Abusive guys - what's the appeal?

Because at first it is emotional or after like 3 times of beating up.. it goes to emotional. Emotional is when the guy tells you your worthless and everybody hates you and doesn't let you or tries not to let you talk to anybody other than him. Barely ever family or friends, either.

So when he does it.. you don't even care anymore. And he makes you dependent on HIM. All you have is him. He says he loves you, and you usually can't just "let that go" so you stay with him. Sometimes in fear, sometimes because in the beginning you loved him. But it isn't a good route. Because I guarantee you stuff will happen. And it isn't ever good.

Some of it is fear (afraid he will hurt her) another aspect is that is low self esteem and family history (most women who were abused as a child, or witnessed abuse) think this is the "norm" of male female relationships, or are so used to this pattern that "normalcy" is frightening.

Women like this need counseling to figure out why the accept such treatment, and a good friend will try to get them the help they need.

Some girls have this inner savior thing. Meaning she would like a guy she could change...even an abusive guy. Sometimes we just want to have that feeling of "YES, I did that ..I helped change him." Or the other alternative...she just likes it....the roller coaster ride of emotions..you decide which one!!

I don't know why some girls do that, but it bugs the hell out of me!

When a girl likes a guy it's hard to walk away and get rid of him because they are so attached. I know if that was me going through it the guy would be history but some girls just don't have the heart to say it's over.

I had a friend that was in an abusive relationship for five years and just got out this past May. We were always telling her that he was a jerk but until she saw it for herself she would be mad at us. I think that the guy gets the girl to believe that no one else will love her and she believes that eventually he'll change. It's not true. I've learned that once you stop hounding her about him (usually) she will see him for who he really is.

I misunderstood the question sorry... maybe she is really afraid of the guy or she is blinded to the abuse and tries to love him anyway or she isn't secure enough to leave him for the "unknown".

Hell no!! An abusive relationship is never appropriate. A relationship is about respect and love. Abuse does not fit in ever.