I've been doing some thinking lately. It turns out that social pressures (both negative and positive) seem to be engineered in such a way as to delay or even hinder financial growth.
Just think about it, there's a negative social stigma of "still living with your parents". When does it start to kick in? By the age where you're either still in college or just out of college and working. 18-24. During this 6 year time-frame, many people move out of home even though they really don't need to. They "feel" or "think" it's because they want to feel more independent, or they won't feel bad about still living at home. But by doing so, they trade financial growth for emotional comfort. 6 years of rent and utilities at let's say $1,000 per month, at an annual 3% rate of inflation (very modest) is roughly $78,000 at the end of that 6 year period. And that only represents the value of the funds SAVED. If that money was invested during those 6 years, at an average annual rate of 5%, would be roughly $88,000 at the end of the 6 year period.
But let's not stop there. There are other social pressures that apply to us and we choose to voluntarily wave our immunity to. The two very costly ones are:
- Engagement rings - Weddings
Think about it.
The average engagement ring runs anywhere from $8,500 (1ct) to $36,000 (2ct). The average wedding runs anywhere from $80,000 to $140,000.
What's troubling is how EARLY in life these expenses are incurred; usually around late 20's to early 30's.
The thing about financial growth, is that it happens exponentially. The earlier you save and invest, the more your money will multiply (through the "compounding" effect of the rate of return and reinvestment of that return). More importantly, the MORE you invest, the more money you'll have subjected to that rate of return.
Things such as (cars, renting, engagement rings, weddings, and even homes) can be "holes" in one's pocket and have exponentially damaging effects on their financial future.
For example: If you avoided the cost of having a car, the price of buying that car, the cost of renting, the cost of an engagement ring and wedding; by the time you're 30 years old, you would have avoided a total of $196,500 to $304,000! That's PURE EQUITY!
Instead of being expensed, it can be invested instead during that time, and by the time you're 30, it could be $265,275 to $410,400 of equity instead.
Which begs the question.
Since you DO have the choice of how to live your life and where to spend your money; when you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, which is more important to you?
Spending your money early on the ring and wedding to have lasting memories for a lifetime!
or;
Investing that money to be financially secure and grow as a couple so you can provide a better lifestyle for both yourselves and your family later on?
Would you rather have enjoyment & pleasure, or financial security & stability?
Reason:
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What is this?
I am either a man or woman, and the ring and wedding are more important to me. That is where I would choose to use my/our money. Even if it means giving up financial growth, security and stability.
I am a man or woman, and financial growth, security and stability are more important to me. I would choose to save and invest my/our money, even if it means foregoing a ring or wedding.
I had so much trouble getting through all that because it totally shattered, yet cemented what I believe is important. I picked B, just because my parents have raised me to be a saver. I compulsively save change, I know how to find deals on anything, and I know how to manage and save my money. The problem is that I have expensive taste. As much as I'm low matinence and I would want a nice church wedding or something that isn't extremely costly, I find myself coveting those really expensive on tv shows like Say Yes to the Dress. I snicker at the brides who blow 10,000 dollars over their budget for a dream dress but at the same time I see the dresses at Kleinfeld and I want one.
The one thing that I prided myself on is the article is that I know what I want and I save money for it. Half of my problem with the way people talk about relationships and finances today is that people are made to wait to even fathom them. I know one day I'm going to get married. I know it will probably be a few years after college. I know I have a lot of expenses coming up in the next 10 years, so I started saving in high school. I don't know why people are so afraid of saving even if they're young. If I decide that I was enjoyment and pleasure I'm going to give myself the financial security to get it until I can do that together with my significant other. All the wedding dresses I've ever pictured myself wearing cost over 3500 dollars, but I want to save for my future. It's not just a choice of enjoyment over security, it's a choice of when and how you will address those issues.
wow, this is such a "male" article.. (no offense) haha first off.. í'm pretty sure, that the average guy that still lives at home from 24 - early 30s like you say, will NOT have any of these problems... do yo know why? easy.. BECAUSE THEY WILL HAVE NO GIRLFRIEND TO PROPOSE TO!
people move out of their parents homes.. to show that they are independent and to prove to the world that they can make it on their own... it's like "the bird leaving the nest" or w.e. ok, so they'll suffer and starve a little along the way.. but everyone goes through that! that's how you develop tough skin! If you live at home until you get married... then when things start going south, you head for your mommy's door...
no. that is not the way to go, unless of course you have serious economic problems.. then.. it's ok. I guess.
And please.. do you really believe that if a kid is living at home, they're actually going to "save" their money? defiantly not. They're going to think "hey, daddy is paying the bills. LETS GO CLUBBING WOOO".
listening I'm a person that loves to have her pie and eat it too... soo... I would just find a person, that was smart enough to provide me with a ring... but more importantly.. to provide me with companionship! because at the end of the day... that ring and facny wedding aren't going to put fod on the table! so in a way it's a bit of both options.. am I asking for too much? nah, I don't think so (= hehehe
wow, this is such a "male" article.. (no offense) haha first off.. í'm pretty sure, that the average guy that still lives at home from 24 - early 30s like you say, will NOT have any of these problems... do yo know why? easy.. BECAUSE THEY WILL HAVE NO GIRLFRIEND TO PROPOSE TO!
people move out of their parents homes.. to show that they are independent and to prove to the world that they can make it on their own... it's like "the bird leaving the nest" or w.e. ok, so they'll suffer and starve a little along the way.. but everyone goes through that! that's how you develop tough skin! If you live at home until you get married... then when things start going south, you head for your mommy's door...
no. that is not the way to go, unless of course you have serious economic problems.. then.. it's ok. I guess.
And please.. do you really believe that if a kid is living at home, they're actually going to "save" their money? defiantly not. They're going to think "hey, daddy is paying the bills. LETS GO CLUBBING WOOO".
listen I'm a person that loves to have her pie and eat it too... soo... I would just find a person, that was smart enough to provide me with a ring... but more importantly.. to provide me with companionship! because at the end of the day... that ring and facny wedding aren't going to put food on the table! so in a way it's a bit of both options.. am I asking for too much? nope, I don't think so (= hehehe
So basically I want the guy that will spend that money on me when the time is right...
the reason some people are more financially secure and stable than others has to do partially with their ability to secure resources (income)
the other reason has to do partially with their ability to control the release of those resources (spending)
I know you might not want to talk about the conflict of the emotional and logical areas of the brain, but you can't just ignore them and proceed with the discussion.
take any psychology study of high school kids. given similar budgets, some kinds spend their money on shoes, electronics, phones, entertainment, and so on and so forth. as soon as those same kids start working and earning their money, their spending behavior rarely adjusts. children retain the spending behaviors they've learned early in life, and have difficulty adjusting.
it comes down to power. money is power. you can use that power in different ways. you can use it to enjoy things, aquire things, and feel pleasure. or you can use it to try and gain more power. the people whose logical mind is dominant prefer to forgo enjoing things, aquiring things and feeling pleasure, and instead place more value on gaining more money and power. the people whose emotional mind is dominant prefer to enjoy things, acquire things and feel pleasure, even if it means forgoing the opportunity to gain more power.
this transfer of power is what creates order in our society. the people with emotionally dominant minds want to enjoy and feel pleasure, value power less, value pleasure more, and so are more willing to give up or surrender their power in exchange for pleasure. the people with logically dominant minds want to gain power, value money and power more, and value pleasure less, and so are more willing to give up pleasure in exchange for power. this is why pleasure-seekers resemble the working-slaves of power-seekers who control financial power (capital)
that's the difference in male behavior and financial success. young men who move out of their parents' home and buy a car earlier in life, earn less and accumulate less wealth in their lifetime. men who are willing to spend more money on a luxury car are also more willing to spend more money on clothes, vacations, entertainment, and dating. that's because all those men share the same personality trait; they're all pleasure-seekers.
men who value those things less, and value financial security and stability more, are obviously less motivated to sacrifice the later in persuit of the former. they're more likely to spend less, spend more time deciding and deliberating before finally buying a car, renting an apartment, buying a home, or even getting into a relationship. that's because all those men share the same personality trait; they're all power-seekers; looking for financial security & stability.
so your survey really just reveals who the pleasure-seekers vs. power-seekers are.
Wow hun it sounds like you have quite an dilema on your hands. The question here is not what do we want but what do you? I'm guessing you have meet this girl ok ok I know you have but back on subject now. Do you think she would perfer a ring and an amazing wedding or having you to hold every night? Personally I would want Shinny but hey I'm a girl whose had her "Dream" wedding planned out for years. Finacial security is also exsecially I have never really had any. But you have to do what is best for you and her. I know you don't care about your "Plan" anymore but don't throw everything away just to make her happy. Sure with most guys making their girl happy makes them happy too, but as a girl I want my boyfriend to not give up something he really wants for me like a family. Good luck with your decsison I know you will make the right choice for yourself and her. :) :P :D XD
I don't let statistics define my decisions in life.. Even if I know who I might be spending the rest of my life with, I always choose financial stability and future financial security over "pleasurable memories".. It's the age old rule.. and it rings true every single time.. Work hard now and enjoy later.. OR Enjoy now and work hard later..
If I were to get into relationship or get married and spend my money now, then I'd still have to work hard for my (and now my girlfriend's or my family's) financial stability and security.. Marriage and love pose more distractions slowing me down from reaching that stability.. It sounds harsh or heartless but I'm not saying I won't let love into my life.. If love happens, then that's great.. but I'm not gonna spend a great majority of my time chasing it.. that's how people get side-tracked from their dreams.. That's when resposibilty (not just for yourself) ties them down instead of motivating them to reach their true goals instead of being forced to give in to plans B or C.
The average maximum price for both is $4,000. It would be silly to assume that the average person getting married could have enough money to shell out $80,000 on a ring.
For the other topic. The question is, "Why don't I just stay at home and leech off my parents until I can buy my own house?"
I moved out because I wanted to be independent and live my own life. I currently rent a place full of things I own. I can bring girls back here. I do my own washing and cooking. I have learnt how to keep the place clean, and I have learnt how to save money.
You could try to argue that you have these freedoms too, but you still live in someone else's house, and you don't have expenses, so how could you argue that you know how to save money?
And then one day you have to leave the parent's house, what will you do? It's a bold world out there, and you'll be missing some fundamental social skills like the ability to live with people other than your parents which you'll have to learn.
This rant is nothing but pure theory, you have obviously never experienced anything to do with real life, having others to do it for you.
Take the car example for instance, you say it's a liability. However have a car. It gets me to work. The money I make from work outweighs the amount the car costs to drive. If I caught public transport I would have to leave the house earlier to get to work on time. Sleep makes me work more effectively. More effective work = more chance of getting promoted. More sleep also equals happy Alan.
And even though you say all this, someone is paying for YOU. Your parents. You should give them a lecture and show them the error of their ways. Another good way to save money is to make sure your children leave after they finish school. Think of the money they could save!
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When: 14 days ago
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