THIS IS A LIL LONG BUT PLEASE HELP I NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO! THANKS
So I was responding to an answer someone had left on a previous question I had asked, and my boyfriend had looked at the screen asking why I am talking to guys about our relationship, our sex life, etc. I told him about the site and what I know about it so far. He got extremely mad, I don't know maybe jealous, upset. But why? I told him it is good to get advice from others who experienced situations like ours and the people who respond are just their advice and opinions and could help me understand you better, (cause I try and talk to him but he usually doesn't want to talk).
Anyways, he said he was going to join this site and I said it would be a good idea, but then he went and said, so I can get answers from girls. And ask questions like if I should still be with you (meaning me. Duh!) if you write about our relationship over the internet for others to know about.
I didn't mean for this to hurt our relationship in any shape,way or form. I just wanted to understand more about little things that I would like to know about him.
I want to hear from others why he may be acting like this. I wouldn't mind him to get advice about our relationship and hear from others what they think, but he would act upon what people would say. For example: If he asked a question stating "Should I still stay with my girl for talking to other guys on the phone, internet, etc, He would act upon the advice or opinions people would leave. And never in the world would I jeopardize our relationship! I love him with every little bit of me.
Can anyone answer this question with a reasonable answer to his behavior about me on this site.? Is he insecure? I'm wondering and actually kinda now scared he would leave me if he signed up and got a bad answer back about me.
-And note he does leave out details to make me look like a bad person, even to his family & friends.
What should I do and how should I act? I have no idea. Not a clue as to what to do or why he would be like this. Anyones answer, opinion would be so helpful right now. HE IS MY EVERYTHING, I LOST MY WHOLE FAMILY AND HE IS ALL I HAVE. I'm scared of what to do. Should I delete my account so this site doesn't effect our relationship? (Just like I had to do with my mysace account)
-ANYONES ANSWER WOULD BE MORE THAN APPRECIATED RIGHT NOW. PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY HE WOULD BE ACTING LIKE THIS AND WHY HE IS DOING THIS?
-I'M NOT ON THIS SITE TO GET ANOTHER MAN, TO FIND LOVE. I HAVE LOVE WITH HIM, JUST NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT WHAT TO DO SO IT WORKS OUT.
THANK-YOU ALL SO MUCH. I APPRECIATE IT GREATLY. -ALISHA <3 ANDY!
With so many dating sites, his first impression may have been "Guys will be hitting on you and trying to hook up". I think you did a good thing by telling him that he should join and see for himself.
Getting jealous does not always mean he/she is insecure. Without going to paranoia and extremes, if your boyfriend isn't jealous then there is a problem with the relationship and he doesn't sound like he is being extreme. Thus I don't think it's about insecurity. On another note guys have the "protection" urge for the people we love, especially girlfriend/fiance/wife, that is so often confused with jealousy by girls.
I don't think he is going to leave you or anything, the only reason he would leave you just because you are on GirlsAskGuys, would be because he is insecure but as I said, that's not the case in my opinion.
To him, it should be evidence that you joined here for him, to learn more about him, to understand him and get advice. That alone should show him that you care about him. Like you said, you are not here to find someone. GirlsAskGuys is not match.com and he will realize that soon.
Not to mention, your profile picture has his picture with you. That's a damn good sign that not only you care about him but also proud of him ;) - 7 months ago
Question Asker
I thank you for your answer. I understood it very well. And I truly love him and I hope he does join, because sometimes in relationships it's hard to bring up a certain topic and without getting certain things out, can sometimes lead to not such good situations. I don't want to cause a huge fight over this site, but I think it does help. But like I said I'm not taking people opinions or advice and going along with it. I'm here to see what people think about the certain topic or situation. Thank you - 7 months ago
Until he becomes more comfortable with what you are doing online, log off.
As much as this website is designed to allow people to give and receive help, it seems to be really built on strengthening relationships. If you two break up over this website, then it inherently has failed.
Don't worry about your Xper taking a hit or anything like that, just simply don't log on until you think he would be OK with it (And you've mentioned it).
Yeah had to log off or it would of got worse. I understand he is still uncomfortable and doesn't know much about the site and I would love for him to join to understand it more. Getting advice about certain things in a relationship from people you don't know I think is better then people you do, because you get different answers and you get a different perspective. But again getting advice fro friends is to a good thing. Thank you & 4 him to break up w. Me over this b4 he tries it would be crazy. - 7 months ago
He might think your relationship is good shape why need advice from other people, might feel if you use this advice site it means there's problem in your relationship. Some people have this "everyone on internet is a liar" mind because we all behind the screen and never know if we speaking the truth.
No relationship is in good shape.There's always questions, thoughts, concerns. I try to ask him, but he either makes excuses to not talk about it or gives the cold shoulder. That's why I have joined this site and it seems very helpful, but doesn't mean I'm going to run with someones' answer if they say he's a bad guy, you should leave him, etc. Thank you for your opinion, your answer. - 7 months ago
a) Insecure about the relationship. b) Doesn't understand what this site is about. c) Offended about something you wrote specifically.
a) Seems to be the obvious answer, but I'm not so sure. Maybe he doesn't understand that people talk about their relationships (to get advice and whatnot) with their friends. It could just be me, but I'd rather have a girl talk about personal details of the relationship with complete strangers than her friends who I'd be seeing frequently in real life (but unable to talk to them about it because, of course, I wouldn't know *what* things she'd told them).
b) Could be it, probably not, but this does kind of look like a dating site (there are a few dating-site-like features) but I think if he's used it he'd know no one is hitting on anyone else, at least not in the Q&A section.
c) Maybe you posted about a problem with the relationship that he didn't know about and that's upsetting him because you didn't talk to him about it. Maybe. Who knows.
I'd try to talk to him about it and see what the deal is if I were you. The fact that he cares shows that he cares about you and doesn't want to lose you. Just be careful not to let that kind of attitude get "too far", as it's that exact sort of thing that leads to abusive relationships (eg: the guy not letting the girl have any friends who are guys, etc). Not saying that's happening, just draw your own line at what's affectionate and what's abusive.
I do agree with what you have said, everything. And one part I do want to mention is that he does not let me have any guy friends, he hates me having guy friends (sometimes even girl friends). How did I let it get that far? - 7 months ago
It appears to be an initial negative reaction to this site based on a small bit of information. People who subscribe to other sites for flirting or hooking up tend to be sneaky in their pursuit if they already have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
It appears that you are being transparent here with him. There's nothing to hide and you've posted pics of both of you, asked questions about things concerning your relationship with him, and have invited him to try the site for himself.
Yes I have even posted pictures and I have mentioned that to him, let him look at my profile to show I'm not on here to hide anything, just ask things that sometimes is weird or when I try to ask him things I get the cold shoulder. I think the site is very helpful, and I did and hope he does join the site to see for himself. But like some of the things he said he was going to ask were kind of mean, out of character, because I would never ask those types of questions. But thank you for your opion - 7 months ago
Okay now from your situation all I can say that he isn't jealous. He is just feeling insecure because he thinks that some guy might take you from him. Sometimes bad things could happen. Besides instead of coming here and asking questions about him on here is not a good thing. Only he can tell you everything about himself. Here you will just take opinions from people and you may assume things and assuming is bad. So try to make him comfortable and he will tell you whatever you want to know. I hope my opinion will help you.
P. S :- This guy loves you and doesn't want to lose you.
Yeah, I 1st want to thank you for your advice,your opinion. But when I do try and talk to him about certain things that I have asked on here he would give a cold shoulder, or just make an excuse not to talk about that topic. 2nd when I was talking to him I even said Its not like I am going to go by what they say, I just hearing from others what they have to say (because it is good to here from others about peoples relationships they don't really know nothing about besides the information given) thanks - 7 months ago
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