No... but it also can't be denied that sex is one of the three or four primary reasons to be in a relationship, with other lessor reasons as well.
Let me give you an analogy: you're hungry and you're going to go out to eat (maybe you've got no food at home, or your stove is broken, or whatever). You have the choice of several good restaurants, so you call around for reservations, and one of them tells you, "just so you know, we have an issue with our business license and are unable to serve any beverages with your meal, nor can you bring in any with you." What's the chance that you're going to pick the restaurant with no drinks, even if you like the food, when there are other restaurants you like just as much that serve drinks?
As I said, sex - especially for men, but also for most women - is a high priority motivator for being in a relationship, but if a woman takes sex off the table, well, she's not the only woman in the world, is she? And most men are going to look at it the same way as a restaurant that can't serve beverages: a poor value when there are other restaurants that are otherwise just as good but also serve beverages. Taking sex off the table makes you extremely uncompetitive compared to most women on the dating market, and men know very well how much value women expect to get out of a relationship - his time, attention, work, money, and responsibility - so men expect to get some value as well, and if they know they aren't going to get it, they're going to keep shopping until they find another woman who can provide the value he's looking for.
Is sex the only thing that matters? Of course not. Most men also want to feel desired, appreciated, and they want peace in their home. If a woman can't provide any one of those things, she's also unlikely to get a relationship from a man. Men are simple, and we don't need a big long list of things from our women - our list is very short, but we INSIST on those few things, because without any of those key items, we're happier alone.
It's one thing to say "I don't have sex with a guy I've just met - I've got to get to know him first and make sure we have good relationship compatibility." That's reasonable - but that also gives you something like 5 dates before you need to make a decision. But if you say "sex is off the table," then you can expect the vast majority of men to simply move on. That doesn't make men bad or shallow or any of that - women have NO TROUBLE passing over men who lack things that they want; most women do this every day. You can't expect men not to do the same.
no shut up
@Jouth Well, that's certainly an argument that's going to convince me that you're right! rolleyes
okay but you have to shut up first tho
Absolutely not. That's insulting and demeaning.
I do love everything about the female form, but a woman is much more than that. She's a human being worthy of respect, not just a cum dump for creeps.
A date is supposed to be fun, not just assumed to be a hook up. It's when two people converse and learn about each other. You hope there is physical attraction but you also see if you like each other and if there is a connection. I can't even imagine a guy even bringing up sex, let alone flat out asking for it on a first date. Talk about a red flag. At that point, a woman should just get up and leave without another word.
At the end of a first date, I follow the woman's lead. If her body language says that she likes me and feels comfortable, I'll give her a kiss before we part. Not a face eating kiss while clutching at her feverishly.
It's especially sweet if, as we say goodbye, she looks up searchingly into my eyes, places her hands on top of my shoulders, lifts up on her tiptoes, gives me a warm, tender kiss, and says that she had a lovely evening.
I think it would be a bad indication if she gave her body to or even sucked the dicks of virtual strangers. At the same time, a woman with a strong libido is a treasure, and would hope that she would trust me enough to surrender to her desires after a couple or a few dates. If I was attracted to her, I would be longing for sex, but I would take my cues from her.
If we started dating exclusively, I would expect her to want sex at some point, fairly soon. I'm not interested in girls who have sexual hang ups or believe in saving themselves for marriage.
When it comes to a girlfriend or wife, again, sex is very important. You give yourselves to each other completely. But only a sociopath would think of a partner as nothing but a hole. I respect a woman who craves sex but also has self-esteem, is bright, witty, funny, ethical, hard working, tender, loving, nurturing and caring, and expects the same thing from a partner. I love sharing my life with a woman I can talk to, go places and do things with. I wouldn't care for a woman who thought her only value was sexual.
"That might explain why 100% of men stop going out with me when I say no to sex on the first date."
How are you meeting the guys, and what is the nature of the interactions?
You need to filter the guys more. You can prevent this by preparing beforehand. There needs to be clear communication.
Majority of guys don't actually expect sex on the first date. Nor do they only want women for sex.
Men, when you approach or reach out digitally to a woman (romantically) is the ONLY thing you really want from her... sex?
I think there are a lot of guys out there like that who only want sex but not all are like that. I’m sorry that’s been your experience. I wish I could fix you up with someone. I know a lot of good guys. One piece of advice…. I’ve had way better luck with dating by choosing the guys myself and asking them out or being so obvious they asked me out. Waiting for them to come to me forced me to weed through the creeps.
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!You bring up a very serious issue faced by many women today. It is 100% valid.
There are still some of us men left who do not see a woman as a hole. Objectification is the biggest slap in the face possible to a literal goddess.
First and foremost, I see a woman as a person with hopes and dreams. Her face and personality (the ability to communicate and share thoughts/ideas to connect as two people) are her most beautiful attributes. Once that foundation is set then I’m glad her female parts which my counterparts are there. It is a joy and as much of heaven that a person can experience on earth to then join our bodies and have that most amazing connection on all levels. As if we both go to heaven together when our bodies fall off the edge. Then we come back together and can go back there together anytime we need to feel that closeness.
The fact that you chose guys who want to fuck on a first date does not mean that all guys are that way. It just means that you would rather blame half of the population for your situation rather than taking some responsibility for your poor dating strategies and choices.
While sex has happened on a first date once in a while, most usually it does not. That would not be my expectation at all. My girlfriend/wife is my partner in many ways, not just sex. Your body may attract a guy, but it is not all you have. You must be choosing the wrong guys to be experiencing this.
No I'm single and if I ever thought about any girl like that it would just be fucked up there's no way I can even think that way the girls that I go out with have the whole package I don't even think about a h o l e that's ridiculous
No. A woman is a copanion and hopefully a future mother and wife. Sex is a tiny part of that. Even if you want to wait until after marriage, I have no problem with it.
People who only want sex should not be using dates as cheap prostitutes. And girls with self respect should not let them.
You can be SURE that I’ll see whether or not I can slip my Little Mule into your snapper on the first date.
But I absolutely recognize your right to give me a hard pass and hold out for a better deal.
It’s a sort of ‘dance’ that men and women do, both of us feeling our way along, seeing what kind of bargain we can strike with each other.
It’s fun, and it’s what being alive is all about. And it weeds out the ones who BOTH of us are better off without involving ourselves with, one way or another.
I didn't even see the single night girls as holes on legs. This is a really jaded take.
What, no, of course not, that's ridiculous.
Hole or not, I like those panties. Lol
It's never stopped me. Just so you know, the vast majority of chicks in the dating scene preface the date with that line whether they mean it or not. They'll get super flirty and a little bit sexual, and just before the date they throw out that disclaimer so you don't get assumptive. It doesn't stop me, and I doubt it stops a lot of guys.
Yep men that engineered the entire world around you are so simple that they just think of you as a hole. That’s how we got skyscrapers, electricity, computers, and satalites with simple thinking.
Which gender lacks imagination?
How women believe men think...
How men actually think...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnoNITE-CLc
If she...
Has a job/career
Isn't a slob
Isn't a femnazi
Isn't mean/catty
Has a social life
etc..
Then she's not just a hole.
If she does nothing but sit around the house, doing nothing, contributing nothing (except drama), then not only is she just a hole, but she's also an asshole too.
Well, 'anon' it depends on if she is a 'tight' "walking vagina on legs" or not. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Honestly, I think a perception of any kind starts with a first meeting, and the tone you set with the guy. You have to convey a sense of what/who you are and the kind of man that deserves what you offer in a relationship, whether just dating or a 'relationship".
You do that on day one.
Hell no. My SO is my long-term partner. We do and share things together, as well as doing some things separately. Sex is not the main reason we are together.
Sex is a key component to the relationship for ALL men unless they are A sexuals. How important sex is would be for each individual man to decide and feel in his heart. I need cuddles, holding, hugging, which are equal to me to sex in gratification. Not physically but i would say the size of happiness produced is the same in my brain. I need that emotional connection with someone first. Without that I can't trust you. If I can't trust you I can't risk any number of possible outcomes including pregnancy, stds, blackmail, etc, etc. People are shady af today. I'm by no means a prude but I won't jump in bed with people I dont have a clear background on and established relationship and boundaries.
I've mentioned this to another gagger who by the way is a goddamn drop dead gorgeous gal. She's not into sex like that for her reasons. I said as long as a girl is willing to still give it up a few times a month and then explore alternative options like getting naked and masturbating, giving blowjobs, using toys, etc, etc then it's not an issue. Sex is a window and gateway to the soul. If our souls aren't touching then we'll never be soul mates, get it? Our souls are firmly intact underneath our flesh. So when we combine in that fiery passion we're getting as close and united on the physical plane as our souls can in that sense. It's not just a sexual gratification it's a deeply spiritual thing for me personally.
I often tell women to "secure the relationship before sex". For me you can secure me with love and affection after we've known each other a bit. The sex is the "sealing" of the deal if you get my meaning. Thats why I haven't just given myself up for any/all girls I've been with. I believe I for one need a woman very spiritually connected to herself, her body, me, and both of our sexuality.
Guys, do you really see your girlfriend as just a hole to put your penis in? As far as that her age, looks, face, character and personality don't matter at all?
-No.
That might explain why 100% of men stop going out with me when I say no to sex on the first date.
-Maybe you are only entertaining a certain type of guys.
Is there any way how a woman can be seen as more than a walking vagina on legs? And how do you do that?
-Don't be easy, dress the occasion, don't act slutty, be educated.
no lmao
In my experience not all men are like that tbh
Heck, I couldn't even find it on her.
Of course not!
Who'd do the laundry?
This is a really moronic question. I hope you have deeper thoughts in your own relationship.
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