I am a person who never speaks her mind, I always think about other people's feelings. Sometimes though when someone is rude to me I stand up for myself. But I always feel so guilty afterwards. So this is a 2 part question. First off, how can I not feel guilty when I stand up for myself? and I am just wondering was I wrong for saying this? My sister is 9 years older than me, and she is very vein and self centered. It's her way or the highway. So I grew up doing whatever she told me. After 15 years of it, I guess I got sick of being ordered around by her. Well we are putting in a pool and she lives in a different state and I have been taking pictures to show her. Well I igned online to send her he pictures and she said email them to me. Well I didn't know how to emal them. I said can't I just send them through instant messenger, it's faster for me. She said no you need to email them. And I was in the process of emailing them (after she told me how) and then something snapped. I said if you want to see the pictres you have to do it my way. She said you are just being difficult. I said you knw what, you're the one being difficult. You can't always have it your way. I am tired of being told what to do. Then she was saying how I had an attitude and stuff. And of course after that I felt super guilty. It's not the point that I wouldn't send the pics through email because I would have been happy to, it is the fact that I have always done everything her way even though it is always much harder for me. So was I wrong for saying that? And how to I get over feeling so guilty? Thanks!
I don't think it was the message that was wrong, but maybe how you said it could have been better. Instant messenger may not work so well for her. So while standing up is ok, maybe the the thing to do would be say I can't put them in a mail right now so we'll have to try it later. That way she would just wait to see them until you have more time or she's ready with messenger. So don't let her make all the decisions, but don't get riled either. That'll probably take care of the guilty part.
She said the only reason she didn't want me to send them through instant messanger was because it would be harder for her. and thanks for your answer - 2 months ago
yes you were definitely wrong,sorry if it ain't what you hoed to hear,but you are being cocky,having high and mighty and domineering attitudes,why would you care who's way it is,if she is older and has more experience and expertise in some which you definitely can't have,due to you being younger for 9 years,it means you must follow her advices,if you wanna do things ur way then you piss her off by making mistakes which is natural ,but displeasing to an older sibling,just do it ok?
Thanks for your answer but what I'm getting from it is that it is ok for her to be cocky and all that to me but I can't stand up for myself to her? and she doesn't give me advices, she gives me orders. but thanks for your answer - 2 months ago
Just because someone is older does not give them the right to disrespect you. She is her sister, not God. She can be put in her place just like anyone else. - 2 months ago
Question Asker
Thank you that's what I thought too - 2 months ago
I'm the youngest of five, and my oldest sibling is nine years older than me, so I completely understand what you mean.
I don't think it's wrong for you to stand up to your sister, but you might've chosen the wrong time. You already agreed to e-mail her the pictures, so going back and telling her no just seems moody. Plus, it's not really a big deal. I'm sure there are times when you feel like your sister is completely ordering you around, and those would be better times to say something, but you don't necessarily have to get an attitude. I've figured out that the best way to approach an issue with my siblings is to just be calm about it.
I usually feel guilty when I stand up for myself too, but I don't think that's anything I can change. I don't like making people feel badly, so of course I regret it. But my attitude towards it is you can't change the past. You can apologize for what you said, but you can't actually take it back, so try not to dwell on it.
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(Age:Under 18)
When: 2 months ago
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