I have not spoken to my ex in 2 years, not even a simple hello. But now that it's been 2 years, I want my pictures back. Pictures of me in elementary, junior, high school. But I don't want him to think I want him back, or for him to run around saying, I want him back,(if he has changed his attitude now, he's not going to change), but those pictures I want back, there my memories. And do you think he still has them [pictures]. What should I say to him?
Maybe you can offer to have them mailed to you. You pay for the postage and such. That way it is clear to him that you REALLY don't want anything more from him. I'm sure he will ask why you won't just come and get them. You can then discuss the reason, which should only be about getting those pictures. Tell him that you prefer not to make any trouble by seeing him and vise versa. He will spill his guts and feelings after that. Kind of a trap door method for ya! You can find out what you need to know without even asking. Do more listening than talking. That will give you a feel for whether seeing him (picking up the package) again will plant ideas in his head or not.
And besides. Who cares what he thinks! Get the photos and keep it moving. Unless you still have feelings?! Do you?
No, it's taken me this long, to finally get over him, so now it's all business. - 6 months ago
Answerer
If I was the guy, I would pay the most attention to the first few minutes of the call. If you were being cold and rude, then I would be very hard about the situation just for a kick. I would give it back, but make it difficult. So I think you should start off by asking if he had a minute to chat and then apologize for interrupting him about the situation. Maybe ask how he's doing and such. After the ice breaker hit him in the nose with the reason that you are calling. Go from there. No texts! - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Thanks, your comment on the "nose" made me laugh, thanks. - 6 months ago
Answerer
So, go for it already! its been a couple of weeks since you asked the question. update us on how it went. Good Luck - 6 months ago
I can totally understand not talking in that long - except that if the pictures were important it would have been good to bring it up much earlier. It depends on what kind of person he is, but even a regular guy might think 2 years is a long time to hold onto something. And an irrate one may have started getting rid of things very quickly. It's certainly OK to get in touch and ask for those things. That shouldn't give him reason to think you want him back. Just don't try to be too social. Keep it short and to the point. Also, don't say anything to jeopardize the plan. If you get into debating ancient history (who was right or wrong), he may say he doesn't still have them when he does.
Just make it as easy as possible for him. If I was expected to actually have to do anything other than be at my house at a certain time I'd be pretty meh about the whole idea.
How easy should I make it? Details. Please - 6 months ago
Answerer
I'd say basically make it so all he has to do is be in the house at a certain time and / or have the stuff found so you can just grab it and go. I don't know friendly you are between each other, but if he is a decent human being, I'm sure the effort of finding the pictures, putting them in a bag or envelope or something and standing at the door at a certain time is fairly reasonable. Just organize it with him via standard communication issues, be sorta friendly. - 6 months ago
N/A
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 6 months ago
If they are your property then YES get them back and just so that you won't lose them again, SCAN them into your computer making a digital copy and back everything up onto a CD. I got rid of all my hard copies a long time ago. My childhood pictures went from a big box of photos down to a few duplicated safely stored away backup CDs.
Yeah they are really important to me, but what I'm having trouble is what to say after two years (it was not a very peaceful break-up) most of all what do I say? Help - 6 months ago
Answerer
If you still have his email address then send him a quick message saying that you think he still has your photos and you would like to arrange a place and time to retrieve them. OR call him directly using another phone number he's not familiar with and leave a message saying the same thing as the email. IF he picks up say who you are and tell him the ONLY reason you are calling him is because of the pictures. Never use the phone number you currently have, use a friend's phone. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Just a question, why should I use another number? - 6 months ago
Answerer
If the relationship ended badly and the two of you haven't been in contact since the break-up then he may or may not still have the original phone number you gave him to contact you. Most people nowadays have a cell phone where you can see who's calling you before you answer. If this guy wants nothing to do with you then when he sees your phone number he may simply not answer or erase your message without listening to it which leaves you clueless as to whether he got the message or not. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Just one more question? I know your' probly thinking I'm weird, but who are you? And how old are you? Just for my information - 6 months ago
Good point about the phone number. Technology is a double edged sword. If he does get the massage and picking the items up or having him drop them off begins to feel very awkward, maybe ask a third person to be a go between. Say it's not that you don't trust him - it's just less awkward. Maybe you won't need to or maybe he'd like that too. Those are some what-if ideas, but you really know him best. - 6 months ago
I just got divorced in January after 11 years together. I had a box of stuff in my living room that was full of stuff that belonged to my ex (pictures, stuffed animals from his childhood, pilot training logs). I kept it for about 6 months. He hasn't had any contact with me in those 6 months so today I took that box to the dumpster and threw it all away. I suggest you do the same.
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(Age:30 to 35)
When: 6 months ago
asked Yesterday
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