Am I a bad wife?

I see you are a Christian. Is your husband one as well? This is important to know. Both of you need counseling. There are definite issues here. As a Christian, I understand your desire to save your marriage. However, it takes TWO to make a marriage work. There needs to be complete and open communication and a willingness from both parties. You both have issues that need to be addressed. If you have a home church please seek them out for counseling and or classes that will help both of you get to the bottom of your issues. The marriage can survive and become great if you both want to work at it. I'd suggest these books: The Search For Significance (for anyone, single or married), DNA of Relationships, and Boundaries. My church offers classes using these books and they changed my life. I will pray for you.

Normal wife... bad husband. Simply put, your in a horrible relationship.

Not enough info on your situation but from what you've put down it sounds like you need to consider getting away from this guy. Judging from what he said he can be gauged one of two ways: 1. You caught him on the wrong day because he himself might have been having a bad day OR 2. He's an abusive asshole. If he's not the type you can talk to about his behavior or anything else that is causing you distress then he might not be the one for you. And it doesn't matter he's the kids' father. That doesn't mean he cares about you. Just means he was able to stick wang in you raw-dog style.
Now about those kids; I totally understand about not wanting to hurt them even though they bring those urges to the surface BUT DON'T DO IT. If you're scared discipline will turn into abuse then adjust your tools for discipline. I'm a guy that had to watch a little girl when she was between ages 2 to 7 years old. When she turned five she knew the difference between right and wrong, but she was still a baby. She also knew words didn't hurt anymore. So I had to make an adjustment.
I went from words & timeouts to using a ruler. Just a ruler. A small one foot ruler. It was small, light, not heavy enough to hurt her permanently, quick and easily identifiable; meaning after my second or third time telling her not to do something I could bring out the ruler and she knew it was time to re-think what she was doing wrong. And best of all I only had to use it a couple of times. I know it works because I used it on myself. That thing smarts big time! But the pain doesn't last for more than a few minutes. And using something so small I could never swing (you really don't have to though, a simple flick does the trick). Some other helpful hints if you think you might loose control of yourself is to: take five minutes outside in the air to yourself. Don't pick up anything at all; stick your hands in your pockets and begin counting! Think of the last thing that made you laugh. And you said your raising kidS so if all that fails buy a handheld taser. They will go act a fool outside or in thier rooms if they know mommy's going to light them up. Just kidding!...or am I? >ominously twirls the end of evil looking mustache< lol

Get rid of him. Any man that verbally or physically abuses his wife should have his balls cut off. I am a man an I don't treat my wife that way. Sorry to be so blunt but there are plenty of men out there who would love to be with you and your kids.

Honestly, although I don't know the details of your relationship with your husband, I think that he needs to shape up or ship out. You don't deserve to be treated that way and especially not from the example you gave. In regards to your children, I would say that you are just getting a little stressed and need a break. I think I would at least be annoyed if my kids did the same thing. I really don't think you did anything wrong and if you should get stressed again remember the big picture and just deal with it as best you can. In short, you are a good mother to be concerned about the way you behaved and possibly too good a wife.

I don't think you did anything wrong at all. It sounds like he has no patience for you and probably doesn't really care that much..Which is sad.

I'm not defending his actions but he could have been having a bad day or something and that made him snap. Maybe you two need to work on a new way to communicate?

On a side note if it truly is abusive and there's nothing you can try to fix it, you need to plan a way to get out before it becomes physical.

Stop. You have no right to be putting yourself down. You were talking just the other day about what you do for your man, weren't you? You sound like a woman who goes beyond the level of a great wife and mother and the only reason you're doubting it is because of what your husband tells you. I know two great women in the same situation as you. Their husbands tell them they are doing something wrong and after a while, they start to believe it. All that negativity wears you down after a while, but you shouldn't let it. You KNOW you're a good wife and mother. Don't you forget it.

As for the whole divorce issue, that completely depends on both you and your husband. Relationships are about compromise and it sounds like you're the only one doing any compromising. I know you can't just waltz up to him and say "hey, you treat me badly and you have to change" because things just don't work that way. But you DO need to talk to him. The problems won't go away by themselves. Maybe you two could see a marriage counselor. It sounds awful, but it really can do wonders for a marriage IF both members are willing to try. If he's not, maybe you should consider that divorce . . . but I really don't want to advise on that too much because I don't know the whole situation and it's a very serious matter. But itzzxhypnotik is right. Your kids shouldn't grow up in a house where their mother is verbally abused, so one way or another, that needs to stop.

either way the kids will suffer. if they grow up in a home where their mother is being verbally abused then they will most likely grow up to think that is okay and often will get in the same kind of relationships. I'm not a mother, so I don't know the pressure to have your children grow up in a "normal" household (mom and dad) but all I know if most kids would rather have their parents divorce then have them fighting constantly. it sounds to me like you did nothing wrong. if this happens a lot then I advice you to get out because it will hurt you AND your kids to stay in this type of relatiionship. good luck, and don't be so hard on yourself, you didn't do anything wrong : /