What do you say to yourself to cut out anxiety?

Fastboxster - "reconnaissance mission" - that's awesome.

Write it out first - multiple scenerios, if you'd like. Envision it going well, not poorly. Talk to a few women that you are not that interested in so that you can practice and get your courage up. Then, take a deep breath and ask.

You are probably getting nervous because you are putting way too much pressure on the initial conversation. Worst case scenerio - she doesn't go out with you. Are you pysically hurt? Bleeding and broken in a gutter? Shot in the head? Nah, it's just a little rejection. Some women will like you, some won't. No big deal...move on to the next. Fate has a way of working out in the end.

Good luck

Quit thinking so much. Consider her your sister and that it's a light and easy conversation about what's going on in her life these days. Expect nothing, relax and have fun. IF it turns into something more, that's another matter, but I think you freak yourself out jumping WAY ahead of the game. Good luck!

You should play it like a numbers game. Think to yourself, "this one is just practice" each time you approach. I usually find at about the 10th approach (within a week or so) I'll have some workable material together. If anybody is making it look easy, then they've been actively practicing "social games" for some time.

Also, plan a good exit strategy. If you think you've irrecoverably "flubbed up" a social encounter then write it off as an experience and move on (thank her for her time and be nice, but move on).

Some guys think of each experience as "planting a seed" so-as to keep the pressure low (even if it goes nowhere today, at least you've planted the seed). Women do seem to like to have multiple exposures to a guy before they like them, so this is a valid approach. If your initial mission is only planting a seed, consider it a reconnaissance mission. Make sure you learn enough about her to increase the likelihood you'll encounter her again. Find out about her favorite restaurants. What neighborhood does she live in? What Church does she attend? What bars? What school? Where does she work? While you don't want to stalk her, the conversation might influence the things you like to do or try.

Other guys picture the girl as weak prey (rent Swingers if you haven't seen it already).

Another thing to consider is that not everyone is a "player". Something that has scored some quality dates for me is socializing with my "coupled" friends. Usually if you do something nice for them, the girl will want to "fix you up". Don't turn it down, and try to enjoy the company of girl they fix you up with. If you make your best effort to entertain her, you're friends will keep looking on your behalf. Don't be afraid of online and local dating services as well.

Also, set your near term goals low. You can always try to improve. For example, initially set your objective to talk to ten different girls. Then try to make a girl laugh. So on until you've found what kind of girls dig you, and you feel like you're able to impress a girl to your level of satisfaction.

You might also consider herbal remedies for "mood and anxiety" from your local GNC. Some of them actually do work. Anything that will help you feel better about your self will help. Lots of people work out at the gym before the weekend. You can get a new hair style/cut. Buy a new suit. Ask a girl you know to help you put together a cool outfit (both shopping for it and wearing it will bolster confidence).

A final tip: Try to be more sociable to everyone around you. Make conversation with the cashier at the grocery store, the girl that cuts your hair, the hottie in the cologne department, etc.

You might be putting to much pressure on yourself to "make something happen."

-- I am going to go talk to that pretty girl, and ask her out, and then we can go on a date, and maybe this will be the one, and so on, and,........ --

Try this. Just go to talk to the girl. Don't worry about the outcome. Don't worry about what she might say (after all, if you are worried abou what she says, then you won't be able to listen, and then you won't be able to converse, and then you'll get more nervous, and it snowballs down).

Set small coversation goals. I want to know her name. That's it! Once you have he name, then you can keep talking about whatever.

A lot of people get nervous like this too. Take marisa's advice and try talking to random people as well. This will help your listening skills (you may not realize, but these will help you the most), and your ability to hold a conversation.

Best of luck.