I met a women 2 years ago in person while she was on a business trip from Ohio to New York. We never spoke since but connected again recently via the internet and have been chatting on VIDEO for over 2 months. The context of our DAILY conversations were very promiscuous and sexual. She decided to fly me out for her birthday weekend and got me a hotel because she lives with her brother and thought it would be inappropriate for me to stay with her. When I got there, we hooked up the first night but did not have sex. From that moment on, she got cold feet and acted very distant. Was I being too aggressive? I'm from New York and she's from Ohio. Is it possibly I said something? After that night in the hotel and with only her to drive me around, I ended up on the couch every night at their place. I got blue balls and she didn't get her money's worth. What was her intention and what should I have expected when I was flown out? I ended up playing it cool and during a conversation with her requested that she should have at least just been honest with me. It was a weekend of miscommunication but I made the best of it and had a good time regardless. I do not expect to hear from her...
Two years is a long time, which makes you essentially a stranger to her. One fantasy girls have is having a one-night stand with a stranger because if you aren't going to see a person ever again you can act as reckless and as wild as you want without fear of being judged. Now since our nation has become so technology oriented the same applies to the internet. I too am guilty of doing something similar; when I'm online and talking to a guy I will say things I'd never say in person because there is a certain level of protection.
Also if you're talking online about sex often the decision to have you fly out for her birthday may have been made in the heat of the moment. Get a girl hot and her inhibitions lower greatly but by the time you arrived she may have cooled off and come to her 'senses'. It was unlikely that it was your fault, connecting in person is different then it is online and she may have been already embarrassed by what her intentions had been and was feeling more withdrawn than normal. A girl with a healthy sexual appetite is sometimes misviewed as a slut and hooking up with someone she's only met once before may cause someone to clam up for fear of consequences or fear of judgment.
If there is a next time with her or anyone else don't expect her to act the same as she does online. Most of the time that spur of the moment feeling will have disappeared and it will be up to you to draw out that vixen once more. Start slow with small actions and make her feel comfortable; try and match with what you know turned her on when she was on the computer. If you can do that and essentially flip the switch between the cold distant girl and who you had been talking to daily it'll be worth the wait.
But if even that doesn't work you'll just have to accept that the whole affair was a strictly online thing. A girl likes knowing she's sexually attractive and those conversations may have been simply a good ego boost and a good clean way to get lost in the moment.
Great answer! So what do you feel is the next step? - 10 months ago
Answerer
Hmm, apparently I have only 250 characters to reply with and I have more to say than that. If you want me to message you I can; just let me know. - 10 months ago
Maybe the spark just wasnt there like it was via the net or maybe it was something as simple as at the last minute she started her period -so what to do then ???? sounds like you were really cool though so if it was the lack of spark she won't call but if it was just her monthly time she'll call and maybe try it again -sorry you got blue balls better luck next time
Well I am from Ohio. I hope you at least went to a good city..lol. I think when you talk via video or whatever, if you say things sexual its kinda like a game. I think she had all intentions of hooking up but probably realized she talked so much smack over the video she wasnt really like that. It was kinda like a fantasy for her. You were a fantasy. I hope you at least remain friends and come back to Ohio soon..We are pretty cool here and we do have the Bengals..LOL
I know I may be a lot younger but I have had experiences with this too.. Maybe its the fact that now she was with you she got nervous. Just give her time. You haven't seen her in person in a while.. If you have to ask her why and she will probably tell you! good luck! :] try to talk to her again!!
I would continue talking to her, if she wants. Now that you have met, you should be able to have an honest conversation. As far as the sex talk, remember that wasn't real until you met. Then you were faced with living out a fantasy. Kind of hard, after just meeting someone.
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