Is it wrong I feel like I want to be "the guy" in the relationship?

[Anonymous]

So I don't know how to start. basically we've been together for 6 years now. It has always been him being dominant in every single aspect of our life (like he never even let's me pay for anything even though I'm much richer than he is). At first I liked it (mostly from the sexual side of things) but as time went by for some reason I started getting really pissed.

Sexually it was also getting to me. I wish I could pick him up the way he picks up against a wall, I wish I could fuck him the way he fucks me (yes after a yearoof those thoughts I have a strapon). Don't get me wrong I don't wish I was a dude I still picture myself as the woman and him as the man but I see myself as the one wanting to be like that at his expense. I thought it was a phase but it has been going on for about a year now.

I talked to him about it he jokingly says he thinks it's kinda sexy but that the reason why I like him is because he is the way he is so it ain't happening. Which just angers me more I wish he took what I said seriously. I'm so angry all I can think of is getting him drunk to the point he won't "think" it and just letting it happen and when he likes it if he does then we'll have a real genuine talk.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's wrong, and here's why. Your relationship has always been based on who each of you are, and as you said, you were attracted to and turned on by who he is, and he by who you are. But you have changed. You've decided you are angry and you want to be a different person and you want him to be a different person. It doesn't take a genius to know why that's fucked up.

I would suggest you need to get professional counseling to help you with your anger issues and your self-image problems, because I'm pretty sure of you can't get past your problem... and make no mistake, this is your problem, not his... you will destroy your relationship.

[Asker]

I see and I can admit that, but I don't know like what if it's a fantasy that won't change, I'm not gonna lie I don't want it to change just imagining it.. and I love him more than anything I just want to be able to do his role from time to time, he just angers me when he acts like a jerk about it like if he told me his fantasies I wouldn't dismiss him like that, or for example he's been through a lot when he was young and he's like lower middle class (he's about to play soccer in Italy though so it's good) while I'm rich, I don't understand why he insists on paying..

[Opinion Owner]

You're asking him to be a different person than who he is, and for him to accept you as a different person than the one he knows and loves. I think it's fair to ask him to give a little on some things, especially in the bedroom, but you should do so knowing that you do not have a right to force him to change who he is. What you're talking about here is very fundamental to who he is. You have been with him for six years and you essentially have an unspoken contract stating that you love each other for who you are, and now you are asking to break that contract. Again, I think he should be willing to compromise in some areas, and he shouldn't be an asshole about it if you are asking for reasonable things. But that is the key... what is reasonable to you may not seem so to him. I do wish you both the best.

[OlderAndWiser]

Perhaps you should play a game with him: Winner Says Loser Does.

Need some excitement in the bedroom? Are you willing to take a challenge? ↗

Let him win the first time. Second time, get him a bit tipsy and then it's your turn to be the winner!

[Asker]

Thank you very much. I actually find this very helpful you are indeed older and wiser. Is it wrong though if I'd like to add some alcohol to the game? 😈

[Asker]

Ohhh nevermind I just read the instructions of the game (how to set it up) and it includes alcohol. Thanks for the help❤️❤️

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck!

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[summiter]

Just tell him what you want to do. Unless you act on it you will not know.

[Asker]

Understood, But whenever I bring it up he just jokes about it so I'm thinking about actually "acting" on it

[KrakenAttackin]

A) He is the wrong man for you. B) when you do find a submissive man you will quickly end up hating him.

[Asker]

I understand what you're saying, and i don't want a submissive man, but I just want to be more dominant myself, maybe it sounds extreme but I don't know I feel the way I feel, and since that he's like so dominant in everything we do i can't do it except at his expense

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker. What you want from a man will end up making you miserable.

[CubaPirate]

Have you spoken to him about your pegging fantasy

[Asker]

He's honestly a jerk when it comes to that. He starts joking about how I'm "suggesting" he likes trans women just because he likes hangover 2(the movie). He also jokes about how society did Freud wrong when they "suggested" penis envy doesn't exist. He says such things in such a way I swear it just makes me want to fuck him more and I've never had the confidence to say it before but I am now

[CubaPirate]

Good for you girl. by the way it's a fantasy of mine to have a pegging experience

[Asker]

Ohhh wow do you think it's actually common? i really feel ashamed talking about it like even here

[CubaPirate]

I don't know really but message me if you want to discuss

[Asker]

I don't mind talking about it, I kind of get worried though because there are some guys here who just talk so they try to date or get nudes or stuff, like I don't even mind sending them my picture if they want to know how I look, but nothing they won't find on a normal Instagram post, can't 2 people just talk about a sexual topic without trying to fuck, you don't sound like that though so tell me if that's the kind of talk you want too and I'll message you as soon as I get it

[CubaPirate]

Thank you please do message me to chat

[CubaPirate]

About how's best to approach the subject with our partners if you like

[Asker]

Okayyyy

[Asker]

Hey I'm not allowed still to send you a message because I'm still not xper 2 so I can't initiate a conversation.. as soon as I get there I will message you okayy? 🙆🏼‍♀️

[CubaPirate]

Okay no problem. I'm looking forward to hearing from you in due course