Can I be straight but fantasize about women?

[Anonymous]

Ok, so here's the deal. In high school I considered myself "bi curious" but I've only ever dated guys. One time I have actually met a girl online, met up with her, and experimented with her. However, it wasn't as great as I thought it would be. It was actually kind of weird. After that, it reassured me that I am straight.. However, when it comes to porn or fantasies, I find myself thinking about/watching women. I've been with the same guy for 3 years and I've thought about this for a year or two now. I love the thoght of messing around with a woman, but when it comes down to it, it's not so great.. I'd rather actually be with a guy but I fantasize girls.. Does that make sense? I guess my question is: Is it normal to be straight but sometimes fantasize about girls? For some reason thinking about girls turns me on more.. But I'd never date one and messing around with them isn't as pleasurable to me as a man.. I just like the fantasy. Is this normal? Lol

[FakeName123]

I will copy&paste what I wrote here in a similar thread since I am a lazy bum: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1856595-i-m-straight-but-still-attracted-to-women-does-this-mean-i-m

Women are physically aroused by pretty much everything. Not gonna lie, many women even react to viewing bonobos having sex physically. Here is the study: indiana.edu/.../Chivers_Seto_Blanchard_2007.pdf

The key is that womens sexuality is a lot more split in physical and mental arousal than it is for men. Men have a boner and chances are they are also mentally aroused - the same often isn't the case for women. I have explained more about that in my recent MyTake: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a24617-what-do-women-want

So why do you find (half-) naked women physically more attractive than men? Because a mans body is by no way aesthetic in terms of visually appealing, but the beauty and aesthetic of a mans body comes from its functionality and strength.
A shoe-designer whose name I forgot once said in an interview: "Put a naked man in shoes and it is a naked man in shoes. Put a naked woman in shoes and it is art."

Additionally womens sexuality is also perceived a lot more based on emphatising. When a man watches porn he replaces the actor mentally in said clip. When a woman watches porn she emphatises with the actress and how she might feel. The same happens when you look at a womans body. You emphatise with it on a personal level as you can relate your own body with it.

And last bot not least a womans sexuality is to an extent narcisstic. So seeing another women and emphatising with her pleasure is also emphatising with your own.

[amphet11]

Still means they are by any measure that is correct bisexual

[FakeName123]

@amphet11 You make the mistake of judging female sexuality on the foundation of male sexuality - but both are very different.

[amphet11]

You can't say, "well she is straight for a women" female sexuality is fluid, it's about their own pleasure, while men are target specific, Read the link by dr chivers you posted, she doesn't think women are straight either, i think her opinion is worth more than yours.

[FakeName123]

@amphet11 She also has issues about the term rape-fantasies which she tried to talk around. Just because she does research doesn't make her view 100% correct. Don't get me wrong, I see where you are coming from. But I have a very different view on the matter as she - just like you - judges female sexuality on the foundation of male sexuality. I mean if she really thinks women are bisexual considering her research she would also have to think women are Zoophile.

[amphet11]

The reaction to the bonobo sex was barely above the control, but it shows complete fluidity, women aren't target specific, to say women don't have a degree of sexual attraction to other women is a complete falsehood, which would mean women are by very definition bisexual. I mean come on, dick pick "eww" lesbian porn "yum better masturbate" Most girls will be willing to do sexual things TO other girls in an ffm threesome. I just think it stupid to consider girls straight, they may prefer men, but there is a huge difference between preference and orientation. I also think you misinterpret the rape fantasy thing, it's based off the fact that women get more aroused by being desired then desiring. And dr reiger and his team also agree women are bisexual, some say women don't actually have a sexual orientation

[ksoma]

I'd suggest "it's normal, you're bi."
being bisexual doesn't mean you like both genders equally, it just means you like both genders. You might very strongly prefer men, but if you have any sexual desire for women also, you are not strictly straight. I'd say you are "bisexual w/strong hetero preference."

Also, just because your one instance with a girl didn't blow you away, that doesn't mean a girl couldn't do as much for you as a guy, it just means that sex wasn't great. you might be with another girl someday who absolutely blows your mind.

[vonasaurus]

first of all, labels are for soup cans~ you are a human being.

whether you're straight, gay, or somewhere in-between, a lot of women who watch lesbian porn do so because it's portrayed as more tender and loving. also, because you are a woman yourself, you can relate to the physical sensations the actresses are experiencing.

based on the fact that you experimented with a woman and didn't enjoy it, it sounds like you are straight. that said, human sexuality is so much more than just a label; do what makes you happy (or your toes curl).

most importantly, be safe and have fun!

-von

[LovelyComputerVirus]

Heterflexible? It's where you're hetero but fantasize about the same sex

[godfatherfan]

women are much more fluid about sex and don't seem to care about kissing or touching other women. Guys would never do that if they are straight. So seems to me your a normal woman.

[amphet11]

As in bisexual, a normal women

[godfatherfan]

@amphet11 no, I wouldn't go that far. I think a normal straight woman would (many anway) be ok with kissing her friend on the mouth, maybe even sucking on a tit as a joke. but she wouldn't get sexual pleasure from it like men do or bi-sexual women do.

[VirginiaBeachBum]

Yeah, it makes sense. You could still be bisexual, or straight but still in an experimental phase, or just straight with a very active imagination. It's far more common than most people realize or care to admit.

[ouchthathurt]

Sexual Orientation isn't a solid true-false construct. Everyone has their own unique degree of offset from the standards, but we usually just lump them in with whichever category they show the most resemblance with.

( pretty much like personality types )

[amphet11]

Lol at anyone who believes women are heterosexual, they are all bisexual, they consume 2.5 times as much lesbian porn as guys and it's is by far the most popular genre of porn to the female demographic (pornhub statistics,). "straight" women are also literally more aroused by the female body than the male body, indiana. edu/.../Chivers_Seto_Blanchard_2007. pdf (read that, it's scientifically sound proof). Playboy once did a test where women where aroused by a lap dance by both male and female strippers, while men where only aroused by female strippers.

Most women will make out with other girls after minimal alcohol, and will be willing to do sexual things to another girl during an ffm threesome.
Normally the thing that makes a girl want to have sex with a guy will be non physical, non gender specific traits and will need these non gender specific traits to feel sexual attraction to them in the first place.

Female sexuality is fluid while men have a hard wired sexual orientation. Anthropologists say women don't actually have a sexual orientation, just an amorphous mess based off sexual narcissistic self affirmation.

Disagree with me if you want but there is far to much evidence (both scientific and anecdotal) to consider heterosexuality the female default, look up female sexual fluidity and see that anthropologists and neuroscientists agree with me (well I agree with them

[amphet11]

HONESTLY, HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU GUYS THINK SHE IS STRAIGHT IF SHE HAS SEXUAL FANTASIES ABOUT WOMEN, THAT WOULD OBVIOUSLY MEAN SHE HAS A DEGREE OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO WOMEN, THUS BY VERY FUCKEN DEFINITION SHE IS AT LEAST BISEXUAL, GO PICK UP A DICTIONARY, ARE YOU TRYING TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT TO THE POINT OF ABSURDITY, AND YES UPPERCASE WAS NECESSARY FOR THIS POST

[sicosico]

I guess yes

[johnnywoods]

Can I be straight and fantasize about men?

[babu_001]

Straight, you just watched a hell lotta lesbo porn.

[DerinKuyu]

It is normal, you're straight

[Anonymous]

Id say you're bi...

[Asker]

Even if I didn't like messing around with girls? Lol