Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I see you've cum back for more... Can't get enough huh π
Hope you enjoy, or you could at least
"fake it like a female"ππ
Anniversary
A man and a woman were approaching their 50th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, the woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. On their anniversary night, at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were 50 years ago." The man replies, "Madge, hon, that's because they are sitting in your soup.
Soup's on
An old man and his wife are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the old lady bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super pussy!" And the old man says, "I'll have the soup.
Bathroom sex
A couple were in the bathroom getting ready for work when the husband looked at his wife and said, "I gotta have you!" He backed her up against the bathroom door, pulled down her panties, and ravaged her. He knew he was doing great because she screamed and wiggled more than she ever had before. When he was finished, he started putting his clothes back on and when he noticed his wife still writhing against the door he said, "That was the best, honey. You've never moved like that before, you didn't hurt yourself, did you?" And his wife replied, "No, no. I'll be okay once I can get this old doorknob out of my ass."
A five-year-old boy asked his friend what a penis was. His friend's response was that he did not know and he would ask his dad. That evening the second boy asked his dad. His dad gladly exposed himself to his son and, holding his penis in one hand, said, "Son, this is a penis. In fact, if you take a closer look you will notice that this is a perfect penis." The next day the boy saw his friend at recess and called him behind a hedge. The boy exposed himself and whispered, "This is a penis. In fact, if it were three inches shorter it would be a perfect penis.
Three Blondes
Three blonde sisters decided to get married on the same day to save
their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to
reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their
honeymoon at home.
Later that night their mother couldn't sleep. She went to the
kitchen for a cup of tea and had to pass all her daughters' rooms.
From the oldest daughter's room she could hear screaming. "That's
normal," she thought.
From the middle daughter's room she heard laughing.
"That's normal, too," she thought.
Finally she passed the youngest daughter's room, and to her
surprise, heard nothing.
The next morning after the husbands all were gone, the mother
asked the oldest daughter about the screaming.
"You always said, 'if it hurt, I should scream.'"
"You're absolutely right, sweetheart."
The mother turns to the second daughter and asks, "Now, why were
you laughing?"
"You always said, 'if it tickled, I could laugh.'"
"True enough, honey," the mother smiling, remembering her
newlywed days. She turns to the third daughter,
"now it's your turn baby. Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"
"Mom, don't you remember? You always told me never to talk with my
mouth full!"
ORAL SEX-AN ODE TO LOVE
Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl
Slide up and down, use your tongue
And feel the precum start to run
So when the fuck's he gonna cum
Just, when you can't take anymore
You hear your lover's mighty roar
And when he hits that real high note
You feel it oozing down your throat
Salty, fishy, sticky, stuff
Okay, already that's enough
Let's switch you say, before you gag
And what revenge, your on the rag
Lady goes to buy a pet. In store, sees a frog in a rosewood
box, asks for the price.
This frog is worth $4000, madam.
WHAT? why is it so expensive?
Well, you see, it specially trained to perform cunnilingus.
I see...I'll take it.
She takes the frog home, showers, puts silk gown, perfume,
opens box on bed. The frog doesn't perform so she calls the
shop.
I'll be right over, says the shopowner.
Moments later, the shopowner sees the problem, tells the frog,
'All right now, Look hard, it's the LAST TIME I'LL show you!!"
I hope you were somewhat entertained.... Enjoy your weekend
And, thanks for reading π
Brainsbeforebeauty"π
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