My boyfriend and I just got back together and had just seen in each other for the first time in a while, he didn't seem to want me that night, so I got upset with him, he said he didn't want me because he wasn't ready to completely forgive me for being obsessive and ruining his business so we had this huge argument about it, so then we woke up the next morning, and he wanted me ,somehow the subject of physical attraction came up and he said I was ok but when I got dressed he said I looked sexy and was really looking at me. Today he had picked up because I gave him a referral for his business he said he had to go I had called him on his cell and he had hung up on me, and he kept hanging up on me, so now I am totally confused about one is he physically attracted and two, why he picked up, spoke to me, and then hung up on me. Please advise as I am very upset
I read your question and all the responses to answers (from you) to come up with this conclusion.
This guy is attracted to you physically - simply put, he is interested. If he didn't want you in his bed or in his life, he definately wouldn't keep you around. That's just how guys are- imagine big bertha, there's no way I would let that person in my house let alone near my children, she could be the biggest hearted women in the world, but I just wouldn't do it.
Your responses indicate you are frustrated with the outcome of your responses. You have been seeking what you want to hear and an answer that makes sense- nothing is. The reason why this is happening is not "His fault" read some of your responses: - "Prada no it is not an answer that I want here other than the truth wanacot made a comment so I responded if you don't like reading my questions go to another site bouyah - 3 days ago" -- This response indicates that because you didn't hear what you want, that you ended up snapping because you wanted to hear something else.
QUIT! This is purely emotional, you need to relax and take a breath - what you are doing right now is strangling him, me, and everyone else in the world with acting the way you are. You are being a form of controlling. Without getting the right answer, you get HOSTILE - not a "i'm sorry, this isn't working so ill try another answer, thanks" or not responding... No, instead you are getting verbally violent over this thread.
I think you need space from everyone, your stress levels are through the roof and they won't slow down until you can control your mindset on reality. There are things in this world that happen for reasons we never understand. Here's your example: He said okay and twenty minutes later called me sexy instead - I don't understand it, and very few others will- it's not him that is the problem, nor the situation. But you're making a situation out of it by not just accepting the outcome and working to make it better.
I'm not trying to be rude, but seriously, get away from the computer and relax. Get away from the relationship and breathe.
I feel like I have responded to this before? possibly the same person? The guy seems like he is avoiding the subject of your attractiveness and seems like he has the potential to cheat on you. (He was dropping off our dog at the airport) Does he fly with the animal to the show? or does he drop it off there and then do his own thing regarding "business" -- Just my thoughts, but it feels like he is cheating.
Either way, it is unacceptable that he is saying different things, especially that way - I would rather someone lied and said I looked okay clothed and "sexy" when I was nude. If I were you, I would appreciate myself more, but less infront of him. What I mean by this, is that you start to cut him out of the picture and find someone that can actually appreciate who you are and mean just that.
Having a business with this man doesn't seem like a good thing, I would grab your prized animals and move on, this guy isn't worth the headaches.
You are misreading completely I my question was not whether or not he is cheating; he isn't, I didn't say our dog did I said a dog, it is a client's dog, that someone purchased that he was shipping he never has cheated on me I don't think he has any way of cheating on me now. So if you are going to respond please answer my questions directly it sounds like you have been cheated on so maybe you are insecure about other people's relationships. - 29 days ago
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Well, if you want to be a bitch I can respond like an asshole. However, I have more integrity than that- so work out your own stuff and quit asking advice if you just want to throw it in someones face. Kapeesh?
And to answer your question, yeah I have problems with secure relationships, I've been cheated on with my best friend- by a women that didn't care when I gave her my world. But you wouldn't care now would you? naww... ill talk to someone else about that.
- 29 days ago
Question Asker
Not trying to be a bitch my guy is home and it's Friday night he isn't cheating he wouldn't do that. - 29 days ago
Getting hung up on is never a good sign. Chances are good he hasn't forgiven you, like he said. At this point, I think whether or not he finds you physically attractive is the least of your worries.
This is always hard with getting back together with someone. Most of the time both people want it to work, but old feelings can't help but creep back up.
At any rate, I wouldn't hold out hope for something to work out. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but think about it. You could be with a guy who holds a grudge against you and makes you feel like you aren't pretty, or you could start over with someone new who makes you feel special. It's really up to you.
No offense but I think you are a little young and not enough experience in your life, he does love me for sure no doubt about that he does make feel special a lot. - A month ago
Answerer
Perhaps I lack experience. But I am experienced enough to know that it takes more than love to make a relationship work. I have no doubt that he loves you. It does seem like he is still upset with you, though. And it may take a long time for old wounds to heal. In the meantime, you may have to put up with a lot more of this kind of behavior. I'm just giving a male perspective. - A month ago
Question Asker
I suppose so but I didn't give you enough information to let you know that he loves me other than saying it did I? Just curious nonetheless doesn't directly answer my questions - A month ago
Your description makes it sound like he's completely using you?
What are these pictures he took of you? Just when you where out?
I suppose he could be easily be still mad at you or fed up of you asking if you look ok? if you ask too often guys can become Blazze about the answer to that question.
I can't judge from what you say about wether he's physically attracted to you.
...Because if you give a little more information he might be able to respond. Why be rude? - A month ago
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Thanks SmarmyMarsh :).
Yes, I was trying to gather the complete picture. I wondered why you had mentioned the photos if they where irrelevent. I was also just mentioning cases I'd come across with other people saying "you look ok". Obviously I don't knonly you or the circumstances I am just throwing out ideas based on information provided. If I got it wrong it wasn't intended as a slight.
I have made note you did not appriciate my ideas or suggestions. So I won't respond next time. - A month ago
Don't ask him that question any more. If he shows you that he doesn't want you then I wouldn't get back together with him. It might not be you, he might be having difficulties that he's too embarassed to talk about, but either way you won't be happy. If he really does want you but is having other problems then it will be up to him to tell you that if he wants you to stay. Don't make him say things that he doesn't believe. Good luck!
You need to take a step back here and work on what even you admit is obsessive behavior or you're going to lose your boyfriend again. I'm not there so I can't judge the situation completely, but I think your boyfriend is getting tired of you always questioning him and nagging him. He just sounds tired of arguing with you and like he is getting frustrated. Back off and give him some space.
Why did he say you were "okay" then call you "sexy"? Simple, he said "okay" as his first reaction then seeing how much you were hurt/upset by it upgraded your status to "sexy". It may not be a case of him not thinking you're sexy, but guys have a tendency to say things like "you look fine" and the girl taking it the wrong way, meaning they think average or boring when in fact that's not the case.
Also, stop asking the same question over and over.
Wanacot ok I get your point but it was like 20 minutes later after I had goteen dressed that he said I looked sexy are you saying that he probably doesn't think I am sexy and just said that to make me feel better? - A month ago
Asking the same question over and over in this site is not going to get you to the answer you want to hear. Its not him - its you - Keep obsessing and you will loose him. Stay confident, no man likes a woman with low self esteem whom he constantly has to compliment so she can feel good.
- A month ago
Question Asker
Prada no it is not an answer that I want here other than the truth wanacot made a comment so I responded if you don't like reading my questions go to another site bouyah - A month ago
Answerer
Of course he cannot instantly turn around and say that you are sexy as you would not believe him. Therefore, he let some time elapse to make the comment so as to make you think he had the thought independently. Like I said, chances are he probably finds you attractive and just answered "okay" without thinking about it but meant it in a good way. - A month ago
Sounds like there are some trust issues that need to heal first before he will be able to open up again. Give him time and work to build the relationship back first.
How do you know that he is physically attracted to me? I mean he just said I was "ok" in one breath and then said I looked sexy in another - A month ago
He is physically attracted to you. That's about all.
The reasons you mentioned for the original break-up are pretty important to a guy. You essentially emasculated him. I can't see any reason he'd even want to get back together with you.
Well, it could have a number of meanings. He might just be trying to make you feel bad for whatever it was you did to upset him in the first place, but obviously if he got back together with you then he must at least find you attractive enough for his standards. I wouldn't worry too hard if he finds you attractive or not, he's your boyfriend and if he's not calling you beautiful every time you ask him, he's not doing a good job.
Most people are more attractive with clothes/lingerie on than completely naked.
I personally find a girl sexier when she's got some nice underwear or a hot outfit on than when she's completely naked. Doesn't matter if she's got a "perfect" body. What you find attractive isn't always what you see but what it triggers in your imagination.
No I was wearing lingerie when he said I was "ok" but he told me I was sexy, I was wearing a short dress, I made a big deal out of what he said, are you saying it's not a big deal? How am I supposed to know if he finds me physically attractive? He thinks I am very skinny, I am but not anorexic. Please advise because I got so furious and upset with him over this. - A month ago
Answerer
Well, it's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. I'm sure you have qualities more than just your looks just like he does, so don't worry about it. - A month ago
I understand but what about him saying I was "ok" physically and then saying I looked sexy?? - A month ago
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Men are very uncomplicated. It probably means, you look ok to sexy, depending on his mood. - A month ago
Question Asker
So why be with a guy who just thinks you are ok? - A month ago
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That's for you to answer. - A month ago
Question Asker
That doesn't reall answer my question on the one hand he says I am ok on the other hand he says I am sexy how am I supposed to know I am not a guy hence I am asking one if I wanted advice from myself I wouldn't be on this board would I now - A month ago
Answerer
I did answer you. I said you probably look hot to him when he is in the mood, and ok the rest of the time. Don't get snippy just because you get an answer you don't want to hear - A month ago
Question Asker
Uh no you it had nothing to do with the answer I wanted to hear I didn't think you were really answering my question - A month ago
If he said you look OK, then to him you simply look OK. It's a hard truth to swallow, but it's still the truth. Now maybe he's just not very eloquent. Maybe you're a smoking hottie and he can't justify the ego boost. But chances are he's just not all that physically attracted to you. Supposing that's the truth, you're not doing yourself any good crying about it. And you'll definitely drive him away by obsessing on it (i.e. asking him specifically what he likes and dislikes, what girls he thinks are hot, what clothes work on you, etc).
And honestly, is he a hard bodied chunk of man cake? It's okay for a woman to love a man and still realize he's not as good looking as he could be.
Well Yeah but why be with someone you aren't physically attracted to, and then why tell me I looked sexy in another breath also he had taken pictures of me the night before, is he a hard body sometimes but not the last time I saw him, I am thin, I have long bloned hair and blue eyes - A month ago
Answerer
We would be with someone who we aren't very attracted to for the same reasons you would: because you're attracted to the rest of her more. Still, if my wife came up to me and told me that she wasn't attracted to me anymore, you'd better believe I'd be hitting the gym. I love her and I want her to be crazy hot for me. And I know that I can make it happen with some effort.
I'm afraid I can't answer your question with specifics on why he said one thing and then the other. Just try not to obsess. - A month ago
Its hard to say. Though your reaction to the sitation could have been a real turn-off (a girl worrying about how we see her is rarely sexy after the aged of 28 [its "cute" for a young girl, its "sad" in a woman]).
When we are young we are sexy because of youth, when we get older we need to be sexy as a person and how we hold outselves. If your not confident in your looks, your partner won't be either.
Treat yourself to some pampering, buy something you know your partner would find erotic and surprise him with it. Also, sometimes its the "denial" which leads to us being more sexy. Less is often more (e.g. teasing, slow build up, unexpectedness).
Most of all, find your confidence.. sometimes even flerting with other men in front of your boyfriend can be sexy. The idea that other men want you will increase his sense of want (don't of course give the men the wrong impression lol. Just little touches and let them show you then find you attractive.. your partner will want to show you he does more then).
Well I am 31 and I actually do look young, but I did buy things to look sexy this is my whole point, and one hand, he didn't want me bu in the morning he did, and then he said I looked sexy when I got dressed but I got mad at him for saying I was just "ok" - A month ago
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Hes just being honest by the sounds. Try not to take things too personally too often (not that I'm saying you do, but unless he's always saying you just "ok" let it ride). - A month ago
(After you got upset about not being intimate) I would've felt like you didn't care about what I wanted, maybe I had work on my mind and I wasn't in the right mood- either way it wouldn't be a deal breaker
(Being mad *myself*) I really wouldn't have been "mad", more-so confused. I probably would've told you that by getting upset you made things feel awkward and asked if you wanted my opinion on how to handle the situation.
Nude/Dressed The guy is very confusing. Either way, as your boyfriend he should make you feel more beautiful which will give him less headaches. I am impressed he didn't say something like "babe, your fine! quit worrying" but it bothers me that he gave two different responses. Why should you be "sexy" with clothes, and without you are "okay"
In your shoes, I would move on- he doesn't fulfill your needs physically or mentally. He calls you hot when you are covered up but can't embrace your body nude. It feels like the relationship is not compatible and possibly destructive on both of you. My advice is either talk with him about what he is doing (giving him a chance to correct it) or move on.
Well in the morning he seemed to want me, so that is why I am confused though - A month ago
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Don't worry, I'm confused also! Rather than making excuses for his actions or finding out why. I really do think you will be better off taking a break from him and other men- to find out what you really want and to search a career etc.
You might be just "ok" in his eyes because he is turned off by the "obsessive" tendencies you had in the past. You seem to be very in to him but he seems to be pulling away from you. I suggest you fall back a little and give this man a bit more space breathe. He might have gotten back together with you but he is not completely over things that has happened between you two. He seems as if he needs sometime to gather his emotions.
Did you call him when he were working? If you called after work, there are some signs telling you something. I believe if you're honestly to yourself, you would had some answers already.
I had the similar issue with my ex before we broke up. Even he still answered my calls. It made no improvement to our relationship. Especially, we both couldn't forget the huge argument we had. And I finally realized that he wanted me back only because he hadn't found another girl yet. And at that moment, I was matching to the standard of what he wanted his girlfriend to be.
If you still really in love with him, try backing off a little bit. If he is able to date you without any physical interaction. Than it's a sign shows he is still interesting to you. Otherwise, ... I believe you know what I'm going to say.
Well that's it he wasn't in the mood, that is my point, and then the whole hanging up thing you sound a little too young for this advice sorry he isn't cheating if that's what you are getting at yes he was working when I called he was driving he has his own business - A month ago
Answerer
Sorry that I can't help you. I'm still learning. Wish you can find the the helpful answer soon! - A month ago
N/A
When: A month ago
that doesn't mean he's not physically attracted to you. he was likely still mad and that's why he commented that way
That's true but now he is mad again he picked up today said he had to go I had given him her a referral for his business and then today he picked up the cell and kept hanging up on me - A month ago
Im not a guy so I can't say for sure but maybe he was trying to "punish you" you know? Making you feel like your in the dog house or something,sounds like he was pretty mad at you but its also immature. Of corse he is physically attracted to you but he doesn't seem to hold you in high esteem or be very respectful.
He's just playing mind games with you. From what I've read, you sound pretty vulnerable and easily manipulated. You get upset about something and he turns the tables and blames you. He's keeping you emotionally off balanced by giving you mixed signals - you're just "ok" and then you're sexy. While he's busy spinning you in mental circles, you're going to be so busy trying to keep him happy - you aren't going to be able to figure out how he needs to please YOU. Why aren't you beautiful to him because he loves you? If I were you, I would steer clear of him. Good luck.
OMG Don't Worry What The Heck He Thinks About You, As Long As You That Your BEAUTIFUL No Matter What Others Think. And I'm Also Pretty Sure Your Freakin' Gorgeous! If He said That You looked OK Well I Think You Should Look For A Guy That Thinks Your BEAUTIFUL not "OK"...that's my opinion
Well you haven't seen me so how you know I was pretty yeah but then he said I was sexy in the morning so how am I supposed to know what I think - A month ago
relax ... stop over analyzing it[i know its hard].. you are making too much of it.. he will be turned off even more if you obsess over it. you guys just got back together, although you do not post the reason for your breakup maybe its something severe enough or serious enough for him that he needs time to re-adjust.
You'll be fine, you just have to abstain from asking obsessing in front of him. Be cool lady.. just relax, if he came back to you is because he cares..
Well caring is one thing but being physically attracted is another I don't want to feel like he isn't physically attracted to me - A month ago
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You only feel like he isn't physically attracted to you because you want to, you are creating this insecurity.. but please note that he has never ever expressed this to you. he was sincere with you about still being upset with you. By Obsessing over this minor episode you are running the risk of loosing him again, no man likes an insecure woman.
Best of Luck to you. - A month ago
Question Asker
No he did say it he said I was just "ok" so why be with a man who thinks one is just "ok" - A month ago
Personally, I don't care what my partner says I look like, just so long as she's showing me she loves me.
It seems that the real issue is you not feeling appriciated by your partner. Tell him that. See what changes. - A month ago
Question Asker
I do feel appreciated but howdo I kow if he is physically attracted to me, I am not guy and to me he is confusing one minute he says I am "ok, the next minute he says I am sexy. - A month ago
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