Family & Friends

My Biggest Heart Break

Hopefully this will be short... we shall see.

Today I’ve been so low of energy and I’ve just been depressed and kind of angry. Today is the anniversary of my best friends death. She died two years ago. This is our story.

My Biggest Heart Break

How we first met

On my 10th birthday, I wasn’t doing anything special really. I just spent the whole day outside, with no friends. At the time, I lived near a grave site so of course my dumb ass decided to get all curious...I walked to the grave site. I sat down somewhere and I cried. I was just depressed and going through some stuff. I know, I was young...so what? Not every childhood is total sunshine. Anyways. That’s when she showed up. I was crying on a dusty bench, in the middle of a graveyard, and she sat beside me. I didn’t know her, I never really knew why she was there tbh. But her comfort was exactly what I needed.

Who dis be?

After the graveyard thing...I hadn’t seen her at all for months. But apparently, she lived in my neighborhood and I didn’t realize that she was the same person everyone was talking about. People were even talking about her in the school that I was attending. It was all negative. People thought she was a troublemaking bully. And it wasn’t until she had a schedule chance that I knew who she really was. Yes. She had a bad rep. But if I’m being perfectly honest, so did I. I would get into fights at school often but I still kept those grades up! 👀😋

Anyways, we got to know each other a little more. I had no idea that she went to my school or that she lived close by. But once I did, we were pretty much inseparable. We even got into fights TOGETHER. We would dish out cans of whoop ass just as much as we were receiving them 😕

Spilling the beans...even from long distance

i moved around a lot, my dad was in the Air Force and my mom was never really into staying in one spot.

So I had to beg my mom to buy me a phone so I could keep in touch with my best friend over the years. Her and I continued to talk shit and have laughs over the phone. She would tell me about her secret boyfriends and me...?

I wasn’t 100% sure of what I was into. But when I did figure it out, she was the first person I can out to. And like a real friend, she supported me and helped me deal with the backlash that I got from my mom when I tried to come out to her.

Surprise, surprise bishh 😚

To my utter shock, when I transferred schools for the billionth time, she was there!!! My bestie, actually there with me to embrace the rest of high school...I was beyond happy 😆

We both had our struggles tho. I was dealing with major depression and ptsd at the time. And she was dealing with an abusive dad. We were each other’s support system.

We would constantly brainstorm different ways to escape our realities. For example, we seriously thought about joining the circus 👀 I was flexible, she was entertaining...we thought we’d be so perfect as a duet.

Trouble

Moving into our legal adulthood, she started getting sick. She was throwing up and losing her vision...I was just beyond scared because neither of us knew what was going on.

But we found out she had tumors in her brain.

I can tell she fought really hard to stay strong. But when nature calls i guess...

She didn’t have very long to live. So we did a few silly things together to lift up her spirits before it was time.

Eventually I lost my best friend.

More trouble 😒

Moving on from that was hard...like...BEYOND hard. But I tried to find myself in the midst of all the sadness.

i even decided that I should get checked, because I know my family has a history of cancer and I watched my favorite person in the world get taken from it..

And you know what? I tested positive of uterine cancer.

i know. That sounds fucking crazy. I had a very hard time believing it myself when I got the news 😂 I’m just feeling like...damn 😂 death must really have a crush on me or something 👀

i immediately thought I was going to die, because I wasn’t responding well to the treatments at first, but then I had to make the decision to have my reproductive organs removed to save myself.

so... I mean, I’m getting better. Luckily, they caught it early. I am very fortunate to even have a chance. But it still makes me extremely sad that I got to live and she didn’t.

she is the only one that really understood me. She was a genuine woman of many different talents. Her love was infectious, and sometimes aggressive. But I appreciate everything that she ever was. And she still lives in my heart today.

i know this was a shitty take. I have done better. I’m sorry. I just needed to get some emotions out.

have a nice day...I probably won’t be responding until tomorrow. Thanks for reading.

*Nov. 11. 16 💕*

My Biggest Heart Break
Post Opinion