Oral and/or hand job instead of sex?

Kitten967 Guru

Women; if your guy wanted sex but you didn't would you give him oral and/or a hand job instead? To please and satisfy him? Or would you rather him wait for you to want it or rather him masturbate? Men; if you wanted sex but your women didn't would you be happy to receive oral and/or a hand job instead? Or would you rather wait for her to want it? Or would you rather masturbate? Personally I like to give him oral and/or a hand job if he wants sex and I don't.

1 1

Most Helpful Guys

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herecomesdehzao Xper 4
+1 y
For a guy's point of view it would be better to receive oral than handjob.

If I didn't want to have sex it would be awkward if she go down own be, but I would definetely eat her up and use my fingers.

P. S: No point in a woman doing a handjob for a man, in my opinion.
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Most Helpful Girls

jen_phils Xper 6
+1 y
Honestly if my husband wants sex and I don't I usually just tell him to make it fast. He does all the work and I usually just lay on my tummy while he does his thing. We have a deal that if one us wants it we get it not matter what. Nothing worse than feeling sexually frustrated. My husband also had a lot of nude pictures of us so he can take care of business himself if needs be. That's just what works for us, may not be for everyone.
1 3 0 0
- p_ayan
  +1 y
  You are in more understanding relationship... and that's great
Anonymous
+1 y
If I am not in the mood for sex, I am not in the mood for any of it. To me, sex is all the sexy stuff we do, not just PIV.

I don't think of his sexual desires as something I'm always responsible to attend to.

Sex is for fun - not a chore people are supposed to accomplish. I don't want it if my partner is not into it.
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kaylaS91 Influencer
+1 y
sure. Once in a while if my boyfriend's feeling 'antsy' and I'm not because I'm stressed with school/work and whatnot, I'm fine to just give him head/a handjob instead.

He's usually fine with that, too, since it's not a recurring issue or anything.
1 3 0 0
Runawaystar Xper 4
+1 y
Usually, if my boyfriend wants sex, I can get into it with foreplay. But if I know that I will not want to fool around, I usually do both oral and a hand job, or anything else we would do.
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What Girls & Guys Said

13 54

tinyclit Guru
+1 y
I always do oral and never do penis in vagina, so I'm always up for oral anytime he wants. That's one of the great things about oral, it's easy, fun, enjoyable and satisfying. :)
1 2 0 1
- Glen68
  +1 y
  Amen!
- ravisvs
  +1 y
  Good to have sex partner like u
tntfa Xper 6
+1 y
Well if its a choice for him masturbating or me helping him out I would have no problem giving a guy a hand... or mouth as the case may be. Then again would he let me watch? lol
1 2 0 0
Blondie80 Xper 6
+1 y
I would rather him wait for me to want it.
1 0 0 1
- phil27
  +1 y
  I would wait
Amethyst5 Xper 5
+1 y
My boyfriend actually doesn't like either of those. He'd rather go down on me, which I also prefer.
1 2 0 0
TangledTK Xper 5
+1 y
Depends on the situation but if it was for sure a 'no go' night then I'd say when, tease him about how much I'd look forward to it, and keep to it.
1 1 0 0
OlderAndWiser Editor
+1 y
I have never turned down an offer of oral sex or a hand job.
1 0 0 0
DevikaButts95 Guru
+1 y
No I expect oral to be done to me as the main thing we'd do in terms of sex.
1 0 0 2
- richardace_123
  +1 y
  Wow you sound selfish. You don't want to suck on a skin but you want someone to lick that sweaty slimy hole. The nerve.
- DevikaButts95
  +1 y
  @richardace_123 If it's any consolation, I'd make you rim me. Lmao.
- richardace_123
  +1 y
  Hahaha NO. Will never happen the vagina is filthy enough. Lol and I would personally tell that to a woman if she expects me to go down on her and won't on me. Luckily never encountered such a woman.
- Show All Show Less
- DevikaButts95
  +1 y
  @richardace_123 You say that but clearly your mouth was made to worship ass. Can't wait to have your tongue on my hole. Lmao.
- richardace_123
  +1 y
  HAHAHAHA. You have some sick fetish. You know you want the D in your mouth. Don't be shy suck it and swallow every drop. ThAT'S your worth. LMFAO
- DevikaButts95
  +1 y
  @richardace_123 Nah dude.
- mitchd171
  +1 y
  @DevikaButts95 any guy would be lucky to have his tongue in your asshole. You should pm me haha
theharlequin Yoda
+1 y
I don't ask. When I want my girl, I take her.
I cultivate constant sexual tension with her, which has become sort of an art for me, so she's usually excited and ready for the experience
1 0 0 0
QueenofCups Master
+1 y
I have given my boyfriend oral when I'm not in the mood, and he has done the same for me.
1 4 0 0
DrewJay Xper 4
1 y
I want both tonight oral and hand job...
0 0 0 0
AndyD96 Xper 5
+1 y
Sure. We don't always have to have sex, we sometimes just let the hands or the tongue/mouth do the work
1 0 0 0
Apope16 Editor
+1 y
I dont like receiving oral sex. It doesn't turn me on much. I need to feel the tightness of a wet and creamy pussy around my 8 inch long/5inch wide black penis.

With that said, if I wasn't getting sex I'd rather give oral sex and forplay than recieve it. Giving pleasure is a big high for me.
1 0 0 2
BellaM Yoda
+1 y
Yes, i will blow him instead
1 3 0 0
Rachel6677 Xper 5
+1 y
yeah I would, still got to look after his needs even if I'm not feeling it
1 4 0 0
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  No you don't. You may WANT to. But you never HAVE to.
- Rachel6677
  +1 y
  @MlleCake ok worded it badly
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  I'll accept that. Just - really not good if either partner thinks of sex as a "have to" and not a "want to", and I want to make sure people hear that message loud and clear. Not trying to make this personal about you.
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- richardace_123
  +1 y
  @MlleCake Well you can't really tell people how to live their sexual lives or change their beliefs in intimacy at bed because we are all different with different priorities and sexual drive. There are plenty of people that do not believe in sex deprivation as they prioritize sex in a relationship due to high sex drive. I would say the best advice to give is to make sure you find a partner that is sexually compatible with you and share the same priorities in a relationship so both partners have an understanding of what to expect from one another and are in fact enjoying each others' company due to common value and interests.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  @richardace_123 I appreciate what you're saying, what happens between people in sex should be at the very least something they are happy to consent to, if nothing else. And I have no problem saying that is the right way of doing things. That's ultimately ALL I am saying. Of course there will people who disagree with me, and will conduct their sex lives differently. But when a 17 year old girl on GAG expresses the feeling that she's "got to" do anything in sex, I want SOMEONE to remind her she doesn't. I looooove indulging my partners, being generous with affection, love and time, even my submissive partners who have agreed to be ordered around by me. I want women (and men) to feel like sex is a pleasure, not a task. To feel like it's about sharing, not each person saying "well I did this for you so now you have to do this for me". To feel strong enough to say no when they need to, and say yes when they want to, without anger or shaming, inside or outside of the relationship.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  @richardace_123 I didn't tell her how to conduct her relationship. I told her a fact. No one in a marriage or a relationship owes the other sex, ever. In a good relationship, you don't run things that way. You entice, you seduce, you love, you don't demand what some other person feels they can't give in that moment. Yes, of course, you do try to find sexually compatible partners, and if you do have a high sex drive, you do your best to get that other person into it, not make accusations like "you're depriving me of sex". In fact, having that kind of attitude toward women in a marriage is more likely to lead to her not wanting to, and eventual bed death. Being kind and understanding works a lot better. And if one partner really loses their libido, you both get help and try to get to the reasons so you can determine if it's a situation that will change with time and effort, or if it's a permanent thing, and you make your decisions accordingly.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  No sir. I dinna buy it. Saying no when you're not in a good situation to feel comfortable with sex at a particular moment is not the same as manipulative, mean-spirited sex deprivation. People always have the right to say no. Always. For whatever reason they want o, I might add. The problem of a sex starved marriage is not that sometimes one person isn't in the mood and they say "can we do this when I'm not constipated" or "can we do this when I am not feeling horrible about work". A sex-starved marriage is much deeper than that - and I agree fully that if you have decided to be monogamous with someone, of course you consider what they desire and do your best to find the ways that your sex desires overlap and enjoy them. But what if you're married to kind of a jerk who refuses to do anything that gives YOU an orgasm? Lots of women re with THAT guy.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  And what if you're married to a woman who has a sex addiction, and really disregards your dignity, and treats you like some sort of sex delivery machine. (Put in 50 cents for one play, move the claw, try to win that sex that's jammed in next to the knock-off "Mario Brother" in the wrong colored overalls.) So when you characterize a woman telling another woman that she has an indisputable right to bodily autonomy, as some sort of statement to deprive a partner (I'll assume male since you are one) of sex, I see through that argument. I wasn't talking about manipulative, cruel sex-deprivation. You know it. I know it. Partners in love, who care for one another, and respect each other as equals, who are not polluted by all sorts of outside messages of sex shame, who have never suffered a sexual trauma - enjoy the adventure of finding their own wavelength where both people feel generous and indulged, beloved and loving, cared for and caring.
- richardace_123
  +1 y
  @MlleCake Are you really 45? Seems like you are a bit immature. My point was it is up to the person what priorities he/she has in a relationship if it's not compatible with someone, that person has the right to find someone compatible. And if there is sex addiction development as a partner you would begin to realize that and should know that given you are in a relationship. If not you are dense ASF and obviously have not been paying attention to your partner. To simplify things find someone compatible with you and if the woman is unsatisfied because she can't get an orgasm from her partner like you said then she has the right to find someone that will as well.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  @richardace_123 Maturity is when you realize I wasn't saying "deprive partner of sex" and I wasn't saying "don't worry about finding someone sexually compatible", and you won't feel the need to tell me those things, because you won't feel like the occasional "I can't do this right now" is such a selfish thing for a woman to say.
- richardace_123
  +1 y
  @MlleCake Never said it was selfish. I just know people who do not believe in sex deprivation to them when a partner is horny they try to help them release in some ways. And I have met couples who live up to this sentiment, and that's my point. Like I said people can of course decline but to for those who believe in always helping a partner out they have the right to have that belief and pursue a partner who holds the same sentiment. B
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  @richardace_123 It's not sex deprivation to say no now and then. That's my point. To call it that is wrong. It's is an asshole move to demand satisfaction on every whim - no matter who demands it. Your partner always needs to know they have veto power when they need it, and never feel pressed into a "duty" they aren't interested in at that moment. Making it a duty, for either partner, makes it about as appealing as cleaning the toilet sometimes. It's wrong to make a partner feel like if they say they aren't in the mood for sex, that they still must perform some sexual duty to get you off. You aren't gonna fuckin' die, and presumably you have a hand and a working elbow. This whole thing you're suggesting sounds all kinds of creepy as fuck to me.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  If people want to, like to, desire to always pitch in a hand with a lover who wants an orgasm, that's their right, of course. That's a WANT to. Not a HAVE to. Heck, I generally feel that way. But somehow you don't seem to get that there's a difference, and you're arguing with me about things I didn't say.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  Perfectly sexually compatible people don't exist. Everyone gets to say "no" sometimes. Everyone WILL say no sometimes.
- richardace_123
  +1 y
  @MlleCake Then you are way behind in the dating world. There are lots of couples out there that are sexually compatible.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  @richardace_123 You're 21. You don't even know enough long term couples and the details of their sex lives to say that with any authority. Many people are sexually compatible but still say "no" to sex now and then for various reasons. It's NOT sexual deprivation. It's just a normal thing that happens in even the most incredible of relationships. Refusing sex on occasion is VERY normal, totally acceptable, and your problem with it is kind of, uh, not valuing of enthusiastic consent, and that's kind of disgusting really.
- richardace_123
  +1 y
  @MlleCake I have been in enough relationships and basing on my own judgment it seems like you prolly have not been to enough. My poiint is you are basically telling people to say an absolute NO when a partner is need of a sex act and you are not feeling like it. To me that sounds immature and irrespsonsible. You at least need to give an effort to address a partner's need. Of course there are times you will have no choice but to say no but you arebasically saying to say NO and not even try to take care of a partner when the person is needing. it. For me give it your best effort to take care oif that need of your partnter. I don't think people should follow your suggestion of just saying NO when you dont want to. That is very irresponsible.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  @richardace_123 No I am not saying that. Not at all. I am saying, if you don't feel like engaging in any sex act with your partner, it's OK to say no. Not that you MUST say no. Sex is a "want to" act. Not a "have to" act. It is not sex deprivation to take a night off when you need to. Nothing about what I said was me telling her she must say no. I was encouraging her not to think of sex a a thing she must do even if she's not in the mood - the choice is hers. Go back and read everything I said and find where I said she must never engage in sex acts if she's not feeling it. I never said that, implied it or meant it. Your reading skills seem weak if you think that is what I was saying.
- richardace_123
  +1 y
  @MlleCake No I read well. You are just showing inconsistency. You have your own post to where you say if you don't want to then say NO. IT Basically communicates that you won't even try which is down right selfish. Read your own post again and your comment to hers you basically mentioned on your post to say no when you don't want to. Relationship is about giving and not only doing things when you "want to." You give your best but of course we are all flawed and we can't all the time but we still try at least.
- MlleCake
  +1 y
  Sex when you aren't interested in it is called rape. Promoting this idea that partners owe each other sexual release upon demand is bullshit. You're misinterpreting what I said to promote this disgusting agenda of yours. It is absolutely acceptable to say no to sex you don't want. It's normal in healthy relationships to do it when you need to. The picture you paint - that it's sex deprivation to say no when you need to - is just ugly.
- richardace_123
  +1 y
  @MlleCake Now it is clear that you have weak reading skills and social skills as well. How is it rape if the person is actually the one willing to put up the effort to please a partner. I never said that the other partner that wants sex should force the person. I am saying as a loving partner you do your best to satisfy the other meaning it's at your own loving free will. There's no point of talking to you anymore because a basic definition of rape you don't even know. BYE.
pink1980 Explorer
+1 y
I want to make him happy. I would do either if it satisfied him. If I was in the mood and he wasn’t he would do the same for me.
2 2 0 0
Cursewords Xper 6
+1 y
Yeah I'm totally happy with getting oral/whatever if my girlfriend is too busy. I'm also happy with nothing. I can take care of myself if I need to.
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ultimega Guru
+1 y
Yeah as you are still taking care of him
1 3 0 0
winterfox10 Master
+1 y
Honestly, when you want pussy, there's nothing that will quite satisfy you. Blowjobs are nice, but they just aren't quite as good.
1 0 0 0
yourdarksecretx Explorer
+1 y
Yep take the bj and the hj
1 0 0 0
thecutejhanvi Xper 3
+1 y
I don't mind giving HJ
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