Well, alright, this is going to sound cliche and guys will probably get insulted by it, but I would can't help how I feel and my opinions. I have this really strong anger towards men. And I mean it in a sense that every relationship that I've been in , I've gotten my heart torn up and laughed in my face by guys (and they were even the really really nice ones! ). But now I just have this really strong, almost passionate anger towards men that even if I try to date again, the next guy will simply end up cheating or do something really bad. I mean, this anger is so strong it sometimes makes me physically ill, that and I've even thought about becoming a lesbian just because the next guy I know will end up being a jerk (and I only go for the "nice" guys). I know not all guys are like this, and that there is that population out there, but I can't help but feel that every single guy is only going to be nice because he thinks he'll get some but if he doesn't (and I mean the relationship just started like maybe a few weeks or a month ago and I'm only going to give it up to someone I care for and have dated for a long time and he knows it) he'll just go off and screw a hooker and throw it back in my face.
I've talked about it with people because I know talking helps, but it doesn't seem to be making a dent. Is there anything else that I can do to help me change my feelings on the subject? Maybe some advice from girls on how deal with these certain situations or something? Just ANYTHING will help. I do want a boyfriend, I just feel that no matter what I do, or how much effort I put into it, I'm still going to get stabbed in the back. HELP PLEASE!
Update: Well, I don't know what to do because it seems that every guy I date is sexually active, and I'm not going to give it up just like that. I want to wait to get to know the guy, but he'll just leave me because I'm not ready yet. What should I do?
6 months ago
We now live in a world where dating has become one of the greatest competitions to achieve, most guys are assholes including me I'll admit that, be careful because these nice guys you date could very well be a wolf in sheeps clothing and if I were you I wouldn't take kindness as a weakness. Men want to have sex its in our nature to have sex, and if your dating someone who's sexually active and you want them to wait forever to have sex, your problem is this we can't take it , and it frustrates the hell out of us. The waiting forever causes a guy to cheat and because of todays time, so many other women are willing to have sex and so we do it. With guys we want sex first, relationship second and when we get no sex but a relationship, that just plain well sucks.
Take a break from dating. That's what I did. Another thing is vent it out. Do you have some friends you can talk to? Maybe you like going out and watching movies, anything that's going to get you feeling better. I wrote down all my hatred in a notebook and after a while it just went away and I wasn't angry at men anymore. I mean yeah there are jerks out there but there are good guys.
Change will only begin if you want to change. The type of people you attract are a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Think about it. If you are angry, sad, or disappointed with yourself, how can you expect a nice, handsome, and smart guy be attracted to you? You need to change these associations that you have made from your previous relationships that all guys are bad if they do x, y, and z. I think you get my drift here. Are you happy with yourself right now and where you stand in your life? If not, then those would be areas to address first. Once you are happy with yourself, you will attract good guys. It also requires that you really sit down and pause for a minute when you do find yourself getting mad at something your boyfriend did. Is your anger legitimate? Or is is just because someone in your past did something similar and you feel that history is repeating itself? If you find yourself basing your anger from experiences in the past, then you need to stop it right now! This is only going to jeopardize you and your future with this person. Hopefully this helps and I wish you the best of luck!
Okay, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I have a way that changed all my anger, and I have had a lot of anger. But it was groomed from birth, my dad cheated on my mom, and vice versa, though my mom will never admit it and my dad swears he has "justification" I have been angry at pretty much everything.
You have a right to be angry, but the only person it is hurting is yourself, and the only way to change it is to forgive them. The only way I was ever able to forgive anyone was though God. I don't know if you are Christian or what you think about God, but that's what changed me as a person, knowing there is something so much bigger out there then everything, and that he is on my side.
This might not be what you want to hear, but it is the best I have.
I would suggest you stop dating for awhile. like take some time to focus on yourself. also, since you always get hurt, keep your shields up whenever you might start dating again until your 100% positive its safe to take them down. and when you start dating again, take it slow. even if you feel pressured. because if you can take it slow with a guy, and can take your time, and he's willing to wait around and stuff, then he might be a keeper. just remember that some guys are jerks, but not all of them. and usually each of us are attracted to a certain type of guy. ive always been drawn to the guys that seem nice at first then turn out to be jerks. luckily I found a really great guy and he's perfect for me. so don't give up hope. your mr. right is out there. sometimes it just takes time. so don't rush it.
I would either chill out for awhile and take a break from dating, or maybe, write down everything that goes wrong and when and why in every relationship you have, or go seek professional help
Yeah, but I'm one of those people who just keeps thinking about it because it's something that bothers me, but thanks, I'll try that. - 7 months ago
Answerer
Believe me with each break up I go thru I dwell on it also, but time is the only thing that will make it better. I hope you feel better and I wish you luck. Try to be positive. That is what you will attract, the laws of karma are so real. Think positive, act positive and you will attract the same. I promise you that is the truth. - 7 months ago
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
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