I've been flirting with this girl for a few weeks now and I really care about her. Unfortunately she's ignoring me now.
Last week I'm sitting in a bar minding my own business when one of my friends gets into an argument with some man. (I really don't remember why)
My friend, Dave, is a small dude. about 5'5 with a really skinny build. So making sure he does not get himself killed I step between the feuding two and try to talk the stranger down.
After a minute or so of heated debate the man begins to get crazed and grabs a sledgehammer off the wall (I have no idea why somebody would hang a hammer on the wall as an ornament) and proceeds to take it to the bar. and than points the hammer at me.
Wanting to protect myself and any people that are standing around I quickly swung at the attacker and knocked him unconscious. I really felt like I had to do it, I was almost completely sober, the bar had no bouncers, and there was only two or three female bartenders on duty. Unfortunately, his friends didn't agree with me.
I had no idea that this guy had an entourage with him. they were all previously standing outside smoking a few cigarettes, and walked back in the bar door to see their friend lying on the floor.
What proceeded that moment was complete mayhem. the entire bar erupted into a fight straight out of a cowboy movie. Chairs were being smashed, beer bottles were broken over peoples' heads. it was complete mayhem.
Before I knew it the cops showed up and my friends, along with me were all in handcuffs being escorted to jail.
nobody was around to bail me out other than my parents. so I exhausted my only option. I called her
Not only did she bail out all of my friends (we paid her back) but she gave us all rides home and medical treatment
Now she's ignoring me. before this I really never got into conflicts with anybody, I've never started a fight in my entire life before this moment. I'm a rugby player, and I'm pretty muscular but if you ask anybody I know, I'm a pretty gentle person.
Is there anything I can do to fix this image she has of me. or am I pretty much f***ed?
oh boy. that's a bit tough. well when girls get this perception of someone, it's a bit hard to not get fixated on that. maybe the situation scared off and she doesn't want to be with someone who seems violent.
Shes a big time hippy, she HATES violence in any way shape or form
her ex was a steroid user and she's really paranoid about stuff like that - 6 months ago
Answerer
You know what, I think you're just going to have to prove to her that you aren't a violent person. start from scratch and see how it goes from there. you don't want to appear like you're coming on way too strong. that might scare her off.
if nothing seems to work then I'd say you should move on. but for now don't give up, just give her some time to get over the shock. btw, how long ago was this incident? - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Like 2 weeks ago... I was worried but I think she might come around - 6 months ago
Answerer
That's not too long ago. give her some time to get over the situation. maybe another 2 more weeks if you have the patience. if it's really bugging you that she's avoiding you, maybe talk to her about it. if she won't talk to you in person then send her an e-mail explaining yourself and how her avoiding you is making you feel. - 6 months ago
Maybe not, some people jump to assumptions about people. You could contact her and bring up what happened in the conversation and explain things to her. Give her the opportunity to take you at your word. If she doesn't, then she can confirm it with anyone else who was present.
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