Men, what is the difference?

1st
Never leave the one you love for the one you like.
10 years is very long time.

The difference between I don't care and I'm not happy.

I don't care shows more of a feeling of "what ever happens, happens."
It recommends that you are down for whatever.
That you are ready to make a move on moments notice.

I'm not happy is more a temporary feeling.
It recommends that you are not happy "right now", which at moments notice can change.
That you might do something if you felt it would make you happy.
Happiness comes with being content.

I also felt as though he was feeling you out to see if you were on the same page as him.
I don't recommend cheat, as I never do.
If he is who you want to be with, I suggest telling you Boyfriend that this is not what you want.
Either that or tell him that y'all need to take a break to evaluate where the relationship is going.
You know this will not be easy.
But I would think after 10 years, marriage.
If your not thinking of marriage, then maybe you should consider taking a break.
Good Luck


Sincerely,
A Loving Black Man

I think the "I don't care" could easily mean that he is ready to be done with his girlfriend, if you are. The situation you are in is complicated obviously, but I feel that the way he went around stating that he doesn't care, but doesn't want to hurt her, was completely a way of feeling you out. He didn't want to give too much right away because if you didn't want to move forward with him, he didn't want you to know how ready he was to move forward with you. Men are strange and they use those little hints all the time. They don't want to be emasculated by being like "Honey, I love you so much, I need to be with you and only you." From what you have told us, I definitely think he wants to move forward with you and leave the past behind.

I know a lot where you are coming from. Only my situation is even more complicated than yours. I don't feel that I'm not happy means I'm not happy for NOW. Sometimes it does mean I have haven't been happy in a long time and I KNOW that I'm not going to be happy with you anymore. Your pretty lucky because you are in this situation with no marriage and no kids.

For instance mine is a lot more complicated because he is getting married next month, he doesn't want to, but at this point he feels obligated to beings they have already put so much into the wedding, planning and money. And I have a kid with my boyfriend, and I can't bare the thought of not having my son in my house with me everynight to go to bed, none the less half the rest of his life. And there are other things but too much to go into.

Bottom line, only those of us who have been in the situation of being with someone and then finding someone else can understand how it feels. It's not like we want to cheat, or we necessarily go out looking for it, it just happens because we aren't happy. And being "not happy" is very important. No one should have to be not happy. (Did that make sense?)

He probably was feeling you out. So if you want to be with him, let him know that. Talk about when the appropriate time to let your current relationships go. Bottom line you need to do what makes you happy. Just because you have been with the guy for 10 years, doesn't mean you HAVE to stay with him forever. Good Luck.