How to handle a cheater...

This is not a healthy situation. Usually, I would be careful about telling someone to break up, but in this case I have no hesitation.

First, you are pretty sure that she is cheating. Even assuming she had not had sex with this guy, the fact that she is spending so much of her time with him and that he is an ex mean that she seems to have a close connection with him. I am usually all for friendships between women and men, but I would feel very uncomfortable about this situation if I were you.

But even if it turned out that she had never had sex with this guy and had never even talked to him, I would suggest that you break up. Things have really jumped the shark if you are spying on her. You may feel upset right now, but whatever she has done in your relationship, that is crossing a line and it is a major violation of her. You should hope that you haven't broken any laws--that is how serious this is. It is ridiculous that you are talking about having "data" on her and that you're seriously considering accessing her texts. You clearly can't trust her... When you first realized that you didn't trust her, that is when the relationship should have ended. There should have been zero data collection and spying.

Forget about the lease. Look for someone else to take the apartment or sleep on someone's sofa while you finish the lease. My advice is to end this and find a woman who you feel secure with, who you will treat with respect and dignity (i.e., not monitor her phone and email).

its going to be really hard but you're beetter than that

get rid of her
make her realize how much she misses you and loves you
and how much she disrespected you
(if she omces crawling back in a week or so, she still hasn't learned her lesson)
make it hard for her
take yourself out of her life for a bit
and shell realize what she did
and if she truly wants to be with you she'lll continue to pursue you
and won't stop .
it may take a month or so but you have to remember PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE. BUT THEY DO GROW UP
so give her time to grow up and you may be able to have a healthy amazing relationship with her or might find someone else along the way . I was in the same situation and decided to move on when he came back.
in the time you leave her alone for a bit ull regain respect for yourself and realzie exactly what you deserve. :)

am sorry to say this! BUT YOU ARE FUCKING STUUPID FOR STAYING WITH THIS CHEATING BITCH! she has no f***ing right to vesit her ex and talk to him while she's going out with you! you deffffnnnetttlllyyy shoudl dump her ass right now.

Break up with her sorry ass! My apologizes man, but she doesn't respect you as a person, if she respected you she wouldn't be manipulating you by implying that your "the problem". You are not the problem, and you are not a baby. You don't deserve to be treated this way, point blank, she's cheating on you, and she doesn't care. She's selfish, she's being very selfish because she is not taking into account about how her behavior is affecting you; she's thinking about herself, that's it. And I'm not going to sugar coat this for you, she isn't planning on changing, she won't, she'll never. And that ex-boyfriend of hers is no better; it sounds like to me their using each other. Lets just pretend here that they get back together, do you think it will last? Hell no, she's come crawling back to you my friend (they always come back).

Keep this in mind; behind every action there is a modivation; what is she getting out of cheating on you, what purpose is it serving for her self-esteem, because we know its not helping yours. Human behavior is very simple sometimes; if she's done it once, the probablity of her doing it again is very high, if she does it again, the act is inevitable.

The way she is acting totally sounds like cheating to me! When you have feelings for someone besides your significant other you start to do a lot of fault finding and that sounds like what she is doing. Honestly, it sounds to me like either she is not feeling excited enough by your relationship or if you just moved in together maybe she was not ready for the kind of commitment she has made. The best thing you can do is give her her space. Take your name off the lease if you can and move out. If you love her and you want to wait for her to quit being stupid, then just give her time and space to realize that there is a reason that this guy is her EX.

You are acting like any guy would do. However, you have the technology to actually find things out. I would sit down and talk to her if you really love her. If she doesn't have many friends then maybe she is just happy to get some attention from someone other than you. You should take her out to places where she can meet new people. Where you two can meet new people TOGETHER and have friendships with these people together. I would ask her to not go on this trip because it makes you feel incredibly uncomfortable. If she does not comply then you should consider breaking up with her. I understand the whole lease situation but this constant investigating is taking up your life. You need to confront her and it needs to be soon. Her behavior is not appropriate. Maybe if you scare her and she thinks that she will actually lose you then she will get her act together. If not, consider a break up.

Get rid of her - you will NEVER trust her again, you are too young to be treated like that! there are plenty of great girls out there who would admire you and adore you and NEVER cheat on you!

Now go find one! lol
do whatever you can to fill you apartment, find a roomate! It would be good for you to have someone else around so you don't get lonely-

Now, go and be a stud!

If you know she cheated confront her and dump her. Don't waste your money trying to find out what you already know.

I wouldn't waste your time or money on a P.I, I would say all the signs are pointing to cheating. Love is a serious feeling. I am a strong believer that someone who truly loves you, won't cheat on you. I would think they have the common sense to understand that love loveth at all times. If she loved you she would desire only you don't you think? She would care how this might effect or hurt you.

It is a sticky situation with you and her living together, however I would do my best to make it through until next September as roommates. There's not much else you can do. Usually once a cheater always a cheater. My brother Eric cheats on every one of his girlfriends. I love him dearly and he's one of my best friends, but once he cheats and gets away with it or is quickly forgiven, he knows he can do it again and does.

a P.I? try talking to her. if she won't talk about it, take a break from her.

I really hate the fact that you are going through this because of your gf. I just wish that things will resolve soon and you do not have to feel so paranoid.

i hate spying too, and I hate when a girl I am dating spies on me. That said, I once had a very strong feeling that a girl I had dated for a year was hiding something from me. Any other time I had the feeling I pushed until she caved to admitting lying, even though I had no evidence ever. This time she was not budging but I could read her eyes. I looked up some messages in her phone and even though they only very vaguely suggested something, I questioned the crap out of her until she admitted to working at a stripclub giving lapdances. She was absolutely not the type and I otherwise never would have expected it of her (last person who would ever be a stripper or do anything skanky). Her friend is apparenly a stripper and convinced her into it to make some quick cash. As much as I hate spying, you never know what crazy sh!t you will uncover. I'm torn because if this girl could do this kind of crazy thing behind my back then god knows what anyone you are dating could be doing. You never expect this sh!t and you only ever find out from digging. You basically have to just accept that you never know what they are doing or else you will go insane. It often makes me feel like open relationships might be the best thing for people in the end. If people have nothing to hide they tend not to hide anything and then you can trust them.

They always say "Do what your heart tells you to"
but I say the heart is stupid, I wouldn't listen to him,
now the brain he's smart and eduacted. lol

They always say "Do what you're heart tells you to" b
ut I say the heart is stupid, I wouldn't listen to him,
now the brain he's smart, he's eduacted. lol

With the lease, there might be a fee that you can pay to buy out of the lease. However, there might not be and if there is it won't be cheap. My most recent girlfriend cheated on me (she was under the impression that we had an "open relationship" even though we were elusively dating, go figure) so I feel your pain. It sounds as though she is attempting to push you away without actually saying it outright. Why did she visit him in the first place? Also, was she visiting a group of people or only him? In either case, she shouldn't have done that. If you are also friends with the guy, and you went along it would be a different story. What you need to do is figure out the lease thing first, if you can buy out of it or if you could get another potential roommate lined up. Then, confront her directly about it. If she isn't cheating, she will be willing to talk about everything that occurred on the trip. I wouldn't mention the keylogger though because she will probably freak out. If she isn't willing to talk about the trip or what she has been talking to the guy about or if she has a million excuses, kick her to the curb.

How to handle a cheater = dump her

Listen to your brain.

Love is not enough to sustain a relationship. I truly wish it was. But sometimes we fall in love with people who are bad for us. And it hurts like hell to walk away from them. I've been there (not far from what you describe, actually).

My advice may not be the easiest, but it's the best for you in the long-term.

Good luck.