A girl who is dressed risqué, showing a lot of skin, cleavage, wearing stilettos, etc.
Tinder
Any place considered a pickup joint
I'm not interested in those contexts here.
Yeah, pretty much.
Well I'm probably attracted to her sexually, but I want more than just that. I want to get to know her too. Maybe have a relationship, potentially.
I'm female, lesbian, too young to date, or not interested in dating. No vote. Just here to see results.
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+1 y
I phrased the title q a bit poorly. It should read more like: Men, when you approach in person, or reach out digitally, to a woman, is the ONLY thing you want from her... sex? I didn't mean this q in an online-only context.
And it has nothing to do with friendships, coworkers, needing help, etc. (That's why I said 'romantically.') I know you want a physical/sexual relationship. This is about if it's the ONLY thing you want from her.
Men, when you approach or reach out digitally to a woman (romantically) is the ONLY thing you really want from her... sex?
Sex is awesome but I never approach a girl because I want sex. I do to know her. To see the world through her eyes. To be of help if I can. To put some sunshine in her already sunny life.
I am a people person. People fascinate me. So mostly I only approach people to satisfy my fascination. The only time i think sex is after I say "I do take you to be my wife" before God.
I just want to feel desired and also a genuine connection. That I can see and be seen by her. It's like someone you think is amazing also sees the same in you I think there's just something magnetic about that.
*If I was single*: The answer would be B. My PRIMARY motive would obviously be to find a romantic (sexual) partner. I mean, why would I approach a woman based on a need for platonic friendship with some person? Friendship is not romance. If all I needed was a friend, I could just as easily talk to guys. I have no overwhelming need for a friend to hang out with and bare my soul to. In that regard, acquaintances are just fine.
I wouldn't be interested in the kind of girl who just wanted to be "friends". I like heterosexual girls who have healthy libidos, revel in sex and aren't afraid of it. So the only ones I would approach would be those whom I found physically/sexually appealing.
That being said, I'm not interested in wanton skanks who will fuck any attractive stranger who comes along. I don't want a girl who just jumps into bed, does one night stands, or who has sex is public bathrooms and alleys.
I do want a girl who seeks to establish a friendship with the hope of possibly engaging in a sexual relationship if it turns out that we get along. My goal a monogamous relationship with a woman who likes and trusts me and who, within that relationship, will surrender herself to her sexual desires. I want to adore her body, mind and personality and I want her feelings to be mutual. I want more than sex, but sex is essential. It's a normal part of a relationship between a man and woman. Within such a relationship, two people can develop deep friendship and trust that may even grow beyond infatuation to love.
I wouldn't waste time on a woman who had hangups about the sacredness of sex or who used sex as a bargaining chip.
I wouldn't wait too long for sex. It's a first step in creating a bond. It shows a level of devotion, trust and commitment. You have to jump into a relationship with both feet, so to speak. But it must be understood that sex is no guarantee. Sometimes a relationship between and man and woman, just like any kind of friendship, doesn't last. People can come and go for one reason or another. We just keep moving forward toward our hopes, dreams and goals. It's how life works.
I think there's a complete misunderstanding about men that's been repeated & perpetuated through mainstream media (TV shows, talk shows, movies, books, etc...) and other forms of communication.
Trying to depict us as cold, emotionless, detached brutes that take what they want when they want it, for personal gains, career opportunities and especially when it comes to sex... and I couldn't think of anything further from the truth, if anything - men are quite the opposite AND that's a major problem.
There seems to be this obsession with this male "alpha" power fantasy that guys feel like they have to live up to AND that a lot of women are strongly attracted to and desire but refuse to admit (even though in recent years girls/women have been completely candid & unapologetic for wanting men like this by all the countless videos on tiktok, YouTube, IG where they proclaim their demands & stipulations for what they want of men).
Most men are absolutely gutted, disheartened and pissed off by this because it fits into an unrealistic standard that very few (practically no one) can live up to and it really isn't fair.
Ending point, most men reach out to women with a variety of intentions - maybe for sex, the possibility of a relationship, to see if there's a connection, curiosity... but are condemn no matter what - if he reaches out purely for sex he's creep, a player, a pervert or dirt bag BUT if he reaches out for a relationship he's a wimp, a simp, a beta, and he gets friend zoned for not being assertive enough... I truly despise everything about this because of the lack of empathy & understanding and because there seems to be no good solutions.
It's interesting, what you said. Though I think you've distilled the picture down too much.
What's happened is that gender roles have softened, blurred, and it's been both freeing for some, and confusing for others. To me, it's a bit like a freeze frame in The Matrix, where the objects (and people) are in the air, suspended, and we don't yet know, as a society, where they will all fall.
People have more freedom than ever before. This is causing anxiety, as well as giving options. These men depicted on TV etc., have been created by men. I know about the entertainment industry and almost all executives are male (making decisions about what to produce), the writers are male, the director's are male, and even something like 77% of all speaking roles are male. It is men who created this image.
The truth is that not all women want "the brute." Some do. Not all. In fact, most don't. It's also regional, geographical. Some cultures are older than others.
I know lots of men and none of them have problems with their identity, in so far as masculinity goes. They all seamlessly bridge strength with sensitivity and occasional vulnerability.
Your second paragraph, "cold, emotionless..." I don't know any of those. It could be that your perception of your gender is worse than the actual reality. Though I can't say it's completely wrong, because you can see where I was going with this question. It is a myth. And as other men have explained here on this topic, girls simply believe this, no matter how much they may be told otherwise. Young guys have very high testosterone and drive to have sex (much more than girls); add to that, the phases that guys goes through, where you couldn't get them to commit if you tied them up. But in general, lots of people would love a real connection, a real partner. It's basically why this site exists - it's an avenue to discuss this search.
Well, I mean, when I approach or find a woman attractive, etc.. in your scenario, the thing to realize is that the entire interaction or potential interaction with her is a fantasy. It's a story that I'm making up in my head, the scenarios of how it could go and where it could end up.
Realizing that, I am much less attached to any particular outcome and much more open to the adventure of finding out what happens and where we will go when our energies/psyches actually connect and interact. I'm not specifically seeking a sexual and only sexual experience... what I'm seeking is discovery, an adventure, an experience; which may or may not have a sexual element to it.
I would say there is a very small percentage of those approaches where I don't actually think or feel a connection would be good with a woman, but I find her physically attractive and fantasize about a purely sexual experience with her. But even in those scenarios (which I would say are less than 5%), I am open to the fact that my prejudices might be unfounded/incorrect, and I could be surprised by the connection and it could be more intimate than I imagine.
Bravo, zeitgeist. I'm doing a standing ovation of one on this. 👏 Seriously. Men have been too distilled down into rudimentary, simplistic, caricatures. Not all men have high verbal and writing ability, but clearly you do, and I appreciate you taking the time to write this. Very nice job, I must say. (Not that I am surprised.)
Thank you, Amanda. As I was writing this, "as a man", I also believe that my perspective reflects a female experience as well. A human experience. Most of us want an adventure, do we not? To step into life, the unknown, or even a simple night out, with an exciting, enthusiastic partner that will add to the experience?
Yes that's true. It's a human desire for experiences. I really like that. This is very much a 'you' answer. There's nothing wrong with it, and I imagine an evening or day with you is an experience, a mini adventure. But you also know that there are people who are looking for a life partner, something that hopefully endures, and they won't want the temporary. So it would depend on how open-minded the two people are, and where they are at in their life at that moment, how flexible they are. I can see it from both angles. One shouldn't have too many rigid expectations, or put too much pressure on the other too soon, when they've only just met. But otoh... well, you know. If you think you already know what you want, you may overlook someone who is not to type. This is something I never did. I met all sorts of men who had little in common with each other. I was the only connector. Which is great. I enjoy thinking about that. I think being just generally open to meeting people is the healthiest attitude. But it's also within peoples' prerogative to have a goal in mind.
Basically... I want to be desired. Of course it's not going to lead to sex because I'll never meet anyone from the anonymous world online. I have my opinions and I have attitude. I have history and some...🙄... level of charisma. It's never going to lead to sex but I do want to be desired. No promises on either side. Desired: willingness to communicate with me, I intrigue her enough so she's curious about me, she's interested in my stories, she might eventually be willing to share her stories with me, I never ask personally identifying information. It doesn't have to be intimate. I try to read a person and see how far it could go. It doesn't have to be about sex. I've got some good recipes in here. I've learned medical information in here. I've learned world history in here. Everyone is different and everyone has something to offer, it's not always going to be sexual. I disagree with a lot of people. Most of the time I remain reasonable and agree to disagree and maybe learn more about other's perspectives... sometimes I'm a rude jerk and if they haven't already blocked me I try to apologize. Work in progress...😞. Yes, it's fun to share intimate stories from all walks of life. It doesn't always go there.
I won't approach anyone in real life. I don't want another relationship and I don't want anyone to misconstrue my intentions. I don't talk to women other than be cordial wirh a cashier. That's it. I only talk to women online because I'll never meet them.
You must still be a very young lady too believe that sex and respect are mutually exclusive of each other. When I hear woman say -"He JUST wanted sex!🙎- my impulse first impulse is to inform them that THEY MUST NOT BE DOING IT RIGHT ⚠️ - if it's really not a big deal to them. Sex is a euphemism that is misused in misunderstood and is in serious need of overhaul in terms of definition clarification and semantics. Just listen to me that the word doesn't have meaning or that's not important quite the opposite it has extraordinary meeting and just invaluable in describing a fundamental concept of mutual sharing of a very personal intimate and morally relevant nature of an individual's personality soul and physical forms and how that person perceives himself in these terms of physical and emotional awareness of self, that is being shared with someone special. To say something like that that all they want is sex it's like me sing well I only live in the universe it's not like it's a very big place is cramped it's crowded and I have no room to put things I'd really like to move into a larger unit like a macro verse, or a multiverse or an infinite verse. Anything larger in grandeur and more spacious than this cramped tiny puny little universe that I have to live in I mean it's it's only got room for a few billion galaxies and each of those galaxies only have room for a few trillion stars is too small I need something much bigger than that to have sex and through wild parties and did you grandiose things with sex there's not just sex but it's as big as the universe and all that coochie coochie coo Coochie coo🌹🌚🍼👉🤤👈🤱🌝🌺
I'd caution you to jump to conclusions. I often ask questions which I suspect I know the majority answer to, but I need them clearly illustrated to debunk the myth in the minds of many.
It is not the intent of your meaning on the value off sensual- sexual expression that I find fault thought with but societies lack of precision the use of the word sex and clarification of this various applications and concepts of specific relationship Dynamics. I interpreted your question is being more of a rhetorical question in relation to general attitudes of men's perceived awareness and value of sex where you might be opening up a discussion on what priority priorities in man has when he's asking a woman on a date and how she interprets his social cues in his responses to their conversations. My assumption is based on the semantics itself, and that's the one area of English communications actually, I'm pretty good at because my mom corrects but you got to admit the precision and specific criteria of the word and its definition is kind of lacking considering how diverse the human Community is becoming the different ways people Express themselves nowadays. me every single time I use word incorrectly or misspell it so semantics and the spelling I usually get correct but very least is semantics.
Personally? No. Sadly, that isn't the case for most men. But for me personally, I am looking for a life partner. So if I reach out to a woman romanticly, especially digitally. Truthfully, I am likely looking for her time, that way I can learn more about her, spend time with her, and gradually grow to know her for whom she truly is at her core. I have a big heart to give, but I give it sparingly. If she isn't interested in a life long relationship, I'm ending that sinking ship real quick. I don't got time for flakey people or manipulative relationships. If someone consistently shows either, my interested plummets fast. At that point, I'd end things. To sum it up in a word, No. I am not looking for sex when I reach out digitally. I am looking for her time. Because at the end, its the time we had that's meant the most to me, not the sex.
"Personally? No. Sadly, that isn't the case for most men." I think you need to recalibrate your thinking on that. On this poll, 85% of men is a huge majority.
That is true, on this pole. But from personal experience, and from being a man who has heard from other men, be it at the bar, casual get-together, etc. I don't think I will. Many people hide their ill intentions from the majority until they believe no eyes are watching. Not saying your wrong, just saying based on my personal experience from what men my other dude friends hang around saying very questionable things, to having had to pull other guys off women... I won't be changing my stance anytime soon. It's possible that I have been unlucky enough to encounter the worst sort of men possible, and I know it's not *all* men, as there are more than a few who come to mind that I personally know that would never do something of the sort. Still, too many disturbing interactions have left a sour taste behind I won't soon (if ever) forget. In short? take what I said with a grain of salt. My personal experience tends to weigh heavily on how I expressed my answer above. In the end, I can only speak from my observations or experiences
Yes, when a guy approaches a girl, his approach is rooted in his desire for sex from her. Any woman that thinks otherwise is naive about guys. He can't be approaching for a relationship because he knows nothing about her. If he wants a relationship based solely on her looks then that's a doomed relationship.
Now, if he approaches her and finds out that she's really nice and can offer him much more than her looks, then he'll want a relationship from her if that's what he's looking for. If she's not offering anything of substance, then he'll just want one thing from her and move on. Or he'll just move on.
Me, personally, if I approach a woman it's because I find her sexually attractive and want to see if she's worth pursuing for something more.
What you said is exactly true. For SOME guys. Some want just sex. The guys who want just sex wrongly assume that all men think like them. The goal for some guys is that, ideally, they do want relationships. You shouldn't call women naive who know, and have experienced, this. You are not on the receiving end of what men want from women.
I 100% agree with your second paragraph. I know this. There's nothing wrong with this. The issue is that many girls/women interpret that as "he wanted me only for sex." It could be a justification, in their minds, and a way to avoid the deeper cut, which is that "I didn't offer, or have, enough, for him to want more." What many guys are doing is looking for sex... and more. She may or may not have what he wants, in order to give up the random sex with others, "but I'll take the sex, in the mean time" sort of thing, "while I keep looking."
Yes, some guys want just sex without a relationship. Some want sex within the confines of some sort of committed relationship. The point is, ALL guys want sex. All that remains is what package that comes in. For a woman to assume that a guy wants a sexless relationship is naive. That's what I was getting at. No guy wants that, and because he can't know a woman's personality before interacting with her (in most cases), any approach he takes is based on a woman's phsyical attractiveness to him. It's not based on her personality, no matter how much they want it to be. Sex will always be the motivator. I think that's what women refuse to acknowledge when they erroneously say "[all] guys only want one thing".
Which ties into your next paragraph. Girls say this as coping mechanism to paper over the fact that perhaps she just isn't relationship material. Maybe he didn't find her compatible with him, whatever the reason was. She had only one thing he wanted, which was enough to get his attention, but not enough to make him stay. And in some cases, for guys with low standards and self-esteem, that is enough to make him stay.
Then she'd have to assume that the reason for his approach is sexual in nature and not for a relationship. Whether it's purely sexual or not depends on the guy, but sex is certainly involved. Her thinking should be "this guy wants sex from me, but maybe he'll want something more". The problem is some women tell themselves the first half and then write the guy off as being a perv or whatever denigrating adjective she wants to use not believing the second half could be equally true for that particular guy.
The idea of ONLY is one of the reasons why females react the way they do, when approached.
This is very simple. All men want sex. But not all men want all women for only sex all the time. I am trying to ascertain how many men do. Which I am doing for men's/society's benefit. Not to give them/men the advantage, of course, but to dispel a myth that blocks people from finding, and having, relationships, when it is the very thing which many people do want. I think you have been missing my point, or purpose of asking this.
No, I understood why you're asking this. Where we got derailed was where you took umbrage with me saying women who think a guy's approach is not inherently sex-motivated are naive.
You said "SOME want just sex... You shouldn't call women naive who know, and have experienced, this" in response, which missed my point of all guys want sex, some want just sex, some want sex + relationship, but it'd be naive to assume no guys want sex. Thus, any approach a guy makes is rooted in his desire for sex.
I think you summed my point up nicely when you said...
"All men want sex. But not all men want all women for only sex all the time."
You're not very good at sales, huh? What you're doing is not helping your end goal (you know, of all men.) I still think you should stay away from calling girls naive. They are not naive about this. At all. In fact, it's probably point #1 in the 'girl handbook.' 'Watch out for boys/guys/men. They'll use you for sex, if you're not careful. You're the brakes.' Duh. Just because one of, if not 'the' most motivating factor for guys approaching girls, is sex, doesn't mean you or any other guy should go and emphasize this, remind them of this. It's like telling a guy, 'Hey, when you get in a relationship with a girl, she's goona wanna talk a lot. Like, way more than you do. Oh, and take her out shopping and watch rom-coms too." It's part and parcel of being in a relationship, but you don't sell it to the guy that way!
No, I hate sales. Sales is all about telling a convincing lie long enough to get someone to buy your product. That's not for me. I'm more a fact-based person. Whether those facts are comfortable or not isn't my problem. They are what they are.
I never said women are naive. I'm sure they get told from a young age that "guys are only after one thing" since they were 11. I said the ones that choose to believe that men are not sex-driven are naive. If that hurts men's end-goal then that just means that women can't handle reality and would prefer to have a comforting lie told to them in order to get into a relationship. If they want that, then they can hook up with players who'll tell them all of the comforting lies they want to hear. I prefer honesty. They may not like my honesty, but they'll have no uncertainty about my feelings on a topic, which I presume is more reassuring than them wondering whether I'm just telling them what they want to hear. Speaking of which...
"Just because one of, if not 'the' most motivating factor for guys approaching girls, is sex, doesn't mean you or any other guy should go and emphasize this, remind them of this"
So what your advocating for here is for us to lie and say something like "of course we're not interested in only sex". That kind of flies in the face of your question and one could view your poll results as being a reflection of a bunch of guys choosing not to "emphasize this" and instead tell women what they want to hear. I'm not saying that's what happened, but when you tell men not to be truthful so they don't "give away their hand", so to speak, you wind up with a lot of half-truths in order to lure women into a sense of security that may not exist.
And to your example about guys, if you don't sell the pros and cons then you're being intentionally dishonest. It's like me selling you something, extolling all of the benefits but neglecting to tell you it'll break down after 3 years. But anything to make a sale, right?
No. I would never, ever, advocate lying. And I hate sales too. I'm terrible at it. I don't want to convince anyone of anything. But your cold, harsh, reality is not going to work. I think we are seeing the death of dating here. This is the beginning of everyone going their own way. Not all people, but a huge number, probably the majority, from this point on. You can't simply say guys want sex, end of story. It's already a stalemate. You want to just add to the pile? But otoh, I'm not sure how much I do care. I have not contributed to this mess at all. I just happen to be witness to it, and to the downfall of social harmony. You know enough about me to know that I have a lot of very deep and personal conversations with people and I have a pretty good grasp on how a lot of men feel about dating today. There are guys who, for their entire lives, just see women's value as a temporary sex partner. And there are guys who, at a given, specific, point in their lives, don't want any deep emotional entanglements (girls/women go through this too.) But there are also tons of guys (and girls) who would love a deep, romantic, best friend, supportive, partner and relationship. Everyone knows it's hard to achieve. Cause it's fucking hard! Yet, if they could get it, without it being a complete headache and nightmare, they would love to have it. It simply isn't true that men ONLY want sex, and nothing more. Emphasizing that it's a huge driver for men is redundant, and counterproductive. But I don't want to waste a bunch of time debating something which I already know to be true, because I've spent my entire life having these types of conversations with men. No one is naive here. I still think you're couching this whole thing in a very ugly way; in an unnecessary way.
I don't really see what I'm saying wrong. Clearly you're more sensitive to the topic than I am. You asked when we approach a women, is sex the only thing we want. And it depends on the guy. Some yes, some no. Some want more. Some want a loving relationship with a great woman. But he's still got to find one and approach one. So what motivates him to approach girl A instead of girl B given he knows nothing about either? Well, how sexually attracted he is to girl A vs B. Or, if you'd like a less blunt word, how physically attracted he is. That's all there is. Guys need something to go on in the beginning, and it's going to be looks. Now that doesn't mean that's all we care about. But in the beginning, that's all we have to go on. And it's not a bad thing. It's just how we choose who to approach.
But the reality is, in this day and age of social media, there's a lot of women who don't offer more than their looks. Their personalities are less than desirable. And the ones that do offer more make it difficult to get to know because they don't appear to want a guy and never put themselves in positions to be approached. I know from first hand experience, but that's another can of worms.
I'll agree with you that dating is really hard and a lot of guys are tapping out because we feel it's been stacked against us. We're a creep if we approach the wrong girl at the wrong time. We're too passive if we don't try. We never get matches on dating apps. Women go out of their way to ignore us outside or openly criticize us on this site. The way things have been going the last decade, it seems like we're unwanted by the new age of independent, masculine women who don't need a man nor seem to want one. It's tough to justify trying these days.
Of course sex is likely in the back of my mind. But there's so much more to be gained from connecting romantically with the right girl besides sex.
Only wanting sex from a girl who could give you so much more (affection, mental stimulation, emotional connection, etc) is like going to a nice restaurant with exotic cuisine, and eating nothing but meat and potatoes. Yeah, you can still fill up on it, but it's not really expanding your palette or enriching your experience. (Unless you're Rob Swanson lol.)
Haha no no no no no. That's not what I want at all. (At least not in the near future.) I'm looking for my partner and soulmate, the love of my life. If I reach out to someone romantically, my purpose is simply to have a conversation and get to know one another better, and find out whether we might be right for each other. And that doesn't happen in a day; it's a process. The objective is to discover similarities such as shared interests and values. And to see if our personalities mesh. It's supposed to be a low-pressure environment. It's supposed to be fun! Of course, not everyone matches up, and that's totally fine. In that case, you just move on to the next contestant. :)
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Well I really like how many women like posting provocative photos of themselves on dating apps and then hypocritically complain when they get that kind of attention they are literally asking for.
I still have a chiseled athletic body and a 6 pack. But I don’t post shirtless pics on my dating app profiles. If I do it sends a signal that either 1) I’m vain and/or 2) a f boy. Either way it’s not how. I would expect a woman to take me seriously. It comes off as douchey to many women (even when I was younger). And men don’t get away with the bs excuse of saying “oh it’s about confidence” or some other crap when we show off suggestive pics.
Anyway I am not saying you post pics like that. But from I’ve seen more then 50% of women do nowadays.
I think partially it's about the man in question. Some men flit from vagina to vagina and conquests are all that interest them.
Some of it is situational. Guys after a breakup or divorce are usually just looking for sex to lick their wounds and feel better about themselves. Last thing they want to do is dive into ANOTHER relationship after being burned.
Some of it is opportunism: Can I nail this chick? And often, if they can, they have no further interest.
On the other hand, some men do have sex on the brain first and foremost, but something about a woman could change their mind and cause them to look further.
pretty good point of view but still its not JUST about sex either. a part of it really isn't something i can put into words either. like i stated in my own opinion, its the little things. its also some things about each other you can't put your finger on or explain but you just know for some reason.
I voted B, but that's not the complete story. I prefer to be in a relationship, but that doesn't mean that I'd want a relationship with every girl - even for me, a "relationship guy", there are girls I don't want a relationship with but would still pursue (when I'm single, obviously) for only sex.
And lots of guys don't want relationships - they ONLY pursue women for sex. But even relationship guys still find far more women sexually attractive than they do "relationship attractive."
I am really shocked like I've never really used dating sites mainly because of this site the amount of times I've gotten dick pics from random guys because I say a few sexual things it's unbelievable, I'm always quite weary when guys message me as I'm wondering is this gunna be yet another guy with a dick pic or ya know someone who has actual genuine questions
There was exactly one time in my life I offered sex and nothing else. But that is after she posted "I am inexperienced, please suggest ideas how you would like to have sex with me, I may respond to some of you." She didn't respond. In all other instances, I wanted only serious relationships. I even had situations where a woman openly said she would like to have sex or started suggesting she might take off her clothing if I'm intetested, pointing out that we are alone in the whole building. I refused to participate both times, despite the woman being really attractive
This man's thought process, under the constraints given: "Wow, she's gorgeous." "I wonder what sex would be like with her" "I hope she has a brain to go with those looks." "If I introduce myself will she reject me?" "Fuckit, all she can say is no."
"Excuse me miss, has anyone told you today that you are absolutely gorgeous?" Cheesy, yes.
Sexual attraction is there for sure, I will admit that if I don't feel attracted to a woman physically I won't approach with interest, but would be friendly with her.
I will admit it is shallow, but ultimately if her personality is not a good one despite appearance I would want nothing to do with her, either. Sexual attraction is key in relationships and that includes appearance.
Seeing the update, then I will elaborate further and say no. Sex is a bonus, but the intimate company with the relationship is really the best part in my eyes.
The only way to answer this correctly is to speak for myself and no not me. Other men might have different intentions and who knows I've had friends that girls would consider an angel but me the hot bad boy just because I looked that way meanwhile they came across as kind and moderate but when they'd leave they'd be the first to say sexual things about a girl I'd be talking to.
I actually don't want sex, at least not immediately. I'm saving myself for marriage so that is much more of a distance option for me. However, if I'm interested in someone romantically there has to be that sexual attraction. But I could not imagine having or maintaining a sexual attraction with a woman, whether sex is present or not, if we did not have a deep emotional connection as well.
not going to lie and say that is not a part of it but that us not the only thing. the sex part is very important to me but again not the only thing. i also want to know my life outside of the sexual component/s won't bore her nor her's bore me. can we find other things, again outside of sex, to do together and both enjoy ourselves? can we be compatible on little things.
No not me. I need to actually really like her as well and she's taking me seriously in order for me to want to have sex with her. It takes time for that to happen getting to know each other in person. Just texting or just met isn't even close enough for me to do that yet. If her personality is awful, I want nothing to do with her.
If I'm attracted to somone I'm gonna want to sleep with that person. But that's supposing the attraction is only physical. Somtimes women actually write something interesting about themselves but more often than not their entire presentation is devoted ONLY to what they're looking for, not what they offer. A person like that who just assumes any man would want a relationship based on pictures alone will be disappointed.
The question definitely could have been far far better worded lol
Still not entirely sure I grasp the question you intended to ask, but what I think you're asking is..
If I am the man were to meet a woman out in my everyday life, not at a bar, I just dated a life I got to Starbucks in line or something and I were to get her number or social media and reach out to her after we met in person
Sex is first thought honestly. I'm open to more. My general look at it is I want to go out and have a good time. If we have sex, that's okay I still had a good time. If we don't have sex. That's okay I still had a good time. But I'm still leading things towards sex in the majority of cases unless it doesn't feel right
Girl I'm seeing now I literally met on the street. My friend pointed her out and said, "hot girl. You should go talk to her". Now she and I are a thing lmao. It started as pretty girl, go talk to her. I like her let's get coffee. I still like her let's grab a drink. We like eachother let's go smoke. I invite her to a pool party.
We end up having sex. I walk her back to her hostel at like 4 am like homeless people. We exchange numbers and make plans to see each other again. I called her up and we've been seeing eachother ever since
How'd you go about approaching her? Most girls in my area give off a stuck-up, unfriendly, leave-me-alone vibe. Last good-looking girl I approached just pretended I wasn't even there haha.
@JSmuve just didn't overthink it. I was in a good mood. Walked at an angle towards her thinking how to start a conversation. Just picked the first obvious thing. She had some really nice shades so I opened with that and started talking about how my friend earlier that day bought $400 sunglasses and gave her the detailed story lol.
After saying excuse me and commenting on the glasses I turned to walk with her so I was walking alongside her telling her the story rather than stopping her in the street
You don't want to get in a way or stop a girl from going where she's trying to go
It doesn't matter. If she finds the guy attractive, she'll give it a try. If she doesn't, she'll reject him.
If she gives it a try and gives it up, but the relationship fails, she'll assume he was only after sex. If she gives it a try but doesn't give it up, and the relationship fails, she'll assume he was only after sex.
So the only time it isn't assumed is when it works out. It's just a catch-all excuse
Me personally there has already been some type of romantic or intimate communication before I reach out in that way. I’d have to be pretty confident that she’d be expecting this kind of Communication.
For me at least, if I reach out to woman digitally and I don't actually know her irl then I'm more than likely a fan of her work so I'm looking to get to know her rather than just fuck her.
i believe this one of many things to show how online can miss with someone mind maybe it me but with me i keep want get some spet from relationship like im very up fornt about what i want and more shocking then normal so are the ladies are so i dont believe every one who is romantically connent with someone the first thing on the mind is sex at last for me it the last thing on my mind bc i dont think the two is in the ball park as online has us to believe
For a moment in my life yes. I wanted to be single and was fully honets with the girls I met about my intentions. If they were on the same on the same page great if not then well it was nice to meet you.
i'm a guy, Of course i want sex, But that is maybe 10% of what i want. When i make the effort to reach out i want most of all a friendship or relationship..
I would never only want sex from a woman, and would only want it from my wife. I want a girlfriend, and enjoy having purely casual girl friends as well.
I am looking for a long term relationship and sex is just a part of it, for me our wave-length should match and we should comfortable with each other before sex comes up
only if that’s all she has to offer. if she’s attractive of course i want to have sex with her but if she’s actually fun and has a good personality/attitude then i’ll like her for more than just sex. A lot of cute girls that are not fun to be around or just a bitch complain about guys just wanting sex from them and i’m always ya no shit sherlock, it’s not like he’s spending time with u cuz of your sparking personality 😂
y'all have to quit assuming that about us. If he keeps asking you on dates he's interested. You don't have to give him sex right away if you don't want to. The ones that want sex won't keep asking for dates.
IL be honest. The only reason I want a girl at all is for sex... I don't want a relationship.. I'm an introvert and I like being alone... Girls have no use for me... Apart from if a girl wants to have sex with me... That's the only thing I would want a girl for
Do you like to spend much free/social time around men? Does your "I like being alone" remove men too? Or do you have some male friends, but of the little time you want to spend with people, you'll always choose men?
Uhhhh. Well... I don't even have male friends.. haven't had a friend since I was like 6 or 7... But to be honest... I'm not fussy which gender I'm friends with... I seem to connect better with males cos I'm less anxious around them and understand them better... But I'd like a female friend too if I could have one...
No. But since the vast majority of girls do not respond or they ghost, sex only is probably all we should want from them anyway. It's not like I sent them a picture of my genital or asked them for the width of theirs.🙄
To paraphrase Douglas Adams, I have as much sex appeal as a road accident. For me to approach a woman for sex makes about as much sense as approaching a homeless man for a loan.
No, and I would want to be together for a while (weeks, possibly months) to see how compatible I am with her first before sex. But I guess I have too high of expectations (listed in my profile) and it is impossible to find someone good enough.
I like the overall interaction, of course sex can be a big part of it but only that is not enough for me. I really would like to know every thing about women I want to talk to here.
Ooooh I'm dumb. I see why you used the word "irrelevant" now. You should delete my comments. I totally had a blonde moment there. I don't know where my head was...
Unless he is contacting you for an explicit reason about something else, yes… men don’t just reach out to women just to talk about stuff. At least in my experience
That's not the question. He's interested in the girl, in some capacity (attracted to her.) The question is does he only want sex, or does he want more.
@maddie_raven , I am straight and asexual. I only feel attraction by the face or smile, sometimes by what they do, which is not as often. But I don’t feel that desire. In fact, I was always disgusted from the time I learned the way children are produced. #StraightAndAsexual#FearlesslyMyself
Home > Guy's Behavior > Polls > Men, when you approach or reach out digitally to a woman (romantically) is the ONLY thing you really want from her... sex?
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