Why do guys think it's ok to view and treat women as objects? The excuse,"Oh I'm a guy" is not excusable. And guys don't say it's because the women are asking for it because that's not a valid reason either. I want to know the truth!
Update: I'm fully aware that there are good guys out there but the assholes that aren't good guys are the ones that this question is directed at. I apologize for offending people. That wasn't my intention.
9 months ago
The question in itself is sexist and offensive. I see the update. Perhaps you could have phrased your question in a better way, but you did acknowledge that, which is why I will still answer it. That said, for the guys that are sexist pigs, NOTHING gives them that right. Unfortunately, some guys haven't been brought up with the correct knowledge of how to not be sexist arsewipes. They don't seem to realize that it isn't funny to decent people to treat women with anything less than absolute respect and dignity. Some women don't exactly help the issue by acting in a less than exemplary way, but that's no excuse. There is NO excuse for the way some jerks act. There can never be one. That also goes both ways, though. There's no excuse for the way some women act, neither will there ever be. I'm no woman hater or anything, but honestly, women aren't perfect, and they sometimes treat men and women badly too. It's not about why someone acts a certain way, or what gives them the right to act like that. It's more about what can we do to make sure that we ALL, and I mean ALL, treat each other with TOTAL and ABSOLUTE respect and dignity.
I agree with your answer completely and yes I did use a poor choice of words when asking the question in the first place. Didn't mean to upset so many people. But your answer is so heartfelt and beautifully worded thank you. - 9 months ago
Answerer
Thanks and I appreciate the 'best answer' thing. It's a pleasure. The question did give the connotations that you thought All men were like this, but now I read it carefully, you never actually said that. You should see some of my questions that I've asked. I HATE guys like this with something resembling a passion, so yeah, it was heartfelt. They're the ones that make some women believe that all guys are like the morons. Unfortunately many are. It's so sad. Sorry for guys that are. It's shameful - 9 months ago
Question Asker
I'm actually a HUGE fan of your questions and I know that you're not like this lol I probably gave myself away - 9 months ago
Answerer
Ah. Yes, I suppose that I can guess who you are. Only one person that I know writes something that you wrote in that particular way. Lol. That and the fact you've said it before. Thanks! This was actually an interesting Q. I attempted (when I answered) to boost the rating, but it appears only to have given you one more star. Is it maybe a curse of where you work? Some interesting things have been said about guys like that in your career. It's generalizing, but is it true? - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Yes it's true. I'm surrounded by it and I have to work twice as hard to prove that I'm not the typical kind of girl in my career. And thank you for trying to boost the rating lol I appreciate it. And it's funny that you use the word hate lol - 9 months ago
Answerer
LMAO. Yeah, I suppose it is. Read my new comment. I hope it makes me less hypocritical. I hate contradicting myself. I'm so bad. *shakes head despondently I need to get a newer vocab. If it's any consolation, what I've gotten to know of you on this site, you've proven it here countless times. It must be hard dealing with guys that treat women like that, yet you have to grin and bare it continuously. Do you tell guys like that off, or just grin and bare? - 9 months ago
Question Asker
I grin and bare unless it's too out of line, then I'll tell them off or report them if it continues. And thank you! I'm glad I've proven it somewhere lol. And everyone is contradicting in some form, it's what makes us human. I'm extremely contradicting. I'll be hungry but won't feel like eating, I'll be cold but too lazy to get a jacket, things like that lol. - 9 months ago
Answerer
If you report them, does something get done about it? I've heard so many women say that reporting does nothing, only that the people that they go to just laugh. That really sucks. I hope that they really do do something worthwhile to end the stupidity. Treat them to green peppers or something. That'll shut them up quickly. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
I have had some horrific experiences and when I did report them,they basically got a slap on the wrist and I was re-victimized. They look at it from a male's perspective told me that I'm probably sending mixed signals to these guys without realizing it. I know that there are girls that do that,but I'm very straight forward with what I'm comfortable with and what makes me uncomfortable. I've realized that no matter how much of a front they put up and say everything's equal,that I'm in a man's world. - 9 months ago
Answerer
That sort of thing REALLY, REALLY %$&%es me off. When someone who is supposed to be in a trusted place of authority and they turn it around like that. Did you hear that scream just now coming across the pond? That was me. Or a bee. But I think it was me. Is there a higher up that you can go to? I mean, surely complaining about it isn't a mixed signal? That's a pretty obvious sign you don't want that. Don't let anyone say it isn't your world. If it hasn't been, take it and don't let go. - 9 months ago
Lol there is a pond right outside our apartment it's funny that you said that. And things like that happen all the time but as I said I just let karma bite them in the ass. One of the guys is getting kicked out for a DUI now and the other one is still waiting for his turn. People are set in their ways and stick to their views and opinions and I've gone to the highest level I could and realized that I can't change them. But the reason I work so hard is to prove that I deserve to be part of that world - 9 months ago
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Answerer
And I see it shows, so well done. I suppose the DUI was whilst he was in the wrong place that it can affect his career? Normally I wouldn't have thought that a DUI can affect it, but I suppose it is a special thing in your case. Have to be beyond reproach and all that jazz. Wish it'd go to sexist piggishness too, don't you? 'Shape up or ship out' would be a new warning that'd get heeded really quickly. Leave no room for disagreement. Time will catch them soon. Good on you for standing up about it - 9 months ago
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Question Asker
Well they have the incident documented and all it took was for him to mess up one time and he's done. He decided to get extremely drunk and drive, got caught and now I won't have to ever see him again. I love how things happen for a reason. And thanks a bunch it means a lot to me to be praised for standing up for myself for once=-) - 9 months ago
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Answerer
Ooh, that had to have hurt for a long time to come. Vengeance is sweet sometimes, even if it was his own doing. What about the other thing that calls itself a guy? Anything possible for him to get 'bitten' by karma? Public humiliation is always good *evil laughter*. One such thing that I've heard is to really make a big thing out of it whenever he does something. Shout really loudly so that everyone knows he's a bastard. Swipe the grin off his mug. - 9 months ago
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Question Asker
I don't want to do anything to him because the sight of him makes me sick, but I know that he's bound to mess up somewhere down the line. He's married with children and I have a feeling that one day he will be alone. His wife is aware of what he's done and she's still standing by his side, but people can only take so much. I got the satisfaction of hearing him get yelled at though. It wasn't pleasant(for him lol) It was nice to hear him get broken down so he could feel a little bit what I felt. - 9 months ago
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Answerer
I doubt it was a great experience for him at all. That's one of my worst nightmares - public humiliation. Don't get me wrong, I care little for what others think of me beyond my friends, but it wouldn't be great. Perhaps if you did it to him, he'd be even more vulnerable now than before. If his wife is aware about what he's done, perhaps she will be putting private pressure on him to stop. That or you can convince her of the truth so that she does 'chat' publicly with him again. Nyehehe. Lol. - 9 months ago
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Question Asker
Oh I didn't get to hear him get yelled at by her. I heard him get yelled at by Chiefs, Senior Chiefs, Master Chiefs, and officers. They called him a sick f**k, told him he didn't deserve to be wearing his uniform, that he was a disgrace to men, and much more. He walked out of there with his head down and in tears. They also demoted him, but I still don't feel that justice was entirely served. - 9 months ago
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Answerer
Whoo! Wow, he must've done something really, REALLY bad to warrant that and yet for you to think it isn't enough. It's despicable what I've heard goes on with some guys, esp in your profession. If he did anything like what I've heard happens, I wouldn't have stopped at just a demotion and the bosses shouting. Kicked his ass in jail with a lovely hormone shot that changes a few things a little bit in his life. If he did that, the truth will out, and you can see true justice come out in the end. - 9 months ago
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Question Asker
Yes that is more along the lines of what he deserves. - 9 months ago
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Answerer
I'm sorry. That's something I shouldn't have asked or mentioned. I hope that he does get it, and that you're able to move past him. Guys that treat women as anything less than human don't deserve to be called that themselves. I'm really sorry for that remark. - 9 months ago
wayta give a sexist question. "all gys are sexist pigs" even with the update you have no right to say that. Stereotypical maybe? I'm guessing one guy treated you like an object now you think all guys are the same. So here's my advice to you. suck it up, your probably 3x more sexist than this guy was to you. especially with the title of ur question. I'm surprised it wasnt removed
Pay attention to detail doll it doesn't say ALL guys, it says guys as in a general term. So you suck it up and don't get so easily butt hurt dude. - 4 months ago
Answerer
How about you stfu. you said guys in general. maybe you could have said some guys? usually wen you say guys ur talking about the group "guys" which includes um. all of them? so yeah maybe you should learn the english language a little better before you start worrying about anything else - 4 months ago
Its simple. Guys treat women like objects cause its safer and because we think we can.
1. Guys are always afraid of being rejected or laughed at. Its easier to handle rejection if you turn the person into an object. So if that one didn't like you, the next one will.
2. We think we can get away with it simply because its easy and has always been the case is our society. I mean hey, if we aren't allowed to cry there has to be some benefit for us haha.
Yes I know lol I've met a lot of outstanding ones, I was just looking for insight as to why there are guys out there that feel they have the right to be jerks just because they're guys. - 9 months ago
Answerer
Well I would say it would come from up bringing and from past experiences. Some men were brought up in house hold where woman were looked at as sex objects. Others were brought up in a home where woman were looked at as smaller or lesser than a man. They could have had a girl completely destroy their heart and now they act resentful to all women. Or maybe their mother left them or treated them like shit. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
That's true and I can see how all of those things contribute to a man's outlook on women. I never really thought of it that way. Thank you - 9 months ago
Is this an honest quest for knowledge or just a rant? Nothing gets on a man's nerves quite like woman calling us pigs/jerks/losers in general just because someone had a bad deal with another guy. Take it from an ethnic minority, these men-bashing statements are as on par as racial jokes. Men do not believe in the right to possess sexism any more than women feel they are true goddesses. So in essense, you did hit a nerve.
Sure there are bad men. But they loudly drown out the majority of good men trying to prove themselves. But this task is quite impossible when women tout stickers on their cars and wear shirts in public berating men openly. Ever worked at an office? Dozens of downloaded slogans and coffee mugs that declares how men suck. No fun. Do we deserve it? Probably not. But it's out there and far more common than you may think. Ever had a man walk up to you and ask quite rudely, "Why are women bitches? " Now you know what us men go thru. Instead of labelling all men so blatantly, why not ask the offending individual why he's a pig?
Sure we can blame our culture, but I blame more on our total lack of general respect for each other as a whole. Just because I see cleavage on TV does not me I lack the maturity and professionalism to ask women for sex on the spot(that's what Nevada is for). We all need to relearn how to be good and couteous to one another. Religion alone is not the solution. We must rid ourselves or racism and dual sexism to help this happen.
I agree with you and it's obvious you didn't read my entire comments better explaining the question. And as for the minority thing hun get over it there's no such thing as a minority anymore if you really look at the breakdown of this country's population. It is a quest for knowledge I wasn't bashing all guys just the ones that give all guys a bad name. - 9 months ago
Oh yeah and I have guys coming up to me every day asking why women are such bitches and I tell them why. I don't take it personally because it's not me. - 9 months ago
You really want to know the TRUTH! Well blame MTV and Britney Spears. People are constantly getting bombarded with sexual images and messages and well you women have also accepted it. Women have been told that their body is their best asset and you get what you want by utilizing it. I see more women showing cleavage even at the work place, and your going to get mad at me for looking well then don't put it out there. Piece of advice, if that is the kind of guy your finding maybe you need to change your taste in men?
Wow did I hit a nerve? So very sorry. At least you gave a good reason and there's a difference in looking because you're admiring and in gawking obnoxiously. And it has nothing to do with the guy I'm with, Mr. Defensive, just so you know. - 9 months ago
Answerer
Didn't hit a nerve. Men are sexist pigs that's why men hang out in locker rooms, the sports bar, and any sporting event, they like to go places where they can be obnoxious and loud (i. E. 85% of American men are loud and obnoxious). As far as the gawking goes in my msg I did not say gawk or oogle, I simply stated looking. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
I know and if you read my first comment over again, I said that there is a difference between the two, meaning I don't get mad at guys for simply looking, because in your answer you sad I'm mad at you for looking lol. It's the gawking and oogling that gets me mad. - 9 months ago
What Girls Said
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(Age:36 to 45)
When: 7 months ago
First Woman have to learn not allow themselves to become an object. If a girl wears a thigh high skirt with a low low cut top, then cries that jerk is treating me like a piece meat.Well does the shoe fit. I am not saying we should dress like woman from the Texas ranch, but come on, we can not have it both ways. Men are visual and every woman over 18 know this. Most men or guys who stare to hard and treat women like objects.she is displaying herself like an object. And I am not making excuses for men, I am trying make women to wake up! Some women will actual use sex to try and sell a house. A friend and I had gone in to view a model home, the gentle was dressed in suit and tie, point to the different model homes to view, went out of the other room, woman comes out with skin color bra skin color top with a skin color skirt that showed the outline of her thong. Tell me what was she selling? Come on, if a guy dressed like girls do now, we to would be staring and treating them like objects too. Cat calls and all. Hopeful woman will start gather more self-respect and make those rude guys go buy a rubber doll for their object.
Not every guy is like that, it's kinda like the minority that give the majority a bad name. And the ones that do?. Well their just pathetic little boys that haven't grown up yet! That are not worth spending ure time on. But don't worry like I said. There are good ones out there!