(yes yes I chose the topic to get a good number of replys soon so bear with me :))
the question is if girls dumb themselves down consciously in order to be more compatible?
i've seen it in my sisters when going out with them (26&28 me 21) versus sitting at home having a drink and talking or talking with them individually, as well as with potential girlfriends of mine and girlfriens of friends of me as well as colleagues from university.
when talking to them alone i.e. not near anyone they want to impress on a sexual level (boyfriends, potential mates etc.) or in a group they voice thorough opinions, evaluate themselves and situations successfully but its like flipping a switch and its suddenly a smiling face with little behind.
is this really only because of fear of rejection?
this leads to my second question. when dating girls I sometimes choose topics that are not so easy to manuver in order to see how they handle it as well as to gauge their general opinions and values and little of what comes out ever seems to differ from "i agree with you wholeheartedly" but I'm sure there is a good response hiding behind that - one I would love to hear and make that person more interesting in my eyes.
also this led some of my male friends to the notion that "girls are stupid" which I don't agree with on a general level of course so please tell me if you think this effect exists and is not only a figment of my imagination as well as if it exists why one would do something like that?
Well over the years girls can get the sense that guys are either intimidated by intelligence, or turned off by it..some people adapt. When I was younger I used to do that because I was told by some guys that I was geeky or boring so it made me think just to be lighthearted and not trying to be witty or whatever you wanna call it. Now I don't care. I watch MSNBC and I read, I can talk politics...if a guy doesn't like that then he isn't the one for me.
And why settle for less? I mean I would like for my significant other to appreciate all I am not only lets say looks or money... and its the same the other way around, I want to be able to like and admire all major aspects not only just one if she has it but is afraid to show..
the question that remains, since you're anonymous: how old are you now, when did you start being confident about it and why do you think weren't you at first? it doesn't come from ones parents no? (really curious here btw) - A month ago
Answerer
I'm 20. I only recently started thinking like this. especially in high school and last year I just thought you had to be a certain way to get attention. why? because all I see are guys going after girls who are lets just say they aren't playing scrabble for fun. my parents didn't really say anything one way or the other except to get my education because you can't depend on a man to take care of you. - A month ago
Depends on the girls you're hanging around with. Yes, some girls do that. Not all girls, obviously. Assess what kinds of girls you're attracting/going out with. A 'party girl' is more likely to act the way you're describing, for instance.
Also, if you're talking about in depth/complicated topics in the first couple of dates, shyer girls might be intimidated, which could be why you're getting the simple responses you are. Or what if they really do agree with you wholeheartedly? Or maybe you're with a girl who isn't too opinionated about certain subjects. The possibilities are endless. I know a very brilliant girl that prefers not to discuss heavy topics with others unless she knows them very well; it doesn't make her any less smart. If you're purposely trying to make a girl uncomfortable on a date, as you seem to be, they're going to pick up on that and shut down. I'm sure many guys would react the same way.
But I do understand where you're coming from when you say that some girls dumb themselves down. I've seen it with a lot of my brothers' girlfriends! LOL!
I guess they do it cause they know the first thing a guy notices is appearance and maybe they assume that they'll be intimidated by a woman who's level of intelligence is higher than theirs and one who is a bit opinionated and actually had logical views.
Maybe its a bit everyone's fault- girls think that guys won't be interested in a girl with brains and so hide their intelligent self and turn themselves into the type of girls you speak of and the guys often send out this vibe that all they're interested in is a pretty little thing, nothing more! So the blames come back to them also! I guess its one of the misunderstandings of our society! LOL!
But I can assure you wholeheartedly that women are definitely not stupid in any respect! often times we are smarter than most guys! LOL!
The same phenomenon occurs when a guy tells a reeeeally bad joke. If the girl is into the guy she will laugh as if it was the best joke she's ever heard. And if she is close enough she will also often try to touch the guy in some minor way while she's laughing. Try it sometime :)
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When: A month ago
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