of feminity and masculinity. Not only visual traits can be catogerized in feminine and masculine catogeries, how we behave, what we do as well. A submissive men for example is not seen as masculine.

    There was a study which showed that men are attracted to fairer skin and light fearures on women and women are attracted to darker skin and hair. Women aren't into blond guys as much as men into blonde women.

    Attraction is driven by preferences based on moral assumptions. Men are subconsciously attracted to fair skin because of the skin tone's association with innocence, purity, modesty, virginity, vulnerability and goodness. Women, on the other hand, pick men with darker complexions because these are associated with sex, virility, mystery, villainy and danger.

    So in an attraction pyramid what men are most attracted to is innocence and purinity. In our society sex is not considered innocence and pure, so a women with a high partner count is seen as less innocence and pure. You could say she is seen as less feminine. The same reason a male virgin is seen as less masculine.

    To say it better, to sleep around is a masculine trait.

    Innocence, purinity and virginity is not what women are attracted to in men. Women love masculine men, because they look more virile, they look like they have lots of sex and experience. This is why men love bisexual women, it doesn't make her less feminine. A man who has sex with other men, especially if he is the passive one is seen as less masculine and not attractive to women. This is why bisexual and lesbian women have it easier in our society.

    A men with make up and tight clothes who wears a hand bag is not attractive to women and people would mock him. isn't this a double standard, too? What a men and women does or even wears is perceived different!

  • CALLOVER

    I will just share one joke and hope it will answer ur question. Why women with more partners are called sluts and men are not? The reply of an engineer is no one likes a lock that can be opened by many keys but a key is appreciated which can open many locks.

  • Lolomon

    I can't believe over weight women get more action than thinner or conventionally attractive women , I just can't see that. True, women have one night stands with men they think are really really hot where relationships they are more realistic. When my friends and I call each other hoes or sluts it's more of a complement like she just got some wiener lol good for her. Other than that I agree

    • Bandit74

      "I can't believe over weight women get more action than thinner or conventionally attractive women , I just can't see that."

      I don't know, take it up with the researched.
      Personally, I believe it. Guys are more willing to lower their standards for casual sex but they won't commit to the girls they hook up with. Meanwhile girls have higher standards for casual sex, like you agreed. Thats why you are able to hookup with "really really" hot guys. They lower their standards to get easy sex from you. But the only reason why they have sex with you is because they know the more attractive girls will generally make they work for it.

      Then when you go for a relationship you're more realistic and the average looking guy has to wait maybe months for the sex the really hot guys got with no effort.

      so in a way, for guys its more of a compliment to be considered hookup material by women.
      For girls its the opposite, its more of a complement to be relationship material.

    • Lolomon

      I don't know, maybe. Never had casual sex, but I guess if I ever do it means the guy is settling.. lol but what about a guy who has casual sex with what is considered pretty buy settles with a overweight woman? What does that mean?

    • Bandit74

      It doesn't always mean he's settling, Im just saying guys are more willing to lower their standards for causal sex.

      but what about a guy who has casual sex with what is considered pretty buy settles with a overweight woman? What does that mean?

      You mean he hooks up with an attractive girl but then settles with an overweight woman?

      I dont think that happens very often. Generally it would be the reverse, I think the girl is usually the better looking one in a relationship.

      I guess she could have a really good personality.

    • Show All
  • ccp16

    This wonderful, and really well layed out. Super interesting, with great conclusions that make tons of sense! (Even though I bet a lot of girls will deny it)

  • Scrambledagain

    Yeah. Good take. But for me, guys deserve their credit for sleeping around because a guy who can get girls that easily is a fucking genius. Even the most intelligent men on wall street still pay for high end escorts, clearly not winning in the women department. Women don't deserve that credit because it's easy if they wanted it.

  • tyber1

    Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap

    I like this take, it is honest. No one sided agendas here.

  • hellionthesage

    Well done, logical and well thought out. You even added links and studies to verify your statements, thats refreshing. I have nothing to argue against (I think thats a first). Again well done.

  • Words_and_Wisdom

    Funny. Women tend to warrantlessly "player shame" men a whole lot more than one would admit for sleeping with many women.

    I think it's dumb to shame anyone for having casual flings, man or woman.

    • Bandit74

      I agree

    • the_rake

      Yea but let's be honest, most guys aren't really going to take it as an insult.

  • Metlahaed

    Nice one bandit! I hope people learn something from this.

  • abundantlyrich

    It is possible sluts and fuckbois can be survival of the fittest😏

    • But scorned and jeered by many and hunted by others

    • Bandit74

      I don't get what you're saying :/

      Fuckboys are generally more attractive and charming than non-fuckboys but sluts are often kinda average.

    • Yeah but not many people can have sex like an animal. Rich people are known to have a high sex drive hence all those media investigation revealing having strings of affairs

    • Show All
  • MindIrae

    a key that opens a thousand locks is a master key. a lock that all keys can open is a bad lock.

  • the_rake

    This is a good post, and feeds into my belief that slut-shaming is not a real thing.

  • damnwinter

    To me, a slut is a woman who displays an unappropriate trashy sexualized behaviour, making others uncomfortable. This includes sleeping with people to get what you want, sleeping with people who have significant others or just messing with them, 'for fun'. It has nothing to do with how much sex or how many partners that person has. And it definitely has nothing to do with how sexy the person it - it's HOW they use their sexuality. I consider myself a good looking person, but I'd be very uncomfortable with using this in any of the ways mentionned above.
    P. S. I usually call women who have sex for money 'prostitutes' and I feel sorry for them because I acknowledge the fact that most of them do this simply because they had no access to better opportunities and they probably hate what they do. Others, the 'escorts', may like their job and if they want to sell sex, whatever. Worse things have been sold.

    • Bandit74

      So are you saying you disagree with what I wrote?

    • damnwinter

      Not at all, I do think there are double standards there. I was answering more to the definition of 'slut' as 'someone who has/had multiple sexual partners'. My point was that it goes a bit further than that, at least for me :)

    • Bandit74

      that's the dictionary definition if slut. I gave a different definition for what I think it means.

  • front2back

    This is something I've been trying to say forever.

    Both men and women want to eat their cake and have it too. Guys want to sleep around while still being respected, and girls want that too. They also don't respect members of the opposite sex that engage in the behavior that they themselves engage in or at least want the freedom to engage in. Slut shaming attacks those who judge women on the amount of sexual partners they've had, but there's no such movement for men (however, that might change soon, as"fuckboy" is becoming a term closely related to the meaning of "slut" among women). However, women don't want a guy that sleeps around a lot either.

    I'm not saying judging someone's sexual pickiness or lack thereof is wrong, we're humans an we judge, however, I am trying to say is that this isn't a unilateral thing. Both men and women judge, and both men and women dislike those of the opposite sex who sleep around but want that same privilege for themselves.

    • "Fuckboy" is a dumb ass term. People who say that in such context have never stepped inside a urban area.

  • Watermelonoma

    Interesting! I found this odd though..

    “63% of men say they lose respect for women who hook up frequently, while only 41% say they feel the same way about men who engage in the same behavior. However 70% of women say they lose respect for men who engage in casual sex, while less than 60% lose respect for other women."

    So 41% of women said they loose respect for guys who hook up, but the number jumps to 70% when the term casual sex is used? What's the difference between casual sex and hooking up? lol

    • Bandit74

      No, its 63% of men lose respect for women who hookup frequently and 41% of men lose respect for men who hookup frequently.

      70% of women lose respect for men who hookup frequently, and 60% of women lose repsect for women who hookup frequently.

      What's the difference between casual sex and hooking up? lol I just wrote casual sex by mistake. It should say hook up frequently.

      You look at the article here...

      www.hookingupsmart.com/.../

    • ahh i guess i read it wrong -_-

    • Bandit74

      no worries

  • spoonman2014

    I have an interesting question, is there a way to get rid of the scarlet A? I was a late bloomer in life and even in the beginning of the late bloomer phase I have had so many girls either A. Assume I was cheating on the girlfriend I don't or didn't have B. shoot me down instantly or C. feel like they were going to be the next fly on my windshield D. assume i'm a player. And no matter what I have done or try to do they keep me at bay in the relationship department.
    I mean I enjoy the compliments and everything but it'd be nice to not be stereotyped in that manner all the time

  • DeenaGupro

    sex is sex.. everybody should partake, if they opt to.

  • OfAfricandescent

    Interesting article

  • david_smith

    Interesting take.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah I like this take. Damn with sources as well, it's like a published paper haha.

    I think it's all this judging that leaves both good mean and good women acting innocent around each other.

    Can u help me out on a question about a good girl and a good guy? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2141337-who-would-a-sweet-fun-girl-flirt-be-with-have-dirty-sex-with-based

  • Anonymous

    Thank you. Just thank you.

    • Bandit74

      lol, for what?

    • Anonymous

      For making it clear to people. So many people don't understand this...

    • Bandit74

      oh, ok you're welcome

  • Anonymous

    I haven't read the original article yet, but you seem to have a well-analyzed piece of prose.

  • Anonymous

    You make some great points. Slut shaming doesn't happen with just bitter, jealous guys who aren't getting any. I see girls slut shame other girls all the time.

    Personally, I think a person's sex life or lack of is no ones business about but their own.

    That being said, what about the virgin double standard? Where a virgin guy is a loser but a virgin girl is to be respected? I'm not a virgin but I remember before I lost it at 21, people who knew/found out I was one acted like I was already the 40 year old virgin and I was just fucking 21.

    • Bandit74

      For a guy, being a virgin is easy, getting sex is hard.
      For girls, getting sex is easy, resisting temptation and staying a virgin is hard.

      Also for a variety of reasons, guys often like the idea of being with a virgin.

      Girls are generally neutral about male vurginity, or in many cases prefer a guy to not be a virgin.

    • Anonymous

      It's usually guys who shame other virgin guys for the most part. One thing I've also learned is that for a guy who's a virgin or just inexperienced that it's not a big deal unless they make it one themselves. Fake it till you make it. If a girl likes you, she most likely won't care. If the girl declines solely based on the fact you're a virgin or inexperienced then she's not right for you anyways. Besides people are pleased in different ways. It's all about communication and willing to learn.

    • Anonymous

      You can still be a lousy lay and have had tons of partners/experience and vice versa.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous

    I call guys "h0es" too, they aren't special that they get a better term like "manwh0re". A ho is a ho

  • Anonymous

    So does that mean very physically attractive men and women rarely ever hook up? Personally I find the only people who call women sluts are other women. Usually as a bitter, jelous remark. My current girlfriend of a year once called the girl i first had sex with a slut." Sluts" do tend to have higher standards also. Most girls with go out with the first guy who shows an interest in them. Give it a few months and she'll herself to him sexually. To be honest most women marry the first guy who asks.

    • Bandit74

      I wouldn't say rarely, but acording to the study, more attractive girls report less casual partner, are less likely to have sex right away, and are more likely to pursue relationships.

      For guys it was the reverse, the most attractive guys are more likely to get sex right away, and have more casual partners.

      I think the attractive girls often wait on the sidelines for a relationship. The attractive guys lower their standarfs and hookup with the average looking girls and maybe the ocassonal attractive girl.

      Yeah, girls are more likely to slut shame and spread runors. Guys might just refuse to commit to them.

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