This guy I've been dating for a little bit is confusing me. There is certain ways that I don't like to be touched. I told him this and I told him the ways and why. Its because I have been raped before and if he does that touch I get uncomfortable. So I ask him not to do that and when I do he gets upset and says I'm calling him a rapist. I don't know how he got the ideal that I'm calling him a rapist. I told him I did not call him a rapist and he said right and just gave me the cold shoulder.
What the heck did I do? Also he says if I let him know what I do and do not like then that is like me trying to control the relationship.
This is just a tiny small part of stuff he complains about or does. Its confusing me. makes me afraid to say or do anything around him, but then he complains about that so I'm just lost now.
Hes really sensitive about everything and I don't know how to handle it. He makes me feel guilty about every little thing I do, or don't do. Please guys help explain this stuff to me.
He sounds selfish. Tell him that. I actually think he needs a little yelling at, or at least a stern talk. Tell him rape is not something that you just get over and if he doesn't respect a girl's wishes he might as well be a rapist (well.that might be a little mean there, but you might say it in anger). I'd just show him that it sincerely hurts you and if he isn't gonna respect that you can't respect him anymore.
Sensitive guys aren't always good. This guy's a stupid insecure wuss. Don't feel guilty. You should be controlling the relationship when it comes to where and when you can be touched wherever. Some girls like guys to control this, others do not. You're not bad for wanting it to be slow.
Do you desire physical intimacy? You don't have to. If you do, then initiate it, you'll feel more in control. If you don't, then make it more clear about why, and just how far he'll be getting. Don't try to understand all this emo bullshit, judge by his actions. Judge by what he does, and if he stays or goes, and what he's satisfied with, and the aims underlying the actions.
Thanks. Yea I desire physical intimacy just not as much as he would like. Then he goes on to say things like "I wonder if your going to hate me because of my desire for intimacy" even though I tell him I won't and don't, he just shakes his head no at me every time. Then goes liar. Thanks for the help. I'm going to try the judging by what he does and see if it means anything different.
:) - 3 months ago
What Girls Said
N/A
(Age:Under 18)
When: 3 months ago
I'm not a guy, but he need to understand what makes you comfortable/uncomfortable.
You explained to him that it made you uncomfortable. If he cared for your feelings, he would listen to this. It seems that he is just interested in having his feelings and getting what he wants.
Not to try to tell you what to do, but if I were you, I would re-evaluate this relationship.
Heh.. he listens for like.. a second and then goes "but it shouldnt be that way, you should be comfortable in me in every way no matter what" blah blah blah. I am starting to re-evaluate this relationship... Thanks. - 3 months ago
Answerer
I'm glad that you are re-evaluating the relationship and that I could be of help to you. - 3 months ago
N/A
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 3 months ago
He wants to be in control of relationship himself. Don't let that happen! Put your cards down and tell him to either respect of your demands or he's not worth continuing relationship. I am in this situation and that's what I'm about to do, Just I'm not in relationship but friends with benefits I think but also with emotions, hard to call this situation.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
My ideal first date would be first we go to the movies and see a comedy after we would go somewhere slightly quiet but still fun so we can talk and get to know each other.
(Age:Under 18)
When: 3 months ago
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