Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
It’s fine if you don’t care. I’m not asking you to.
I’m only sharing because I’m bored, but hopefully you will be entertained in some way. Maybe you’ll learn something whether that’s what to do or what not to do. Receive it how you will☺️
Ugh, where do I begin...?
My Past “Examples”
Not gonna lie...my parents were definitely not the best. My mom was and still is a religious nut.
For those who might be triggered by that sentence—no, I am not saying that her having a faith is bad or makes people crazy. I’m just saying in this case, she just does the absolute most 😂
her views are just kind of extreme, that’s all.
But anyways, My dad was and still is the exact opposite of her.
My mom had me young and my father was just like any other teenager—he was selfish as hell. And because he is a man he did not feel very obligated to take responsibility because he was not the one carrying the child (me). So yeah, he wasn’t really in my life like that. My parents “dated” on and off but it never stuck and they both eventually moved on. My dad got married and divorced three times, only one of them was actually worth fighting for but eh, life. My mom had boyfriends here and there...a couple were abusive, the others were decent. So yeah...my parents are definitely no role models of mine, especially when it comes to choosing romantic partners. Has any of that affected me in any way?
Eh, very little. Don’t get me wrong, in the moment, these things were putting me on an emotional roller coaster. But at the end of day, when I was able to walk away from them and their ridiculous bullshit, I just learned to NEVER be like them in any way, shape or form. I’m not some bitter adult angry about her troubled past. I’m just grateful for negative figures I had in my life. They taught me that I can do so much better 😂
Relationships
Ugh. I’m not exactly PROUD of myself... but let’s be real, I’m not ashamed either.
Thinking about it kind of gives me a headache tho 😂 so I’ll make this one as short as possible
The first one was sort of a child romance turned to high school sweetheart kind of thing, ya, A LOT of time wasted obviously 😂
I had mental issues, he had mental issues, adulthood came and as much as I tried to be there for him at his lower point, he chose to not return the favor... and long story short, that whole relationship ended very badly.
cringy af.
Second relationship was soon after the first one. Most would be like “oh, that’s bad, he was just a rebound”. Wrong. Everything between he and I were real. This relationship was not toxic and this guy helped me heal through a lot because when we got together, I was at my LOWEST point.
He is the first guy I had sex with and for the most part, I do not regret it.
We ended things when I went away college. This breakup was respectful, and mutual, and we are still great friends till this day. We did not continue romantically simply because he decided to go to Africa while I decided to go to Florida 😂 it was okay. We had our time, it came and gone.
Third relationship was with a woman!!!
Now, this is the first time I actively pursued my feelings for a female although I knew LONG AGO that women were my preference... but because my mom is...my mom 😂 I decided to shove all of those feelings in box with a padlock.
This new relationship with this woman was ***magical***. She was just a magical woman 😂
Seriously, I called her unicorn. Everything about her was mesmerizing. We had so much in common and we did have sex. But she broke up with me because I had other priorities. I didn’t fight for her because at the time, I just did not have the energy (I was dealing with some issues with my best friend who I wrote about in my previous Take)
I never saw her again. It sucks, but...o well.
Damn. That wasn’t short at all, I’m sorry 😐
My attitude towards sex 😒
All of my sexual experiences have been great. But it was never something I was genuinely looking forward to. It just happened and even though I enjoyed myself every time, it wasn’t really something I considered a “need”.
I did get sick. I had my reproductive organs removed for the sake of my health and during that time I didn’t care for sex at all, and I wasn’t exactly allowed. But once my doctor cleared me for sexual activity (not too long ago), all of a sudden I was so horny 😂 it was like my body was waking up from the longest nap ever.
I didn’t care for a relationship, I just wanted sex but not with a complete stranger so I found a friends with benefits.
It was with a man, mainly because all of my female friends were either taken or strictly dickly.
He and I were great! We had boundaries. We never made it weird. We were respectful of each other. It didn’t last very long because I ended it.
I was just getting to the point where I was like “this is so pointless” 😂
I have ALWAYS considered sex as pointless. I mean, it’s great n all...but it’s pointless 👀 for me.
I had fun. People pleased me. I pleased others. It was nice. But I just don’t care as much as other people do.
I can live without it 😏
And people have said “oh you just haven’t been intimate with the RIGHT person”
No.
I have loved everyone who I’ve given myself to (with the exception of the fwb), for very different reasons. Not saying that I won’t ever have sex again, because I truly do not know and do not plan on it. But My body and my mind just aren’t capable of keeping up the sexual hunger whether there is a mental/emotional Connection or not.
So yeah...
I can see myself without sex, living happily. I can even see myself without a romantic relationship, living happily. I’m just not sex or relationship material. And I don’t care to improve on any of that.
*Dating*
I like to go on dates, but that’s all they are.
i will go out with someone for a night, it will be cheap as hell but I still like to have fun!
I love to feel sexy and flirt, but, trust me things will never go far 😂
But anyways...
The only love I have always desired is the kind from friendships and (possibly) children—if I am lucky to adopt.
My strongest, most fulfilling relationship was the one I had with my long time BEST FRIEND.
We were nothing more than besties 😂
No physical attraction, no romantic pull...
But I consider her my soulmate.
She died. But that’s okay. I don’t want to replace HER. But I do want that kind of bond that we had before she passed away.
i wrote about her in this Take:
I’m sure most of this isn’t very relatable but I hope you enjoyed anyway ☺️😘 by the way, this is not some persuasive or argumentative article. I’m only sharing my thoughts. I guess it’s sort of a response to the overall commentary from my friends/family and strangers here on G@G when I have shared my *unorganized* thoughts on these topics before. If you disagree, cool. Don’t be like me 😂✌🏾
Love yourself💕
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