What's a good indicator that someone maybe emotionally unavailable ? Are you that person ? Have you been with that person ? Its starting to feel like I maybe checking out . Its hard for me to allow CLOSENESS I often feel that guys ( and people in general) don't have my best interest at heart. When I was younger I was the sucker . . . And for awhile it made me a bit hostile . I don't want my past to weigh heavy on my present , but I'm never amused . . . There's a lot of bull to be had and I NO longer want to be a recipient.
you are not a sucker. You are probably just like me. I don't expect people to lie to me. I don't see a reason for them to lie to me, but they do. They think because you believe their lied that you are gullable and stupid. You are not. They choose to take advantage of you. Learn to trust your own instincts. If you feel as though someone is hurting you stop finding excuses to forgive them so soon. You have the right to be mad. Do not let anyone disrespect you.
I was and am the person that you are speaking of. in fact, I am amazed at how well you put down your thoughts and feelings in this post. It is me verbatim.
I am not sure if you were looking for advice on how to change, but I have to tell you.I don't want to change. I am exactly like your description, but I like it. I feel like I am in control of my own life for the first time. I have ambition, I have knowledge, and I am ready to do what I want.
I find that I have subconscious tendencies to drive people away, but some people I keep close. I literally have one friend that I trust now, and the rest I have thrown to the wolves. I find that I realize what I am doing to people and then quickly try and remedy the situation, but that only goes for the people that I want to keep around.
Thank you for responding . . I don't want to change either . When I was a bit younger I had a HUGE circle of people around me , but one by one everyone started dropping like flies. I can count my good friends on one hand and well I only need one finger. I guess you get my point. I feel in control of my life too and there's no greater reward. - 3 months ago
I can definitely tell that you are hostile, and I don't mean that in a bad way nor am I trying to be critical, just using your words. Did something just happen to make you post this? Are you wanting to just vent or need something else?
My thoughts.
I don't think that you are emotionally unavailable, you're emotionally TOO available. In fact, I think you wear you emotions on your sleeve. And as a result, you are angry all the time especially towards anyone who tries to get close.
You say you don't want your past to weigh heavy on your present but it is doing that and plus some. It is blocking your present and changing your future.
It's very hard to be where you are. I know because I have been there. But I realized that the only thing I can change is what I do and how I react to people. I limit interaction with people who are not genuine. I give only what I can afford to lose. If the person gives back, then the next time, I give a little more until I find the stopping ground. Sometimes I am lucky to find that there is no stopping ground and I can give fully of myself to someone else.
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