I don't know if it's because of what's happened lately between me and my ex of 3 weeks and/or a combination of my failed relationships but I was wondering if anyone else felt this way. I've been feeling like I can't really trust guys as much as I used to. It's not even just that. If I happen to catch some guy looking over at me, I pretend I don't see him, keep walking and not smile or just get the heck out of there. I've been finding myself indifferent towards males in a not so healthy way. I don't feel comfortable being around them, sometimes to the point of being extremely cautious. As much as possible I keep my encounters with males, in person, short and impersonal. It's gotten to the point where some of my male friends have started to notice a change in my behaviour towards them. They'd tell me that I used to be friendlier, thoughtful and considerate but nowadays I've become distant and seem like I have my mind somewhere else.
I know why I feel the way I do, I just wondered if any of the girls here have experienced these kind of feelings towards guys? Like you're disgusted by them and just don't want to be around them? I hope this is a temporary thing because it's making me so pessimistic and cynical. my gfs and best friend keep telling me that I shouldn't be harsh and judgmental towards our male friends and acquaintances. but it's so hard not to when I'm so convinced that the majority of males simply can't be trusted with anything. I know people will try to convince me otherwise through logical reasoning but I fore one have only seen it in one man and that's my father.
anyway.please have some thoughtful answers. much appreciated. thanks.
It's perfectly understandable as to why you'd feel that way. I feel that way about women because practically every one I've dated was a big fan of head games. But before you turn into a man-hating feminist who thinks all guys are jerks, you should start evaluating yourself. Maybe there's just something about the TYPE of guys you're into. A lot of women think that "nice" guys are boring, so they date guys who are more unpredictable or the "bad boys", and end up regretting it because there's a reason that "nice guys" are called "nice."
All I'm saying is that you're not wrong to feel the way you do, but before you start making generalizing statements about guys, consider the possibility that maybe it's not all guys, but just the KIND of guy you're into, and should try giving a chance to other kinds of guys.
You're in the age group right now where women start to realize that the type of guys they dated in high school/college aren't the type who they can marry and have a long lasting relationship. A lot of things are changing for you right now.
I didn't start dating until I was in college. I've dated all sorts of guys from good to bad. there's no difference, at least I haven't seen any. to me they're all the same. - 5 months ago
I've felt the same way about girls at one point, still sorta do, so I guess its normal. But it doesn't mean its healthy (for you OR guys) to treat all guys the way you are, mainly for you. Can't let one bad experience ruin all other potential relationships and friendships.
I went through a phase in college when I was very angry at men in general. There were a lot of things that led to this. My best friend had just been raped. I'd just been cheated on by the first guy I'd ever been with. I was taking a lot of Women's Studies classes which often focused on sexism. And I was working in a restaurant, one of two girls with about twenty guys, and was facing a lot of sexism there. All this stuff combined to just basically make me totally hateful and distrustful of men for a couple years. Like to an unhealthy level. It was kind of consuming me. I thought about it all the time and constantly viewed things through a male vs. female sort of lens.
I've calmed down quite a bit since then. I'd still describe myself as a feminist, but no longer as an angry one. I think what helped was that I dated a really nice guy with friends who were similar and the more I got to know them better the more I realized that there was no reason to be angry at guys like that.
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