I've been friends with a guy for about 10yrs. We've always been flirtatious with each other but never actually dated. (The timing was always off and we were never single at the same time.) We kissed a few times, when we were a lot younger, but nothing else ever happened. Through the years, it's always mostly been me calling him and me texting him. I got married 3yrs ago and he attended my wedding. (He's been single for about 2yrs now) We've maintained our friendship, and things were good, except I was still the one always calling him. I confronted him about this and told him I was hurt and felt this is a one sided relationship. He said no, he cares about me, I'm his best female friend and he never meant to make me feel this way, but he's just always busy with work and taking care of his elderly grandparents. About 6mos ago, we kissed. This continued (just kissing), until last month, when we had s*x. We've had s*x a few times since then. (I know, I'm a terrible person.) Now he rarely returns my calls, and I'm worried I've lost one of my best friends. Was he just using me? Can a friendship of 10yrs be saved? Can it even be called a friendship when it seems so one-sided? What should I do?
Girl, I think you are the problem here. I know I have a thumbs down coming, but it don't matter. You see, first of all you cheated on your husband - big time. And I find it a little funny that having sex with another man when you are married seems fine to you, yet you seem to fear writing out the whole word "sex". Instead you use this clever little "s*x".
Secondly, your little friend with benefits here, he was trying to do the right thing all along (that is, prior to having sex with you). You thought that the relationship was very "one-sided" because you were always the one calling him. The fact is, he was purposely trying not to intrude on your marriage. He recognized not only that you were married, but that you and him also had an unpredictable friendship. He didn't want that to jeopardize your marriage. You are the one that made short work of his effort to do the right thing. Sorry this is a tad mean sounding, but you asked for an honest answer, and honesty is something you need more of in your life.
Why be a 'bad boy', but still be nice and polite?What is the point in still being nice and polite?Or are you just cynical and have a 'take and...
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 2 months ago
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