What's a good comeback when someone jokingly calls you old?

Question

What's a good comeback when someone jokingly calls you old? Like a way witty, confident people would reply...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Mine are...

1. Yes, getting older tends to happen when you don't die.

2. What does it feel like to be bitter and jealous of me (and walk away).

3. (If you know them) ask them to come closer and then whisper in their ear (one day this will happen to you, muahahahhahahaaha)

4. "Oh hey, thanks."
If the goal of the joke was to make you feel bad, a thank-you is a good way to disarm someone who thought they'd get a rise out of you.

bethshepherd · Accepted Answer

Betty White is one of my favourite people, still working, smart, driven at such an old age, like a young person trapped in an older body, so vital and exciting. Age is just an accident. I also wonder why people are in awe of people who get pregnant as if they have done something really difficult such as studying for qualifications for years and passing an exam.

JenSCDC · Accepted Answer

I think the best reply to an issue of age belongs to Reagan (or more probably his speechwriters): "I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience"

Brokenheartedx · Accepted Answer

Tell them you’ll take their opinion when they buy their own underwear until then ask what the new toy is in the happy meal this week as ur 2 year old niece and nephew likes collecting them

Máiiréad · Accepted Answer

SING THIS

Jjpayne · Accepted Answer

At least I grew up in a better decade than you... at least I know how to read a paperback book... I know how to talk to people, not talk to screens... At least I had more nature/ got out more... this could go on forever... there is always a comeback.

Best way to play it, is to own it! Cough, grandma/grandpa cough, yup back in my day... little whippersnappers... have fun with it, if you own it, you can have fun and so will they!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

When that last Star Wars movie came out, Carrie Fischer got tons of questions about no longer looking like she did in Return Of The Jedi with the slave girl costume. Finally, she got so pissed off at the journalists, she gave them a lecture about aging and finished with: "Youth is not an accomplishment." I think it's brilliant retort. I always thought she was a little crazy. Now I have nothing but respect for her.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

There is a story that Sir Winston Churchill was approaching a doorway with a younger man at his side. When they reached the door, the younger man motioned for Churchill to proceed first, and said to Sir Winston, "Age before beauty."

As Churchill proceeded through the doorway, he briefly paused, looked back at the young man, and said, "Pearls before swine."

Anonymous · Answer

It's best to not let them get to you since they are trying to be a bully and a bully wants a reaction. Normally, if someone is making fun of someone else for something, that usually means they're self-conscious about that. They're projecting it onto you and trying to make it your problem.

You can say something like, "Thank you." With a smile (if you are doing this in person). Even though you know they're trying to be a brat, you can act like your age doesn't bother you. You see their comment as a compliment. They would have to be a huge asshole to point out they were trying to make you feel bad. Most people would never do that. They'll just get quiet and maybe not make another attempt at it unless they're sadistic lol.

Another thing you could say which I notice is a great comeback and it gets the person everytime. It's so simple too. Calling them "a little kid." It's funny when someone is young they don't like being called kid or little kid. It's like the worst insult in their eyes since they want to be taken seriously/older. If they make a jab at you, just call them a kid and they'll be speechless. I've done it before and it works.

Another way is just to tell them not to speak to you like that. Be assertive but respectful. Most people are not expecting to be called out and confronted. So they'll be surprised and embarrassed, especially if they're doing it in front of other people.

If they don't change then never speak to them again. Life is too short to waste your time on hurtful people who take pleasure in making you feel bad. It's better, if you can, to rid yourself of those type of people. If this is at work, report them if you haven't already told the person to stop. If it's just some social setting, don't talk to them. I hope that helps.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

Anything can be a comeback at this point. Example! Sure i am old! But when i was at your age i had my own place and own car 🤷‍♂️.

Yea! Still young and lame at all possible ways, hold to your phone dearly kid.

I am old enough to give a shit about your opinion little one.

So you are younger! Amuse me child.

Genius! If i am born 20 years before you means that i am old, you damn right i am old... Thank god i am old.

Youngin! What is 6 x 6? Yao kid! Describe me a road? Any road? Just one road?

Hey kid! Drive this

What's a good comeback when someone jokingly calls you old?

I bet the most dangerous thing you ever did is going outside, isn't it.

These are very vanilla light. In person! I can make them run away so fast.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

-- If this person is older than you:

Just look at them horribly confused, like,' Who're you calling old?' and say," I'm X years younger than you," or whatever your age difference is.

-- Use their arguements against them, especially when they don't really know you. Online, someone told me to sound young cause I said," When I was in college," when they remember when Youtube started. I graduated 3 years ago, and I don't remember when Youtube started. I told them: that's how old I am. ;-)

-- If they're younger, I just own it. Cause they might not know everything about me, and I'm fucking proud of myself for even still being alive, for even still standing, on my own. Cause if they had ANY idea, they'd be AMAZED this little girl here fights for herself EVERY day, on her own, and still is standing.

Just a quiet dismantling, logical.

MaazHussain · Answer

There are many ways you could respond depending on the situation and tone of the comment. Here are a few possible comebacks:

"I'm not old, I'm just vintage."
"I may be getting older, but at least I'm getting wiser too."
"Age is just a number, but maturity is a choice."
"I'm not old, I'm a classic."
"I prefer to think of myself as seasoned, like a fine wine."
"I'm not old, I'm just well-preserved."
"I'm not old, I'm just chronologically gifted."

Choose a comeback that fits your personality and the context of the situation. Remember to say it with confidence and a smile.

Bricealan · Answer

First of all, when someone makes a smart ass remark like that, it is never jokingly said, and it can be really malicious from someone that is younger. I remember when I was in my 20's I made an ugly comment like that to a man who was our basketball referee at work. I did not remember saying it but he reminded me years later, and I realized just how stupid, and thoughtless I was at that point in my life.

He was obviously hurt by my comment, and I have never been able to forget my thoughtlessness

Anonymous · Answer

I was walking into a store. I had a few little girls (strangers), maybe seven or eight years old... come up to me. One yells "Hello, old man." (I didn't take offense, I doubt they meant to be mean or rude on purpose, I think they just think any adult who looks mom/dad's age is "old" to them, and kids that age don't always have tact).

I am in my early 40's, I have glasses, and some gray hair, though most is still dark. It's not all gray. I don't shuffle. I'm probably around their dad's age.

So I say: “Hello, small infant child.” ::They look offended; I walk off, laughing::

If the person is older, I'm like... "Dude, you gotta check your contact lens/glasses prescription." I mainly laugh at them and make fun of them.

DARKCLOUD1945X · Answer

I just say I hope you live as long as I have and let it go. I believe most people my age have at one time stopped and reflected about their lives. Things that mark passage in life little things big things milestones most start at about age 11 or 12 years old. Your first girlfriend kiss the first time feeling a breast a vagina eating a vulva getting first blowjob. {this also pertains to women in their perspective. I am not trying to make this only a male thing } first steady girl and break up wedding death of parent birth of children death of friend's relatives. God forbid the death of a child. Child or children getting older getting married birth of grandkids the death of a spouse life afterward. All these things and many many other thigs too numerous to mention and yes, I am old, and your life may be better or worse than mine but we are OLD Do not forget. That there are people older than us!

bamesjond0069 · Answer

It's different for men and women but when girls call me old I say "fuck yes I am and you love it" if she says no ill be like well you're flirting with me dont play. If she won't admit that I'll end the interaction like walk off, end the date, etc because she's delusional or just rude.

If a guy calls me old if he's out of shape I say "yeah and I can lift more than you haha" or if he's fit I'll say "yeah but I earn more than you"

I always lean into it but balance it. It's not something you can deny. So never deny something clearly true.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

I think the confident response would be not to react through emotions. If going to respond, then any cutdown back would just show they were able to get to you. Depending on context, a wity confident response would be something like, "well then you going to really think I'm old when I tell you..."

Guy13 · Answer

If it was a guy and he called you "Old GRL" then: Okay, I'm old... hey, what does expired cake mix and old guys have in common? (Glaring and Sassy Eyes) Both have a "hard" time getting a rise... I'm a simple push start engine at my age and you're all broken down in the garage without transmission.

reixun · Answer

"Shut up, I could give birth to you" and they'll busy themselves with trying to count if that's possible.

Anonymous · Answer

I mean I crack jokes about needing to grab my walker or beating people with my cane lol. I don’t know. Old jokes don’t really bother me whenever I’ve gotten them. I tease my friends about being old and they just respond that they’re only a year older than I am/to get out of here with that nonsense.

Unknown29 · Answer

John Wesley lived in the 1700s and was an evangelist. He was walking on a road and a man stepped in the way. John asked would you step aside sir? He replied “I never get out of the way for a fool”. John tipped his hat, stepped around him and said “I always do””

JustMeL120 · Answer

Calling someone old is not a joke. Its an insult and there its not need for it. Its rude especialy to a woman. If i was you i would not bother looking for a comeback just dont spend time with this person.

abc3643 · Answer

Well, at least I can remember __(*)____. What were you doing then? Oh, I remember! Swimming in your father's balls. (*) = something important that occurred before the joker was born.

pervertedjester · Answer

"Does your Mommy know you're out past curfew?" or "That's so cute coming from the poster child for abortion." Depends on how mean you want to go with the joke.

Constatine · Answer

I haven't been called old before but i guess i'll go for... walks to a window and look at my reflection.. " Oh my god , when did that happen " 🤭

FreyaRed · Answer

Was never confronted with that - better 30 and spicy than 20 and rancid  - the apple helps us to comprehend, best fruits are the ripe ones - really? If I look at you I thought we are both in same age.

Confettiguy · Answer

I may be old, but think about what I've learned about life, think about how much I've figured out about life. You're still stumbling all over yourself trying to figure out how you fit in to life. Something that I already learned. Good Luck, I hope you make the right decisions, because it's a mess if you don't. Don't ask me for help, remember, I'm too old.

whyisitso · Answer

I would just reply: did you already collect all the pokemons yet?  Or: what? Are you younger than me?  Something like that depending on the person and the situation

Anonymous · Answer

"I may be old, but I can still kick your ass you little punk."
"Just wait until you are 18, then meet me in the parking lot like a man."
Or if you're not violent:
"I'm older and wiser, not young and foolish."
"So what I'm hearing is that you're jealous of the music and movies of my generation, because most of what you have now sucks."
It depends on who is saying it.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Since I am old, I tell them I lived long enough to get this old so I must bedoing something right.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

And just like me, your balls will drop someday too. Maybe, but I still have faster swimmers. Really? Well, then tell your mom to quit calling me.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Not sure why u would need a comeback. Age is the alternative to dying. Average person of my demographic coming from where I came from rarely lives to see 25 so, I'm glad I can get every day I can.

coverboyoutlawbrady · Answer

I'm 69, still possess boyish good looks and libido (like that, gals?) and a 160 IQ. I don't give two craps about being called "old." (Besides, LOTS of hot younger ladies LOVE us handsome older lads.)

Whitewulf · Answer

Yes you are right I’m old, now let’s get those diapers changed.

Stacey55666 · Answer

...

MCheetah · Answer

"I'm sorry I'm not pedophile-approved for you, but I'll embrace my age like you embrace little Amanda."

WalterRadio · Answer

"Must be why I am rich and you are not" "If I'm so old, why is my hot girlfriend younger than you?"

superchan2011 · Answer

I would say opinions are like asses, everyone has one.

OldWomanBySoul · Answer

"In That case i can be you daddy/mommy" then wink lmfao

FunkyMonkee · Answer

YOU might be too young for this one but, I usually say, "I may be old but I got to see all the cool bands!!"

MikeInHawaii · Answer

Here’s a classic. Even Walter Mondale had to laugh.

dano65 · Answer

I have forgot more History, Politics, Literature and the Spanish language than you'll ever know. This is not true in all cases so I'd think before I say this.

Slartybartfast · Answer

You're ugly and stupid, one day you'll be old ugly and stupid.

TadCurious · Answer

Just say: "Well I won't hold your youth and inexperience against you."

Lara_Croft · Answer

no idea, but would love to know-i'm the one who usually calls people old...

strateguy632 · Answer

i AM older but not old yet." can use this at 70 too!

Zoyter2 · Answer

That's the cost for having such incredible wisdom.

Anonymous · Answer

Smile, tell them they’re hilarious, then walk outside to the parking lot and slash their tires.  Let’s see them laugh when they’re calling to get towed to the tire shop.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

You could tell them they will be old too if they live as long as you do

achezc · Answer

It's not about the age but about how mature you are to be able to relate with someone my age…

ronaldo75 · Answer

I am old honey but you will NOT look this good when you get to my age. Hell, you won't look this good next year.

LittleSally · Answer

With age comes wisdom... And that's not meant to be funny per se... it's just true (in most cases).

Other_Tommy_Wiseau · Answer

If you can't think of something on the spot to respond with and have to ask, you probably should stop trying

TroyDT · Answer

Hasn't happened to me yet, but I'd like to think I'd come back with, "I don't think I look that bad for a guy of (my then current age +20 or 25)."

HungTexan · Answer

Youth is not an accomplishment, but age is an accident!

Jemini_Crocket · Answer

I'd say something like "maybe I'm old but look at all that experience" xD

Skippbo21 · Answer

I just look behind me to see who they are talking about & if someone is there I simply look & point as if that person is talking to the one behind me & if no one is there I say damn they move pretty fast for an old person

bean2k21 · Answer

I'm not too old to mail you a pimp bomb. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

Booodles · Answer

Man you old folks need to work on your comebacks... haha just joking, shoulda said while I was in uniform you were still in your dad's nutsack so I'll take your opinion in when you finish that happy meal

SteelerNation50 · Answer

Did you steal that joke from your mom cause it's just as old and used as she is.

Theodorable · Answer

Say, "I'm not old even though your sister calls me daddy!"

TheNameIsRob · Answer

That’s not cool, I didn’t make fun of your youth and inexperience. Stole that from Ronald Reagan

smilelots · Answer

Being older then you makes me wiser and more experienced in most things , so being old is being seasoned, smiles

jojouzumaki · Answer

I guess just say “Indeed I am, since my age is higher than your IQ.”

Ds4739 · Answer

I know, right. I was there when God made dirt

Nik1hil · Answer

"Still younger than the stories of your mama's legs in the air."

CTHuskyMan · Answer

My reply is usually "well, it beats the alternative"! ;)

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