Why can't I orgasm with my bf?

[Anonymous]

I love it when my boyfriend goes down on me and fingers me but I can never reach orgasm. He seems like he feels bad about himself when I don't orgasm. Is this normal or is there something we're doing wrong? Maybe I feel too pressured to finish? I told him I enjoyed it whether or not I finished but he still wants me to, and I wish I could.
I feel like there's something wrong with me but he feels like there's something wrong with him. And I don't know what to do to make it better. I've never orgasmed due to someone else's manipulation.

[Soteris]

Its pretty normal for young women and it usually goes away as you get more confident through experience. It can be a big hit for a guys ego but sometimes the woman simply is not quite ready for sex. She might be feeling insecure or have unreasonable expectations of what she must do etc.. Mostly its subtle things you might not notice but as you get more used to sex and also your partner you learn to open up and enjoy it more.

[Asker]

i dont think im insecure, me and him communicate pretty well i think

[Soteris]

Well I practically know nothing about you so I can't say why exactly just that this sort of thing usually just works itself out.

[jspl90]

Well some people have trouble orgasming with their partners if its a mental thing you could try masturbating while he is in the room and after you few times you have done that and reached orgasm maybe start letting him help🤔maybe that will let you relax and not be that tense but who knows I am no expert😆

[Aislin9]

There is nothing wrong with either of you, just pressure, you just need to break the pattern. One day try getting yourself off by yourself, then call him into the bedroom when you're close. Or invite him in to watch if you think you'd be comfortable. See if that works. Good luck.

[Asker]

that's actually a good idea, I thought about that but I thought I might get nervous with him there. Like even when we do stuff over facetime I can't reach orgasm

[Aislin9]

It's a start... maybe have a strong drink before lol Best of luck to you.

[Asker]

haaha i'll try, thanks

[Anonymous]

Here read this mytake I made:
How to reach an orgasm and what I have found helpful

[LiamSawyer]

Possibly he doesn't know what he's doing? Good communication is key in any relationship whether it's emotional or sexual or both.

[Asker]

if he doesn't, i dont know what to say to guide him

[HerLucidNightt]

Does he do anything to your clit? If he's just fingering you and lapping it up down there, no wonder you're not orgasming!

[Aislin9]

She wrote he goes down and her though so that's not the problem.

[HerLucidNightt]

@Aislin9 So what? That doesn't mean he does anything to her clit.

[Aislin9]

What else would he be doing down there? lol

[HerLucidNightt]

@Aislin9 Not doing it right. She's obviously not orgasming so he's probably only using his fingers to penetrate. Never knew i'd have to explain this to a 23 year old... News flash: not all men know what they're doing down there.

[Aislin9]

Going down on woman LITERALLY means oral - duh!

[HerLucidNightt]

@Aislin9 Girl stop being dumb on purpose, i just can't with you, it's too late for this and i'm too old for this. You must be lying about your age.

[Aislin9]

Going down on a woman doesn't mean fingering. Get over yourself as well.

[Asker]

he does do stuff to my clit but i get nervous sometimes and don't feel anything so i like it better when he fingers me but then i dont orgasm

[HerLucidNightt]

@Aislin9 She LITERALLY wrote that he fingers her. You're def not 23.

[HerLucidNightt]

@Asker Maybe you're tensing up? I see some other people suggested that you need to relax more. Do you think that could be a culprit?

[Aislin9]

She wrote "when my boyfriend goes down on me AND fingers me" She also just confirmed he goes down on her. You're projecting and childish in your reply. Again get over yourself, you're obnoxious and arrogant.

[HerLucidNightt]

@Aislin9 Dude, shut up. She said nothing about a clit so i asked. Some men forget about it. And yep, i'm arrogant and obnoxious for asking a question to pinpoint @Askers problem. What the fuck lmao

[Dargil]

Can you do it for yourself? What do you do? Can you teach him?

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

could be a mental block. Is there any reason you can think of that might hold you back mentally from fully "letting go"?

[Asker]

i think i'm nervous and feel under pressure to not take to long so he doesn't get tired or something

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

that seems to be a common thing for lot of girls, just try not to focus on the end result, and just relax and enjoy the sensations in the moment. Do you meditate or do any kind of mindfulness techniques? (outside the bedroom I mean) it might help bring your focus into the moment rather than being in your head. And as for the pressure you feel to "not take too long", maybe make an agreement with him that if either of you are getting tired and want to stop, you'll just give a signal to end the session there. That way it takes the pressure off, coz you won't be thinking "is he bored with this?", coz if he's tired he'll just raise the signal and stop.

[Asker]

that's very helpful thank you :)

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

sure :)

[Kinky_Daddy_Henry]

Have him lick you and play with your body as you finish yourself. That way he still feels involved.

[In_Trance]

It's normal if you allow it to become normal. You need to discuss this with him

[Yellovv]

Your clitoris need to get nice lick to make you screaming orgasm..

[crazygus77]

Can you bring yourself to orgasm?

[Asker]

yes i can do it by myself

[crazygus77]

By how, masturbation?

[Asker]

yeah what else

[crazygus77]

What are you wearing

[Asker]

pink and black pijamas

[crazygus77]

Panties?

[Asker]

no, where r u going with this

[crazygus77]

I don't know

[crazygus77]

Are you wearing panties?

[crazygus77]

Are you