Sexual Health
+1 y

He thinks kissing is cheating, but a blowjob is fine?!

My boyfriend thinks that it's cheating if you dance with someone and kiss them, but if you get a blowjob and DON'T touch the girl or kiss her, it's not cheating. He says he still wouldn't do that, because it would hurt me, and because it's trashy (and if a girl is going to give you a blowjob she is probably going to kiss you) but I'm really disturbed that he believes this. Is this something most guys believe? I told him kissing a girl is not as bad as getting a blowjob, but he even said that if a guy went down on me, and didn't kiss me, he wouldn't be mad! He was a little drunk when he was saying this, and I have to admit I got a little mad. Now I'm afraid he thinks i"m unreasonable. So guys, do you agree with him? He even thinks dancing is cheating, but for some reason doesn't think a blowjob or a "happy ending" is if you don't touch the girl, because you're not technically doing anything.
Updates:
+1 y
this doesn't mean he's going to do it, I don't think he would.I just wanted to know if anyone else agreed with him, or why a guy would feel this way.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Heck no, most guys don't believe what your boyfriend does, certainly not me. So what do you call it if the girl touches HIM and letting her do that? It immediately changes to his touching her too. You're right! Kissing isn't as far advanced towards cheating as getting a blowjob. It seems like anyone would realize that . Well you just let a guy go down on you and tell him and watch his reaction. lol! He'll probably go through the roof. It's easy to talk but the reality is much different. You are definitely NOT unreasonable so please don't change you position on this. Maybe he's blowjob crazy and is preparing you for what he's saying is ok/ Ask him where he gets his silly notions from. Like how is a girl suppose to give him a blowjob or you let another guy to go down on you without you touching him? That'd be the most delicate maneuver in the world. About like what a brain surgeon has to be able to do. Just don't try to convince him and cause a dispute in your relationship. Just tell him if that ever happens he's out the door! haha!

  • I agree with you. I think that would be wrong and can't understand cheating. If you want to be with someone, then why cheat?

    Having fun conversations, and jokingly flirting is one thing. A drunken kiss is maybe a mistake. Being intimate is wrong, especially if willingly.

    Could you help me on mine pls? It's similar and not sure what or why this female friend is doing these things? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1589447-why-is-this-female-friend-behaving-like-this-please-help-can-you

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well, I know a lot about guys, and I understand what he believes to be correct (BUT ISN'T!). Men often make a strict line between sexual components and emotional ones. Some more so - like your boyfriend, and some, more sensible guys less so. Your guy believes that if he gets this from a girl, for whom he doesn't feel anything it will automatically mean nothing since no emotions were involved in this, but on the other hand dancing and kissing contain a bundle of deep emotions which should not be shared with anyone else but the one you love.

    That's about it.

  • He is just saying that so if another girl gives him a BJ and you ask if he cheated on you he can say no with a clear conscience because he already told you its not cheating to him. I would tell him that if someone gives YOU oral sex it isn't cheating then since you aren't touching them (even though their mouth is touching you goodies). Who even thinks like that? I would dump somebody who can lived in such a warped reality.

  • your boyfriend is in the wrong if he thinks a bj is not cheating it is cheating for sure and dancing he thinks that is cheating it isn't unless you get sexually aroused by the person you are dancing with and get carried away and start having sex on the dance floor and it sounds like he would be mad though if a guy kissed you that is intimate but so is giving and receiving a bj or getting eaten out

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 12

  • ewwww - he's WAY wrong. No you were not unreasonable. You are absolutely correct.

  • This is stupid. He's way wrong.

  • . . . I don't think dancing is cheating unless it is dirty dancing. I peck is fine for you gay best friend (opposite sex) or jokingly with a almost any close friend. But there is no situation I can think of where a bj is not cheating. The majority of people, as far as I know, agree with you.

    • I agree with her as well!

  • He was just talking drunk, don't think too much of it.

  • A Blow Job = CHEATING!Trust he is only setting things up,so if it happens to him or if it already happened,then everything will be fine.

  • Your boyfriend has either obviously cheated on you, doesn't really care about you or is just fucked in the head. I think he really doesn't care about you, treating you like a slut.

  • His opinion is selfish and ridiculous. Blowjobs are very sensual and definitely do mean cheating if you give or receive them with someone who isn't your SO

  • lol this is so funny I had to ask you it depends if he was deepthroated or not...lol

  • Any sexual or sensual contact to me is cheating. Unless both parties have discussed and are comfortable with it.

  • No way! Dancing is fine, even hot dirty dancing with lots of groping is fine in my opinion (she likes dancing like that and it's cool with me) but kissing and blowjobs are cheating!!

  • No kissing or tounching but a bj is fine or if another another guy just goes down on you then that's fine because i feel that kissing and touching is on another level

  • Nah dude is a narcissist smh

  • There is no universal cheating guide and you shouldn't listen to what others think what is or isn't cheating. Cheating is doing something that was previously agreed it would be cheating. If he feels you can get oral sex and that is not cheating for him, then that is true for your relationship. If you are not comfortable with him getting his dick sucked by someone else, then it is cheating. I was once in a relationship that allowed both of us to have full sex with other people. Kissing and going on dates was also allowed and doing so was not cheating. We agreed that having romantic feelings for someone else wad cheating, and I had to let go two lovers because I was starting to feel things for them.

  • I also never considered blowjob as cheating.

  • I don't see what your point is.

  • Maybe I'm too strict with my boyfriends, but I would dump him on the spot if one ever said anything like that. I think the idea of him saying that would just turn me off so bad that I could never look at him in the same loving way ever again.

    • I agree with her!

  • lol sorry to sy but to me even talk too long to any other gal even his friend or touch them is cheating and I will immediatly break up cause he is nt pure by then. ur Boyfriend is wrng you are right!

    • I disagree with you because he still can have female friends if he has a girlfriend. That doesn't mean that you are the only female person that he can communicate with.

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