Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Racial dirty talk in the bedroom?

I need some advice here. I'm in a interracial friends with benefits situation. He loves to talk dirty, which normally I'm not against. Everything out of his mouth is racial though. He talks about my "white pussy" and "white ass" or his "n***** dick" or "n***** cum". I feel like he is maybe wanting me to join in but I don't want to offend him or make him angry. I don't know what the rules are on this kind of thing. Should I join in? Should I just let him say the racial things?
Updates:
+1 y
Thanks for the replies. Well most of them anyway. I should've known a race question would bring out some anonymous trolls. Anyway, he absolutely wanted me to join in and get nasty. We talked at length about it. This whole arrangement is for sex. It's an interracial fantasy for both of us. We're not under any illusions that's it's anything more. I know that it will eventually get old and the thrill will wear off and we'll both move on. What's wrong with experimenting and having fun while it lasts
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I feel like a lot of people feel this pressure for dirty talk to be reciprocal / symmetrical... and that pressure is DEFINITELY overblown.
    Nope.
    Doesn't have to be symmetrical.
    It's perfectly ok for one person to be the dirty filthy wordsmith, and for the other person to just bask in the pure awesomeness of those dirty filthy words.

    This is really just like anything else in the bedroom. Very rarely is ANYTHING symmetrical in the bedroom -- and that very asymmetry, in fact, is what creates a lot, if not most, of the allure of the bedroom!
    I mean, think about how awful domination/submission would be, if everything had to be fifty-fifty all the time... ugh. That seems like a fate worse than death, tbh.

    That's ESPECIALLY the case with any sort of "specialist" niche, like dirty talk -- and DOUBLE ESPECIALLY for a specialty-within-a-specialty, like racial dirty talk.
    I mean, there's like 1,058,972,589,145,432 ways to get something like that wrong.
    There's a lot of ways to get it right, too -- but far, far more ways to get it wrong.

    Here's an analogy:
    Ever heard someone try to cuss in a foreign language? Like, if you're a native speaker of English, ever heard a foreigner try to swear?
    "Motherbitch!"
    "Son of hell!"
    "I fuck your ass!"
    You get me. It's... really bad. It's ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to swear competently in a foreign language. To do so requires true talent, almost beyond belief (although it's taken for granted by native speakers of the language).

    Dirty talk isn't THAT hard, thankfully... but it's still pretty hard. If you're sailing in uncharted waters, yr pretty likely to run up onto an iceberg sooner rather than later -- especially if you feel uncomfortable in the first place. If you are not in yr element, yr attempts at dirty talk will probably turn off yr partner, or else just make him laugh. LOL

    I say just enjoy it. If he is turning you on... just let him do his thing. DO NOT feel any need to "reciprocate", because THERE IS NO SUCH NEED.
    Just as there is no need to reciprocate ANYTHING ELSE in the bedroom.
    Nope.

  • Well how come it's ok to say white but you can't say black? if he's black that's the truth and you should be comfortable calling him like that but to be honest why even talk about white or black? it seems as if he's happy he got a "white" chick and your his object /trophy... it's not nice...

    • Well to be fair, this is an arrangement for sex only. It's not a relationship and never will be. The racial angle is a fantasy for both of us. Being white, I'm less sensitive about racial issues so I was just looking for advice on how far to carry this.

  • If you're not into the racial dirty-talk, joining in will only make him think that you enjoy it while in reality, you're pulling your hair out.
    Tell him! Tell him that you like the dirty talk, but would prefer that he cut the racial part of it.

    • It's not that I don't like it, I just don't know if I'm supposed to join in and play along with the fantasy or is that just for him? Talking dirty is one thing but turning it racial and maybe using the n-word is another. He does this every time we have sex, so he likes it but does he want it from me?

    • You don't need to use any derogatory terms, I'm sure 'black' would suffice. But I'd say it's best to ask HIM if he wants you to do it back or not.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Just let him say it unless you can find a way to ask him if he wants you to join in... I'm in an interracial marriage with a white Hispanics but we don't do the racial dirty talk during sex.. I say ask him if he wants you to join in but don't feel obligated.

  • You should absolutely talk to him about it and ask him what he wants. That's a real minefield.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 15

  • " I don't want to offend him or make him angry." If you can't/won't speak up... you can't complain.

    If you find it a turn-off offensive, let him know.

  • Well are you comfortable with the idea of it? You know you can just talk to him about it.

    • I would only be comfortable with it if I knew that's what he wanted from me. I guess I can ask but I feel awkward even bringing it up.

    • You can't feel awkward talking about that, he clearly thinks it's normal to bring it up. If that's something you need to talk about to feel comfortable, then do it.

    • I suppose I should probably just act like the 25-year old adult I am and talk about it instead of trying to read between the lines. Apparently this is something he is comfortable with himself.

    • Show All

  • ask him limits, don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. have fun

  • Tell him you love his 12 inches a slave and to work your pussy like a corn field

  • If they're a serious turn off for you, that's a problem and you need to let him know that.

    Otherwise, you could try joining in...

  • yeah tell him you like his n** dick. ask him if he like fucking your white pussy.

  • You are o him what he says. White P and Ass. A trophy of sorts.

  • XD nigga cum... Oh come on !!!

  • Damn that's heavy

  • thats normal.

  • I'm also in an interracial friends with benefits situation, I often do tell her what my n** dick is going to do to her white pussy. I quite like her calling me n** during sex and encourage her to do so too.

  • Tell him to use his cotton pickin skills when he fingers you.

  • I'm not surprised that a black guy is bringing up race. They seem to be the only ones who do.
    Every white female I know who has been with a black guy say the same shit.
    It's about disrespecting you, he's using you to get his hate and aggression out.
    You can't reciprocate unless you are also putting yourself down and adding to his hate for your color. You couldn't say shit to bring him down though. He would get angry and probably hit you or try and hurt you sexually. (If he doesn't already).

  • Once you go black, we don't want you back. You're disgusting white trash.

    • Haha, someone's insecure about their small dick.

    • @Dandeus You know someone is insecure themselves when they answer with "It's because you're insecure!". I'm 8 inches and thick and I have stability in my life. I'm not insecure, I've just been around long enough to know that white girls who are attracted to black guys are bad news.

    • media4.giphy.com/media/l41lLobFblybADG6Y/giphy.gif

    • Show All

  • Sit down and talk to him about it. Not while having sex. Say it's pretty hot, but you don't want to overstep boundaries, and you don't want to say something even if he finds hot at the time that bothers him later.

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