I have been with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years. This makes me slightly embarrassed to even have to ask a question on a site like this, but here goes.
Before we went out, she cheated on her then- boyfriend with this dude she knew.
Fast forward, and she eventually tells me about how she did that, and I made it very clear to her that it made me feel really uncomfortable that she sometimes talked to him. As far as I know, they pretty much stop talking.
I have always been trusting of her and I have never had any reason to believe she had cheated on me. Then this happened:
We used to live together, but I had to move one state over to finish up school. I see her every other weekend, religiously. When I was there this past weekend, she went on her Facebook on my laptop. She must have left it logged in.
I went on facebook, thinking it was my account, and I saw that I had a message. I clicked on it, and then I realized it was her account. I was going to log off, but then I realized she had messages from that guy that she cheated on her ex boyfriend with.
I had to click on it. I couldn't help it. Inside, he was saying all these things like "you are so gorgeous. I haven't seen you in a while and you got so beautiful." blah blah blah. stuff like that. and then she says things like "I was just thinking about you" and "we should hang out some time" and "shut up! I'm not THAT pretty! :)"
That's pretty flirtatious if you ask me.
So what I want to know, is what should I do? Should I ask her about it? She'll probably think I was "snooping" but I really honestly wasn't. I had no reason to not trust her. I just feel like a conversation like that could only go badly.
Help!
Update: i talked to her about it. everything is fine. she told me nothing happened and I believe her.
Well, I think if she cheated once and got away with it, she'll cheat again. Your not around her a lot to spend that "quality time" together so she might go get it else where, since she's done it before.
As for your accidental "snooping" maybe it was meant for you to see. I mean not that she left it on purpose but just in general.
I think you should talk to her and it might end up in an argument but it's better to get it out now then to think nothing of it and look like a fool and get hurt in the end.
Tell her the truth, The same as what you just told us about the website.
She'll say "oh I thought you trust me, what are you doing going threw my messages". I think if she gets really really upset then she might be already cheating.
That's just my opinion. I could be wrong and they're just friends and nothing happened since her last cheat. The fact of the matter is He has been intimate with her so he knows what she's about and probably thinks he can get it again.
ask her explain how you explained on here I would be worried. I have cheated before and that is how its starts out stop it before it goes anywhere. or she could also be fishing for compliments sometimes when a girl has a low self asteem she does that as well I don't know why we do it but we do. it just might make her feel better then other people think she is pretty. Don't keep it inside it will just linger tell her how you feel and confront her not in a hostile way she will just get defensive and it will lead to a fight. just be honest.
Yes, I definitely agree with moms2tob3. I've never cheated cheated, but I have prowled for compliments before and actually have exposed myself to someone over the internet. And if you're not careful, that could be what she's doing behind you're back. - 4 months ago
I'm not familiar with Facebook, nor am I familiar with myspace and such, but, if it was a comment, not a "secret" e-mail, tell her you saw on her page that she was talking to that guy and you're a little curious. If not, tell her exactly what you told us. It's important if you two have been together for this long, you CAN talk to each other! You having a long relationship with her, actually, makes it easier to talk to someone.so, give it a shot.
It was a private message. Like I said though, I wasn't snooping. Her account was logged in on my computer already and without looking at what account was logged in, I saw there was a private message, so I clicked on it thinking it was for me - 4 months ago
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