My ex girlfriend and I broke up 6 months ago we went out for 3 years and we still talk on the internet and that's about it I haven't seen her for a while. She is seeing someone else and I haven't asked any questions about him because I asked if she is happy then I won't pry in. But I ran into her parents and some of her parents friends all together and they asked me how I was and stuff then they all started to talk about her new boyfriend and said he is a douche bag and is really dumb they don't like him. They want me to step in and talk to her. But what can I say I'm a ex she won't listen to me. I guess they all hate him and would like me to try to break them up and want me to ask her out again. Weird thing is this is how we meet in the first place. She was going out with a douche bag and her parents keep saying my name and asked what she thinks about me. Also my really good friend is her older brother and he is home from college. I guess they tried already and she got all defensive. So how can I talk to her and have her listen to me and also not get her mad at her parents and at me
Thats really hard mostly because she will be suspicious to start with. Why don't you give a similar situation of someone you care about like a sister or another good friend. Explain a frustration about something similar, and show her how much you care about that, and how other people are also concerned. and point out stuff that's happening in that relationship that is also going on in her relationship (but don't bring her boyfriend into it- as a matter of fact don't bring that relationship up at all). Get her to bring out things she doesn't like about the guy she is dating. After she brings it up ask her leading questions that make her think of the negative. Let it come from her mouth, so that it is not everyone else saying something, but its her owning the issue. That way it is no longer about pissing off her parents, its about her life and the problems this guy could cause. She obviously doesn't want to listen to other people, so she needs to listen to herself.
If she doesn't see a problem. Wait a little bit, and then ask if you could talk to her in private, and tell her that her parents came to you with a concern and explain it in a gentle an positive fashion.
Personally, I don't really think it's your place to say something, especially if you don't know her boyfriend. I think if you did try to step in she would probably get really upset. I mean, if her parents don't like the guy, I'm guessing they've probably already said something to her which means she will more than likely know that's why you are talking to her in the first place. I also don't think you should ask her out again, #1 because she has a boyfriend and #2 because you have no reason other than her parents telling you to. It's one thing if you still have feelings for her and want to get back together, but it's something totally different if you're doing it for the sake of her parents. I don't know, to me, it just seems like this is a really strange situation. I would try and stay out of it and let her deal with her own problems.
I doubt she would listen to you, it sounds as if she is rebelling against her parents for trying to control her life. She probably dating this guy just to make them angry.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
asked Yesterday
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