What do I do about my boyfriend watching porn when I’m doing my best to please him sexually?

[Anonymous]

I recently found the porn he watches, and it really hurt to see the types of things he searches and how frequently he does. He would look for very specific porn stars by name, or put in traits that are not at all like me like “petite blond” when I’m an average brunette. thats just one example, but imagine this how I see it: I go out of my way to send him nudes and have FaceTime sex frequently. I did this because in the past it was led on that he would stop watching porn and that I would supply the entertainment for him. So I’ve done so as much as I could. Now I’m thinking I’m the only supplier of that content while he’s still watching porn of women who don’t even look like me. Not to mention their bodies are all ridiculously curvy and unlike mine. I feel betrayed. Guys like to claim that porn has nothing to do with their perception of their current partner. But when you are searching for porn with specific traits opposite your SO or resembling past hookup partners you are saying “this is what I wanna cum to” you wanna watch this girl get fucked on screen and then you ejaculate to the very fantasy of being the man in the video fucking her. In reality it’s as close to sex with another woman as you’re gonna get without being considered cheating. If you’re watching other naked women doing anything AND touching yourself to that, I consider it a gross act of disloyalty (especially lying about it). I have explained to him that when I masturbate it’s to the idea of him and I don’t think of other men. This isn’t a lie. If we have great sex and I try to give him nudes and videos of me then why would he need to watch porn :( my biggest insecurities are Also knowing my body is the least attractive of all the people he has been with, which were all mostly strippers or nightclub workers. All these girls had big tits and/or fat asses and he loves it. I don’t have either now and I see that’s what he wants and prefers if that’s all he masturbates to.

[Anonymous]

You make some very good points. He's obviously not considering the effect that his porn is having on you, on him, and on your relationship. Something to keep in mind, is that the worth of a person, the worth of a woman, does not come from her tits or ass, it's what's in her heart. You may not have the prime tits and ass, but you have plenty of both to please him, and please him well, if he will let you. I can honestly say, I'd rather fuck a girl that loves me, and it feels better, and means more to me, than fucking a girl who has a great body, but doesn't love me, and I don't love her. You give that opportunity to him, I hope he has the common sense to appreciate it. If not, don't blame yourself, because you are not the one lacking. He is the one lacking in understanding of what is really worth while, and what is a really good fuck. His strippers, etc., can't give that to him. Only you can. Hopefully, he will see this.

[wankiam]

simple fact is its not about you or even how your guy feels about you. some men just feel a need to use porn regardless of how amazing their partner is or how much love they have.

[Asker]

Ok but why

[wankiam]

why is a good question and although i have always needed to look at porn myself i can't say i ever worked out why. i just have that need in me

[abundantlyrich]

You can't stop him. He likes variety. Are you his first gf?

[Asker]

Yes I’m his first girlfriend and first fuck too

[abundantlyrich]

Hmmm is he your first too?

[AustinMan]

Why Men Watch Porn ↗

[Logorithim]

OK, you've got some serious misimpressions here

1) Jerking off to the Images of other women is not cheating and does not mean he doesn't love you and is not attracted to you

2) It's really unrealistic to expect most guys to give up porn altogether

3) That you should be insecure about your body- he is with you, so you're doing something right and you must be attractive

Stop worrying About porn and just Focus on your relationship. Guys know what they see in porn is just Fantasy.

[BigRob420]

Go blonde if he likes that. How many times a day does he sleep with you?

[bubbakong2006]

Well mayby just ask him what really turns him on and that you want to know so you two could try it be better to know what really pleases him and be open to about what you like and it’s pretty normal for guys to like big tits all tits are nice but some men have different desires and if it turns you on it just does you might not really know why but you know if it makes you horny and excited you like it even you may find there’s new things that turn you on if you open up about exploring your sexuality and nothing wrong with it if it feels good a lot of guys just don’t open up to the women about what they like say like cumming on your tits he may like that but be afraid to tell you and then masturbates thinking of cumming on there tits stuff like that so ask him what turns you on

[Anpu23]

It's about verity not this type or that type. A guy who has a blond may want to fantasize about a redhead, a man with a curvy wife may occasionally wonder what a slim woman would be like. He isn't trying to replace you, or even compare you. He is contrasting you?

[jessture]

Nope men do not have the level of emotional attachment to porn you describe. Not even close...

Our brains are wired visually. Porn is visual stimulation. It's that simple.

[genericname85]

Are you sexually satisfied what him or does he watch porn instead of having sex with you when you want to?

[Asker]

He satisfies me and hasn’t done that thankfully

[genericname85]

Ok let him watch porn then or ask him if he's missing something in sex.

[Lance1965]

A guy that is seriously addicted to porn will never be 100% satisfied with the woman he is with. Casual porn users might be OK but the serious addict lives in a fantasy world.

[Aynsof]

I get what you are saying but it isn't really like that it is just not how it functions for guys
There is a distinction between reality and fantasy and what one likes in one does not automatically translate into the others
A lot of guys when they watch porn they look at things that they would never do or even really want to do in reality

[Marharaya]

Porn is cancer

[Harsh_Ch]

If he's satsifying you in bed, then you shouldn't be worried about what he does in private... that's being insecure

[Nickoli42]

Need to have a serious conversation with him about it.

Guys watch porn and you can't stop that. If it's an addiction though it needs to be dealt with. Especially if he is ignoring your sexual needs.

[gogo28]

just enjoy