Am I too jealous?

You're not being too jealous. It looks like you're dating the wrong guy, he seems like he's not mature enough for a serious relationship and needs to go out and party like a single college frat boy. Maybe once he realises that one of the best things to happen to him was you he'll settle down and come back to you.

It's normal to feel jealous but that doesn't make it right. We should all try to better ourself, myself included.

You have to understand that jealousy is all about YOU and have nothing to do with what the other person say or do.

Jealousy is basically a few things:
1. Insecurity in yourself
2. A need to control others
3. A need to own others
4. Egoism

If you become more secure in yourself and lose the need to own and control your jealousy will also disappear. You can't own or control anything anyway. The only thing you can own is yourself.

Some people claim that jealousy is what you feel because you are afraid to loose what you love. And they are right. But the fact remain that this feeling is egoistic and is not for the well being of the one you love. It's all about what YOU want!

Let the ones you love be free and they will love you forever...

Dear sister, I really pity you because you have found yourself in something you had wished would never happen to you.
To start with, and unlike what some people are saying, you are normal and not jealous at all. I don't even think you know what jealousy is at all because of what you wrote, I am sorry for what I said but if you would hear the truth, that is the truth.
Before I go straight to my advice, I would like to ask you some questions:
* how did you meet?
* where did you meet?
* who are you? have you discovered who you really are?
* who is he?
* did you like his character before you started dating each other or probably in your early period of dating, where you able to discover some habits of his?
Back to your question; if you were to hear the truth, the guy is an addict and does not give a damn care about you at all. He does not even have regards nor respect for your feelings and dignity. How would he have when he does not respect or regards his life with dignity? Please answer me. He is not honest, plain, and truthful. He lacks maturity and commitment to that relationship, so is not fit to be hooked up with you. He thinks being in love with you is a bondage to him because he cannot hook up with other girls around and that is why he is doing all those things. My dear, just leave him and pack him out of your life until it gets too late when you will start experiencing a broken heart.
A word is enough.

You are too controlling and jealous. Tighter you hold a guy down the more likely he will cheat on you. I would have dumped you a long time ago. The best way to have a successful relationship is to be able to have your own lives with out the other one getting made about it or interfering. You need to work on you this is not about him. You are going to lose him if you don't chill out. So with you its guilty until proven innocent?

i don't think you should have control over him just because he is in a relationship.. 'letting him go out'? he's gona go whether you like it or not.. like you said.. you've caught him in lies and still continued lying.. what other choice does he have? if he fesses up, then your level of trust will only go down so his only option is to try his hardest to make you believe..

either way.. long distance relationships can be full of trust issues.. if he really does cross the line by getting drunk, making a fool of himself, having sex with another girl, or, which is infinitely worse: sleeping with a guy.. then you need to take control and end the relationship..

the reality of the situation is.. he sees no boundaries because you are not there.. and if you were not so loyal..( and I commend you for being loyal ), you would also see no boundaries and do what you like... you don't have many options in this situation.. I guess you are right to have a hard time trusting him.. seeing as how he lied before.. so why are you tolerating it? are you gona wait until he crosses the line or are you gona prevent a bad break-up?.. a preemptive break-up on your part would the best idea I have for you IF he continues to lie..

good luck.

A relationship without trust is a relationship doomed for failure. Forced behavior in a relationship is a relationship not in harmony. A relationship should make both parties better off than otherwise not at all. It sounds like he'd better off not having one at all. Or loosen up and let the man live. Remember, boundaries only provoke people to step over them, remove the boundary and there's no need to question jurisdiction because there is none.

wow ur relationship issuses sound a lot like what I'm going thru all I can say is tell him how you feel if he can't respect that den obviously he is takin yall relationship for granted and if ur in college dis means ur boyfriend is yunger then you since you sed when he turns 21 he wants too...
which is sort of hot (how do yall make it work) LoL
anyways I'm like that sleepin ova ish at a girls house or anywhere girls are is a dub that's really rude && def suspicious. I mean you shud let him party and hang out with his friends or he will resent u, you have to learn to trust him but at da same tyme its like ur relatioship has to have been built on a trust worthy foundation you can just make it a rule all of a sudden && his addiction to porn shud be sumthing you both share like try watchin it with him or actin sumthin out den he won't be bored of tryin to fuqk with other girls b.c he'll see how committed you are to tryin new things and makin him happy. but he shud stop lying if he lies its not a good ook && yes I'm in my almost 2 year relationship come dec 18th

Hard choice and I feel your pain. Do you see yourself with him down the road? Married? still together in the next year? If not then and I really hate to say this but I feel like I have to say it anyways. Brake up with him. You (it seems like) have tried to change him by getting him away from all of those things and it hasn't worked. Therefore you can't, as hard as it may be, change him. You don't deserve him because of what he's doing. He honestly may be a great guy but he's hurting you on purpose and he knows he is. He is perfectly aware! Yet he does it anyway. Why would he if he loves you so much? Why would he hurt you over and over? Keep lying? Betray your trust? Maybe (and don't take this the wrong way) he might be using you. Get out of there girl and don't look back.

I know its hard but you gotta just let go. He is young he is going to go out and explore let him. Just like the saying if you love someone let them go if they come back he's yours if doesn't he never was. You should be doing the same. By that go out with your friends- have fun. I know a married man who goes to bars and drinks with girls and has flirted with me before. But he loves his wife and he goes back to her everytime. She awesome- doesn't let anything get to her. Little by little you will get passed it. In the end if he cheats obvious he is not for you.

It sounds like you lost all trust for him. It's understandable because he lied to you. But if you keep feeling this way, and acting this way, your relationship will not get any better. He will eventually become miserable, and YOU will become miserable, if not already.
I know you feel like there is a big chance he will cheat on you. and that is why you have a tight leash on him. But you can't control him. He will do what he wants, whether you like it or not.
If he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat.
You've already talked to him about how you feel and all, and this is the outcome so far.. he is still going out and lying to you about it. so what does that tell you? obviously there is no point in telling him how you feel... I know you want to be heard.. I know you want to feel understood... but if it's not working yet.. then what makes you think it will work later? there are just some people who don't get it, or who just deal with it in ways we don't agree with. my point is... quit wasting your time.

The only solution to this problem is acceptance, and trust. You have to learn to accept things you cannot change. Like his wants. You can't change that. You also have to learn to trust him. It's not easy, but that is the only way to save this relationship. if you really can't... then you have to end it before it gets bad, and painful.

I guess my advice to you would be... try focusing on yourself for awhile. You said you don't do anything but stay home. Try going out. Attend parties and make new friends. Join clubs, or groups and meet new ppl. Do something YOU like, and enjoy. Focus on YOU right now. He is not sitting in his room right now worrying about you, so why are you sitting there worrying about him? Go out and do your own thing. Keep yourself busy and distracted. Leave him alone, and let him do what he wants. Because the truth is, he will do it anyway... so don't waste your time worrying about it and bugging him about it... it is a waste of your time. Just let him be.. and do what YOU want. it won't be easy, but try. It will help keep your mind of him a little bit.. You are too young to be spending most of your time worrying about a boy. You should be enjoying this time of your life, meeting new ppl, and seeing new things. So go do it.

I know you love him and everything but maybe it might be time to let him go. Clearly he's at a point where he wants to go out and do many stuff that you don't approve of and if he hasn't stopped doing those things even when you've confronted him about it then I doubt he's even going to stop. Especially now that you're far away. It's up to you whether you really want to hurt yourself by constantly worrying whether he's lying to you or not. Only you know what's best for you.