someone that is in love versus someone that is just desperate

Desperation comes from an unhealthy, internal, reaction to perceived threats. It is not a healthy response and has the potential to spoil relationships that are growing into love, because the person who becomes desperate cannot allow themselves to respond in a healthy manner, or they will be risking a loss they perceive as critical to their identity. Desperation lends itself to manipulation and deceit, in order to avoid the loss that is perceived as worse than death, like loneliness can seem. It is focused on the moment with the past and future being blocked out and the potential pain of the moment becoming permanent and unsolvable.

Love is a permanent, healthy, combination of the physical, rational, emotional and spiritual aspects of a person coming into relationship with the same aspects of another person. It results in joy, peace, faithfulness, patience, kindness, perseverance, compassion, gentleness, humility (in the sense that one is aware of who they are and content with that, not needing to prove, or be more), sharing burdens, and self control. Love results in truth, openness and vulnerability to the object of it, as we let down our walls and coping mechanisms so we can truly invest our selves in the other person.

People who suggest just letting something go, instead of acknowledging, processing and allowing Jesus to redeem the pain being felt, are simply hiding behind their own coping mechanisms. They tend to be uncomfortable around people who are willing to feel, and process, their pain, when they are wounded in their soul. If they hang around people who process their pain, they will end up building impenetrable walls, or caving in and processing their own.

Some people are just too anxious to get into that "relationship zone".and when it doesn't happen the way they want it, they freak out and panic.

EXCUSE YOU!

exposing your true emotions is a sign of strength, honesty and maturity. weak, shallow people don't have the balls to be that open to others because of fear they may get hurt.

someone who is desperate is just an individual who is lonely and is experiencing pain inside themselves, and want to seek comfort in the arms of others. this is not necessarily a weakness, per se, but people who cannot commit because of their own fears regularly, just suck and need therapy.


YES I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE!

i have thought the same thing ever since I started going on this site, but I never knew how to word it. I don't like all the people that give the advice "dump him! he's a loser." or other things along those lines. love isn't that simple. if you truly love someone, you can't, and wont, just forget about em

Love doesn't necessarily mean you aren't desperate. I think that if I was in love with a person, I would want to do everything I could to be with them. It might come off as desperate to other people (and maybe it is, even a little), but so what? You want to be with someone, because you care about them enough to devote yourself to them.