What does it mean when a guy tells you everything but doesn’t ask you anything?

[Anonymous]

I’m the only one he talks to about what he’s passionate about. I was the first one he texts for big things in his life. He doesn’t reciprocate with me though. Why does he do this? He really is a wonderful guy. I think he appreciates me because he’ll show it in little ways. We spend a lot of time together that we both initiate and joke around. He just won’t ask me any questions or get any information from me unless I offer it.

[Punkbuster107]

My initial gut reaction was to say “This guy is a selfish loser”, but I think that’s actually an unfair assumption, especially as I reflect on a lot of the virtuous qualities you describe him demonstrating.


I think you might be right, and he could be a really great guy. But unless your name is Jesus and you were born of a virgin mother, everyone has their flaws and areas for improvement, even great guys.


This might be something you can help him with. Maybe he is clueless to the fact that when he gets passionate about a topic, he starts rolling and never stops to let the other person speak, ESPECIALLY if he is starved for opportunities to talk about these things with anyone but you. By no means does that excuse leaving your life story unattended to in a conversation, and if he’s as nice as you believe he is, I bet he‘ll agree if he becomes aware of it.


Giving people advice on how they can improve a personal flaw is touchy and difficult, but fortunately it’s easiest to do with people who are already somewhat virtuous, and who already have an established relationship (can be platonic) with you, and when you approach the subject in a gentle and sensitive way. I believe you have the means of being 3-for-3 in this situation.


I’d talk to him in a 1-on-1 context and say something to the affect of: “Hey [person], I think you’re a really great guy, better than most I know, and I don’t think I’d even bother saying something like this if you weren’t. That said, if there was something you could do in conversations that would make me enjoy conversations with you more than I already do, would you want to know what it is?” And then if he says “yes”, which he will, you can tell him how you’d like him to ask you about yourself more often. Under these circumstances, I think it would be nearly impossible for him to disagree with you, unless he is a completely narcissistic sociopath, which you’ve given me no reason to believe is the case.


Best of luck!

[summiter]

He sounds like he likes to talk about himself more then he cares what you have to say or learn more about you.
Are you going out with him? Are you two having sex?

[Daniela1982]

Because he is using you to dump his problems on in a one way manner. He is not interested in what is going on with you, only himself. but it's nice you listen to his problems. Just don't expect the same.

[ripuglyboihunter]

What does he tell you? Like what do you guys usually talk about? That’s a very important part of this question you left out but if you want an answer just reply to this comment :)

[Asker]

He tells me about his passions that he doesn’t share with other people. I get excited with and for him and I don’t think many people do that with him. A lot of people ask him for advice or tell him their life stories. So I offer my ear because I appreciate who he is and he seems to love it. I was the first one to know he got the job of his dreams. He also asks me to go rock climbing with him every week. but he won’t ask me any questions. He doesn’t act verbally interested in me. Like if I’m not continuing the conversation he won’t do it.

[ripuglyboihunter]

Maybe he is just awkward and doesn’t know what to talk about or he is shy with you or something

[magiusX26]

means he is self centered

[Iron_Man]

It’s weird

[mastema]

it means he doesn't care about you LOL

[Anonymous]

It may be merely because everyone’s different and some aren’t as expressive or curious as others.

It’s best just to ask him why he “won’t ask [you] any questions or get any information from [you] unless [you] offer it.” Tell him that you’d really love for him to do that.

[Opinion Owner]

Question Asker - this question inspired me to ask a question on GirlsaskGuys...

I invite you to take a look at the question and participate in the poll/voting and provide your Opinion. The question is...

Which of the 5 “Love Languages”—Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time, or Words of Affirmation—is your preferred way of receiving love?

Which of the 5 “Love Languages”—Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time, or Words of Affirmation—is your preferred way of receiving love? ↗

[Anonymous]

Autism or obtuse? Would be my guess.