I met this guy a year ago through mutual friends. We only really spoke when our friends were hanging out together. Recently we've been talking a lot more. Just the two of us. We flirt and the amount increases each time. He had flirted with me before, but I made it clear that we were just friends. I've been having a difficult time lately with my current relationship, so I thought he was just cheering me up. But sometimes I'm not so sure. He has these lingering looks that make me think twice about his intentions. Is he just being nice or does he have something more in mind?
He most likely has something more in mind. Guys don't think like girls in the sense that there's "two ladders". What I mean by that is that girls get it wrapped up in their minds by the first time they meet a dude whether or not he's "boyfriend" material or "just a friend". Guys only have one ladder in the sense that any girl can be a friend or a girlfriend. It's just guys trying to jump from ladder to ladder is a big no-no in a girls mind. Anyways, I guess guys give girls advice, they feel like they're making an impact in their worlds. He probably thinks that by helping you, he's making more of an impact than he really is. If you really want this to stay platonic, I suggest talking to him less and start confiding in your girlfriends for advice (or cheering up, whatevah) on your current relationship.
Thing is it's a lot more complicated than I explained. I've forced myself to think of him as "just a friend" because he is taken and I don't want to get between friends. Basically he's got a big "do not touch" stamped across his forehead. But if things were different he'd definitely fall in the "boyfriend" material space. What I don't understand is that he keeps it up despite knowing these factors. Which is why I have a hard time telling if he's being nice or more. - 9 months ago
Answerer
If he's already taken, then I wouldn't worry too much. Perhaps he's pretty deep into his girl and it doesn't matter who he's talking to. If he's this nice, maybe it's legit and that's all it is. Not every guy has some sort of hidden agenda. Maybe he believes in good karma. I wouldn't think about it too much given the new information. But once he's free or vice versa, you need to decide where the line is drawn. If he can be a boy toy one day, cool. If he can't, leave him be. I hope this helps. - 9 months ago
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When: 9 months ago
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