When I started dating my boyfriend, I told him that I didn't smoke and would never date anyone who did. I told him that, if he wanted to continue to smoke, he could find another girl. So he quit.
Or he SAID he quit. He lied to me (effectively) for over a year about not smoking, when he was. Finally, the truth came out and we have resolved that issue.
Now I can't trust him. He lied so well about smoking, what else could he lie about? I have no reason to think he's lying about anything, except for the fact that he lied about smoking. I've told him this, and he apologizes for lying and says he just didn't want to lose me then tells me I'm being silly.
What should I do? How do I rebuild trust with my man?
I completely agree with burninout-forever. That is one of the meanest things you can do. Do you understand the pressure that is when you body has a need for cigarettes?
First off, I'm not trying to be macho, but any person with a habit can relate. Smoking is his choice, not yours. Do not make the guy choose you or the ciggarette. It's not your place to say so. All you should've asked to avoid the whole mess is ask him not to smoke around you or before he's going to be w/ you. Making him quit smoking is very unfair to him. As for the kind of guy he is....I can't blame him for lying. I'm sure you have bad habits he doesn't like but did he make you quit them for him? It seems to me your trust factor between one another is as strong as ever. Lying about smoking isn't ditching you or cheating. Get over it.
I now what you mean, I don't like smokers that much either, but if you love him, you shouldn't hold that against him. You can't change people and smoking is hard to quit. Think of it this way, he lied because he loves you and didn't want to lose you..I wouldn't give up on him..
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: More than a year ago
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